The Punisher #61 [Comics!]

"Thirty years and they still follow me."

Man, I've been busy; so I've been unable to update this for a few days. Well, the buck stops here and I need to get something up, yeah? My head has been full of Dracula's minions and high-ranking Nazis so I needed a break. Why not the "new" Punisher? The one after Garth Ennis left the series, I mean.

Probably perfect, I figured.

I will never accept an argument against the fact that Ennis' Punisher run is probably the most perfect in comic book history, especially considering it went on for sixty freaking issues. Now we are left with a left team on the book, and not long (what, a week?) after the slow-burn climatic and coldly approriate #60.

Gregg Hurwitz picks up where Ennis left off, and from what I understand Hurwitz is a "best-selling crime author". No small feat, I suppose, but does he have the chops? If you want a hardboiled, noir-detective and verbose version of Frank Castle, then yes.

Aside from the almost over-the-fedora-top narrative, I'd say Hurwitz is off to a good start. After yet another re-telling of how Frank lost his family (new writers are required to do this, eh?) we find castle being asked to come down south of the border to Mexico to help some people out who are having their daughters kidnapped... and then turning up dead. Will Frank take this battle on?

Well, not to be Mr. Spoiler, but I think it's safe to say he didn't pass it up. I suppose that one thing that mildly irked me. Oh, right, so Frank is going to refuse and then this story is over? Pretty cliche. Very crime-novel cliche, actually. But whatever, it flowed well and I liked it. Hurwitz delivers a gritty opener to his tale.

At least it doesn't suck and it leaves me curious to see what's next.

As for the art, Laurence Campbell provides a nice, almost "Criminal" perspective (he's like a darker Sean Phillips to me, but with his own style, of course) and it adds to the hardboiled feel nicely. I have not one complaint on the art. It works great!

Other than all that, I'm still at "wait and see". So far, so good... but so what? The next few issues are what will make or break this for me. Here's to Hurwitz and Campbell keeping up the good work.

For more information on this issue, go here.


Lethality: Four of the six party members are killed by a hail of gunfire. Sam Spade and his henchman get away clean, however. They're gonna have to watch their backs now, see?

2000 AD #1600 [Comics!]

"I'm no man's slave, dickhead!"

I just realised something. I haven't written a review about the actual 2000 AD comic, which is one of my absolute favourite things ever, which I look forward to weekly-- or whenever my stack of issues arrives here in Not-UKland.

Oh, and you may notice that I've started placing "[category!]" in the headers. I do this so the title is predominant, and so it's easy to see if you are interested right away. Or something like that.

Anysplrugnig, I figured that Prog 1600 was a great place to start doing the occasional 2000 AD review (more like semi-review / thoughts) right here on 'Grognerd. I'll just do a quick overview of what I think of each thrill. And if you have no idea what 2000 AD is, get your ass to Mars, punk.

Right. I'm pretty tired, so let's get cracking!

First up, as per usual Tooth fare, we have Judge Dredd. This time kicking off a new series called Mutie Block. It's John Wagner and Kev Walker on point, and these guys are probably one of the best Dredd teams today (like that's a big surprise-- Wagner IS Dredd). One thing I love about Judge Dredd in recent years is that it has become deeper and deeper and tends to tackle more complex social issues in it's razor-sharp satirical manner. This time it's immigration (something I'm all too aware of personally these days!). Part one here is all set-up for what looks like an explosive story! Lotta sides and personalities involved. I can't wait to read part two!

Then there's part one to Stalag 666, which is something I've know about for quite some time. This is something writer-droid Tony Lee has had brewing for a little while, and I was terribly excited to see how it panned out. The set-up is quick, and we are filled in on what is essentially Nazi space lizards and their human suck-ups, the "Mussolinis". Hey, it's pretty transparent and heavy-handed, but I'll take this future-war scenario. And there's a reason for this, really. Stalag 666 is a WW2 POW movie as told in 2000 AD fashion. It's Stalag 17 in space and the grim dark future where there is only war. And snake Nazis. We're introduced to some interesting characters and treated with some nasty violence. All in all, I really enjoyed it! It's paced well, and made me yearn for more. Bang-up work, Lee. The artwork by Jon Davis-Hunt has a nice, older-school quality to it which has that rough feel nicely suited to this tale. Good marks all around.

Before I could stop basking in the glow of two great new stories, The Red Seas pops up! Oh, have I missed this thrill. Have I ever. Ian Edginton and Steve Yeowell are in top form, as per usual yadda yadda etc. Are those... Vikings!? Holy shit! This comic keeps getting better and better. Vikings, pirates... and George Washington? This is one of the best black and white comics you will ever read, friends. Old Gods promises to be one helluva thrill-run.

And that's it. Only three comics for this landmark issue, but damn-- what an issue. Chock full of some of the most exciting stuff I've seen in years. In fact, I have to stop yacking about this before you become terribly sick of my raving. I know I've said past issue were great before, but this prog is ACES. The fantastic Greg Staples cover is just the plutonium-enhanced icing. Well done, Tharg. Drokking well done.

Read more about this fine piece of zarjaz here. More info on the thrill mentioned can be found!


Lethality: A Total Block Kill. That's right, an entire Mega-City block was wiped out. I think it Huey Lewis block, actually. Poor buggers. TBKs are brutal.

Bard's Tale Beer [Booze!]

I suppose I should talk about something totally off the tracks occasionally. How about beer? Okay, huzzam!

My life is dictated by my being an obsessive geek. Like, for instance, one day I picked up this beer-stuff called Skullsplitter because 1) it was from Orkney and 2) it had a viking on it-- with an AXE. Of course I had to buy it!

And it tasted like foul dog-shit. Seriously, folks, it's not for the weak of heart. I pretended to enjoy it, but when I heard it won some sort of award, I nearly burst into flames from laughing so hard. I know good beer, and Skullsplitter is anything but "good". Maybe "interesting", or "huh!", but not "good". YMMV, as always.

Anyhow, this isn't about Skullsplitter, but talking about it sure wastes some space-- so I figured "what the hell". This post is about Bard's Tale Beer and what I thought of it.

Naturally, the name itself was the key selling point. "Bard's Tale Beer"? Instantly I thought of one of the best videogame series ever created, one that I loved so much that I included Skara Brae in more than one p&p AD&D campaign. Bard's Tale is a classic computer rpg and was hugely influential on my life.

No shit.

Seeing an alcoholic libation with "Bards's Tale" in it's name, well it conjured up that acute nostalgia we all know and love, especially me. After picking it up and taking it home, I decided to look it up online to see what I got me and my wife into. Sure enough, Bard's Tale Beer's website proclaims it's totally fucking awesome (basically) and that it rules all the Beers in Beerland. It's even won some awards!

No. I didn't think of Skullsplitter. Thanks for asking.

Bard's Tale Beer's Dragon's Gold (which is the official name and classification of the six-pack I purchased) is an American Lager brewed in such a way as to not contain gluten. "100% malted gluten-free sorghum", in fact. This was an excellent point for me, as I am gluten sensitive and lately most beers have been making me feel bleh-- and as a fervent beer-drinker, this is a goddamned nightmare. I was stoked. I was looking forward to this liquid gold so that my thirst for a great lager would be quenched at last.

I drank one, and so did Sharon, my wife. It wasn't bad. It tasted to us kinda like near-beer, except it was supposed to get you drunk. All in all, it rated about 6/10 on the Taste Scale, meaning it was only marginally above average and it had a weird, but not unpleasant, flavour. It certainly wasn't anything to crow about, though, as it really doesn't taste like beer or any lager out there to me ('cept maybe some near-beers, as I've said).

But then the after-taste kicked in. The horrible, horrible after-taste. Oh, ye gawds, it's one of the worst metallic bitter after-tastes I've ever encountered in beer. At least with Skullsplitter you KNOW the after-taste is going to suck sweaty goat nads, because the primary flavour is nearly putrid. With Bard's Tale it goes from pleasantly odd to "WTF? Ick!".

Not a good sign.

Luckily, the horrific after-taste of doom didn't last long. And to be honest, it could have been worse. The sad part is that is beer is incredibly mediocre, if anything, and if it has any claim to fame it's that it tastes somewhat strange and people with gluten allergies can drink it (major bonus).

I just wish it was better. Here's to hoping it improves, and I'm willing to give 'em another try in the future. Maybe we got a bad batch? Maybe they'll come out with a stout, porter or ale which is tasty? We'll see.

For more information on Bard's Tale Beer, and if you would like to see if your local booze-slinging grocer carries it, please check 'em out here.


Lethality: The party hears the siren song of the goblin infested cave and charges in with reckless abandon. The rogue says later on, after they've returned to the Inn for after-adventure drinks, that she's impressed it was only the bard who got torn to shreds. The rest of them had some close calls, but 3 out of 4 of them had made it. Maybe next time, thinks the mad goblin king.

Brothers in Arms #3

"Die waren meine freunde!"

You know, to be completely and unabashedly honest I thought this series was going to suck ass. I guess mainly because it's based on a video game. Most video game adaptations either a) suck ass or b) are neither bad nor good but merely passable.

I'm happy this comic is slightly above average in storytelling and art.

Brothers in Arms is the comic book version of the squad-based tactical game series of the same name from Gearbox Software. It's pretty straight-forward: WW2, squad of GIs killing Germans. Is there more to know?

Of course there is, or else the comic wouldn't be worth reading. And this is where this book shines. It gets into the background of the characters and explains things, like how one guy got his nasty facial scars in this issue. The story in #3 is told in two sets of flashbacks, one going back to where the scarred GI got his marks and the other time-jumping a bit with the combat story. Now, there was plenty of opportunity to seriously screw the whole story up with all the jumping around, but writers Mike Neumann and David Wohl are aces in pulling it off. They took something I normally hate and feel is totally over-done and make it work.

Nice job, fellas.

Davide Fabbri's art is nice and refreshing, I have to admit. It has an almost cartoonish quality which captures the spirit of the time-period in such a way that I don't think I've quite seen. Like the time jumping thing, it works. The best part is the combat scenes still come across as realistic and gritty, even though the art doesn't give that impression initially. I love being pleasantly surprised like this.

As for the overall package, this comic is a quick read-- and I don't mean this in a bad way. It's just very enjoyable and the time passes quickly while you're enjoying it. The pacing and dialogue are stellar and I really can't think of anything wrong with this title so far... other than it doesn't break any new ground. It's all stuff we've seen before. It's almost so World War II cliche it hurts So don't be expecting them to re-invent the jeep or anything.

The last page is killer, too. A real knock-out, it's one of my favourite issue-closers for the year, as it made me smile with the way it wraps the story up.

If you are looking to get your WW2 on, you can't do much better right now than this title. Give it a shot if you haven't already.

Oh, and the video game? It's a bitch, but it's worth every second I've played it.

Read more on the Brothers in Arms comic here.


Lethality: The 8 Kraut squad is caught completely unawares by the Amerikaner ambush! Six of them are mowed down in a machine gun rain. One crawls away with his guts hanging out, while another escapes on the wounded horse that was hauling the ammo boxes.

Movie Review: Darkon

“I’ve always felt like I was kind of born out of time.”

It's about time I do a short movie review on here, so here goes.

I've heard good things about Darkon, a documentary on Live Acrion Roleplayers (LARPers) released way back in the Year of Our Lord 2006. To be honest, I expected to not like it-- even though I spent a couple years in the SCA way back when. I just envisioned this over-the-top dork-fest that would make me to be embarrassed to be a gamer.

You know, like most LARPers.

Thankfully, the horror was not to be and I was pleasantly surprised and fascinated by this film. The premise is simple enough: The medieval-esque land of Darkon is in upheaval due to kingdoms vying to overthrow who they perceive as an evil empire. Except, Darkon is located in Baltimore, and the countries featured are just groups of people who meet up a couple times a month and dress up to battle it out and/or socialize. Sound retarded? Well, it isn't. In fact, I found it to be pretty damned cool. Sure, the people featured are classic gaming nerds, ones who wish to escape into a land of make-believe and craft some kick-ass costumes and armour in the time being.

Pretty much like any gamer, really... except they actually do it "off the table".

What's great about this movie is how it's presented. There is an overall story where the young country of Laconia seeks to challenge the hegemony of mighty Mordom. It's the fantasy LARP version of David and Goliath, actually. And it is compelling! It had me wishing there was a sequel after the exciting climatic boffer battle at the end. Interspersed with the main story are the players, who talk about their life, triumphs and a lot of woe. It's hard being a nerd, you see, and one of the primary protagonists, the fellow who leads Laconia, talks about how his family was tore up from shady sibling dealing over his late father's games empire. Talk about rough!

I could go on and on, but that would ruin this fine story for any of you who haven't seen it. The greatest strength of Darkon is how it's presented. There is no narration, only occasional explanatory words on the screen. This story is told from the view of the main characters, and it takes no sides. But if you're like me, you'll end up rooting for Laconia.

The cinematography is wonderful, with great accompanying sound to boot. Some of the people featured would make nice actors themselves and the mood in general is quite positive. It all made me wish there was a Darkon Wargaming Club here, where I live.

Get your copy and more info here.


Lethality: Throngs of screaming nerds armed with boffer swords, axes and hammers lightning bolt the living crap out of the party. No one survives... until next time. TPK in the extreme.

I Blame 40k

I was going to post a review today-- and maybe I still will before I go to bed later. But right now I'm getting ready to run an online game of Warhammer 40,000: Dark Heresy using a mix of Skype and OpenRPG. We'll see how it works oot!

I also spent some time today talking about the proper way Jesus should hate on the undead.


It's important, you know.

Zorro #6

"DIOS!"

Let me start off the quick review by saying this is my favourite version of Zorro so far. I've always liked the title character, so that's not saying past versions were terrible or anything; but Matt Wagner and Francesco Francavilla sure do execute a bang-up job. Mat Wagner Grendel fame heads this Zorro ship as writer and art director, while Francavilla, a talent I admire, lays down the illustrations. The result is pulpy Zorro goodness that should please long-time Zorro fans and newcomers alike.

The story strikes me as both simple and complex in that it never gets too messy and stays on a straight path, while occasionally flashing back to when Zorro was a boy with his "milk-brother" Bernardo.

Have I mentioned this issue has pirates? The fact that Wagner fit them in seamlessly fills me with glee.

Anyhow, yeah, so the story progresses as Zorro takes on the Spanish Man and his friend narrates the story (Bernardo doesn't speak, though). We get to find out this time around just how Zorro affords to be a kick-ass rogue for justice and get further proof Francavilla is a damned fine artist. The art kind of creeps into your heart and stays there, managing to fully capture the pulpy flavour of this kind of story while managing to sweep us off our feet with dashing adventure.

That's what this title is, pretty much: dashing and daring adventure. But maybe with a little bit of modern story-telling technique thrown in. Like the Lone Ranger book, this new Zorro is a little grittier than past incarnations.

Overall, Zorro #6 delivers a great tale of adventure, coming-of-age and discovery-- and TORNADO! YAY!! The flashbacks are handled nicely, and the dialogue crisp, and the exposition none-too-heavy. A lot of story is packed into these pages. If I have to dwell on anything bad, I guess it would be that some words are used often (I assume this is intentional) and Spanish words are scattered throughout, and French in one place to indicate the character is French, I suppose. These aren't bad things, really, as people tend to say many of the same things in real life (take me, for instance) and using some non-English words to create an air of authenticity is better than those "[*translated from blah blah]" boxes, yeah?

I just can't believe we're six issue in already. Six months have gone by... seriously? Time flies when a comic is kicking some ass.

Read more about Zorro #6 here.


Lethality: With a flick of the wrists, masked fox-people slaughter the 5-man party with ease. The ranger manages to flee, but he's never playing the fiddle again.