tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48618455735192649922024-03-13T20:40:33.277-07:00Diary of a GrognerdTotal. Blog. Kill.Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.comBlogger97125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-89585646276956369162012-07-29T14:50:00.001-07:002012-07-29T15:10:38.942-07:00The Rage of Ognark: Part ThreeAlright, this here is the usual disclaimer that these story bits are hilarious (to me, anyway) bizarro-type barbarian fantasy. Not for everyone. In fact, it might not be for <i>anyone</i>. If you get offended easily, think I have an agenda (I don't-- but still), take issue with "taboo subjects", or whatever, then Ognark is not for you. That said, I fully support your right to hate horrible shit for any reason you deem fit. I'm not saying "suck it up, snowflake" but "I respect your outlook; please respect my right to write terrible things". Saying "That Said", I don't think any of this is all that "Bad". But your mileage, as always, may vary.<br />
<br />
I like to think that <i>The Rage of Ognark</i> incorporates influences from <i>Monty Python</i>, <i>Red Dwarf</i>, <i>Blackadde</i>r, <i>The Human Centipede</i>, <i>Brazil</i>, <i>Caligula</i>, <i>Conan</i>, <i>Thrud the Barbarian</i>, <i>Gor</i>, <i>Ass Goblins of Auschwitz</i>, <i>Slaughterhouse 5</i>, <i>Mother Night</i>, <i>The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy</i>, <i>AD&D</i>, <i>FATAL</i>, and a bunch of other awesome and horrible things. Some of it isn't even my cup of terribad tea, but it's still influential for me. <br />
<br />
Oh, who am I kidding? I think <i>Gor</i> and <i>The Human Centipede</i> are the only things on that list that I didn't enjoy in some way, and <i>Centipede</i> only because I actually have never seen it. Okay, and I'll give you that <i>Caligula</i> is murderfacingly overrated poop.<br />
<br />
I would like to dedicate this part to my buddy Aaron, whose birthday it is today. Happy birthday, kid! Here's some Ognark for you. I think you'll dig it.<br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://grognerd.blogspot.ca/2012/07/the-rage-of-ognark-part-one.html">Read Part I HERE</a></b><br />
<b><a href="http://grognerd.blogspot.ca/2012/07/the-rage-of-ognark-part-two.html">Read Part II HERE</a></b><br />
<br />
---<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>THE RAGE OF OGNARK: Part III</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Dirge of the Dirigibles<b> </b></i>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By S.G. Saunders</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
[<i>Now, this excerpt pulled from the painfully incomplete
texts, now called the RCO-01, seems to link closely—linearly speaking—to that
last excerpt in what is now called the RCO-01 Sequence. Hopefully I can…
massage a better designation out of an eager student soon. Perhaps Fabio
Thurderstromklien...</i>--Perseus Fractalthorpe Benzene IV, associate professor <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placetype w:st="on">University</st1:placetype> of <st1:placename w:st="on">Doron</st1:placename></st1:place>, Nova Texum]<br />
<br /></div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“WOT ARE YOU DOING, YE DAFT CUNT!?”<br />
<br />
Ognark could barely hear Doctor Steelstormface Esquire, the strangely dressed
man with the goggles whose airship Ognark was now in. And aside from that being
unnecessarily too long of a sentence, saying “in” is a little awkward, since it
was more like “being in a basket suspended from a large, oblong thing full of
fart-gas or something incredibly flammable, or so Steelstormface had said”.<br />
<br />
Then Ognark of Yonder Waystes wondered… in the last town he was in, why was
there a market square <i>outside</i> of the
city walls? And was it a town or a city? Just what is the difference between
the two? A <i>city</i> is bigger than a <i>town</i>, right? A which point does one use
terms like “hamlet”, “thorp”, “village” and “murder home”? These sorts of
questions tended to creep up on Ognark like a stealthy Malalian Yak; and milk
him of his thoughts that creepy mind-yak sure did…<br />
<br />
“OGNARK! YE BASTARD! HELP ME UP OR—AHHHHH!!! I’M GUNNA DIE, MAN!!! HEEELLLP
MEEEEE!!!”<br />
<br />
Our large barbarian hero placed his hand by his square chin, as if we are
watching him right now, with Ognark deep in self-reflecting thought.<br />
<br />
Was killing everyone in that market square wrong? Perhaps if he mentally placed
a tavern around the market square… yes, perhaps <i>then</i> it would make more sense. Perhaps.<br />
<br />
“Doctor Esquire, I require time to think. You are making the wind silent with
your screams.”<br />
<br />
Ognark Thistlespoon fashioned himself to be a bit of a philosopher savage.<br />
<br />
Doctor Steelstormface Esquire hollered unintelligibly some more. Ognark tried
his best to tune him out. The strange little be-goggled motherfucker just didn’t
shut up, you know? He yabbled on and on. He talked about airships. He talked
about vintage leather clothing. Hell, vintage clothing? What does “vintage”
even mean? Steelstormface also talked about everything in “punk” terms. His
weird horse thing that he also talks a lot about runs on steam, so that horse
is of “coalpunk” and “enginepunk” technology. The airship is a dirig…dirigible?
The dirigible is “Luftpunk”. This all confused Ognark greatly, as “punk” means
a dry wood used to start fires. “Punk” could also mean that you are in great
danger if someone calls you that whilst in a dungeon. This be-goggled man
annoyed Ognark greatly. Ognark’s renowned patience was running thin.<br />
<br />
“PLEASE HELP ME UP!”<br />
<br />
Ognark helped Steelstormface up back into the basket thing. They were high in
the sky… many lengths of tall men, to be sure.<br />
<br />
“We are up high, Doctor,” said Ognark.<br />
<br />
“Yes, lad,” he replied, frantically patting himself for some reason, “Why did
you let me hang there for so long?”<br />
<br />
Ognark looked around, “Is this… airship hard to put back on the ground?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Of course it is, you big lug. And don’t even think of
asking me if you can learn how to fly <i>Mistress
Abney Palmer</i> again… that’s how I almost fell out!”<br />
<br />
“<i>Mistress Abney Palmer?</i>”<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doctor Steelstormface Esquire looked like he was going to
have a stroke. He rolled his eyes-- and Ognark despised people who rolled their
eyes.<br />
<br />
“Ognark, you daft fuck, that’s the name of my airship. I’ve already told ye
that, what, six times now?”<br />
<br />
Five times. Ognark was counting. Steelstormface continued to fume. Ognark had
tuned him out for a few moments. He thought of pleasant things… like
butterflies and how they must make screaming noises you cannot hear when you
pull their wings off; like desert foxes, who look at you so, so innocently as
you politely explain to them that they are being turned into fur coats.<br />
<br />
And then Ognark noticed the meat flaps, on the face of a man with strange
facial hair, moving up and down. Up and down. Warm air being pushed through a
meat hole.<br />
<br />
This punkman may be worse than any Rape Gnome, or even a dreaded Dire
Gazebozelle, or rightly feared Soul Gargler.<br />
<br />
“…well, what do you have to say for yourself?”<br />
<br />
Ognark simply shrugged.<br />
<br />
“I’ll figure it out.”<br />
<br />
“You’ll figure <i>what</i> out you fucking
oversized moron bastard—HEY!”<br />
<br />
Ognark grabbed Steelstormface’s goggles. The little punkman was weak and small,
and so it was easy to tear off the goggles and wrap them around his punkneck.
But first, Ognark decided he would tear off Steelstormface’s funny moustache
and teeny, dwarf-woman beard.<br />
<br />
Doctor Steelstormface Esquire screamed. It was music to Ognark’s ears. Music
that didn’t suck. Blood began oozing out of the annoying man’s face. His eyes
bulged as Ognark wrapped and squeezed. The glass in the goggles broke and was promptly
pushed into Steelstormface’s throat. He looked to Ognark, his terrified eyes
full of the knowledge that he was most certainly doomed.<br />
<br />
<i>Doompunked</i>, thought Ognark.<br />
<br />
Steelstormface tried to pry Ognark’s mighty, meaty fist-hammer from him, but to
no avail. If he wasn’t being choked, he could have easily convinced Ognark that
he was a petty excuse of flesh and weak and sad about something, like a woman
leaving him for another man with fancier clothes. But this is probably why
Ognark went for his throat first. That is where the “talky spirits” lived.
Ognark must kill them all.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wasn’t he supposed to be looking for poison goats? <i>Ugh</i>, our mighty pile of muscles thought,
<i>I am severely lurking in focus and
organizational skills</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Lacking</i>. <i>Whatever, you damned mind-thing</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Within seconds, Doctor Steelstormface’s talky spirits had
been shushed on a permanent basis. Ognark could still feel his Rage growing.<br />
<br />
“Come now, you esquirey, stringy, limp piece of fuck-shit! Let’s see how YOU
land.”<br />
<br />
And so Ognark threw his former comradepunk out of the basket place thing. If
the poor, unfortunate and funnily-dressed man had survived the meaty
barbarian’s assault with his mighty meat-hammer fists and god-killing grip,
then he would most likely die on impact a few moments later.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ognark looked around to find what Steelstormface had called
a “spyglass”. Ah, there it was. Ognark put to his right eye and quickly tried
to see where the Doctor was… and was amazed that he was easily spotted due to
all the frenzied writhing he was doing in midair. Ognark lost sight of him as
he fell into some trees. <br />
<br />
Wait. Trees? Shit, this meant they had gone farther than Steelstormface had
said! There were no poison goats to be had in the woods. Ah, perhaps this was
why Steelstormface insisted on doing most of the journey above the low-hanging
clouds, citing excuses like “safety” and “navigation”. He also has spoke of
needing to be higher up for his astro… laid? Lame? Laybe? Something like that.
Something about his astrolaything working better when he could see the stars at
night.<br />
<br />
Now, how the tears of countless dead babies could help you find anything,
anything at all in the world, baffled Ognark, but Steelstormface seemed to know
what he was talking about.<br />
<br />
Unless he didn’t. That is entirely possible. Anything is possible, including, but not limited to, quickly aged cheese that is safe to eat.<br />
<br />
Ah, Ognark hungered so. He had forgotten to save the Doctor’s body for some
vittle-snacks. All that was left to eat on the Mistress Abney Palmer were
crackers and dried vegetables. And rice. Was it rice? Whatever it was, Ognark
promised himself that he would immediately disembowel any travelling companions
in the future who claimed to be a part of some cult that worships a god called
“Vegetarian”.<br />
<br />
Ognark needed to land the airship. He looked up at the gas-filled bladder thing
suspended above him. He seemed to recall Steelstormface pulling on some ropes.
He did so, and the airship lowered a bit. Ognark shrugged and tore off the
javelin launcher that was attached to the side of the area he was in.<br />
<br />
He pulled on the ropes again. And again. Ognark looked over the safe. Lots of
tress. He was still pretty high up, but the gas should release faster—but not <i>too</i> fast, as that would mean falling to
his death.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ognark launched a javelin into the airship’s float bladder.<br />
<br />
He hadn’t been told that the javelins were explosive. The gas inside of the
bladder was explosive, too.<br />
<br />
The <i>Mistress Abney Palmer</i> engulfed almost entirely in flames, she plunged to the
forest below. Ognark just smiled. He wasn’t on fire yet. He may survive the
rapidly impending doom that was spelled “Airship Disaster”.<br />
<br />
There’s always a bright side, you see.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
***</div>Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-12133068722994312622012-07-28T10:00:00.000-07:002012-07-28T10:58:19.546-07:00The Rage of Ognark: Part TwoSo, hey, here's part two of "The Rage of Ognark". I hope there will be a part three soon... but you never know. I have shit to do, shit to get done, and shit to be paid for, hopefully. Christ, I still need to shave! Do you know how long I can go without shaving? My fingernails are even too long at this point. I'm going to start saving my urine in milk bottles, you just wait. The worst part is actually finding milk bottles.<br />
<br />
Before you get to reading, you need to know that this crap is <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bizarro_fiction">bizarro fiction</a>, or my take on bizarro, anyway. It's about a crazy barbarian and the story is completely absurd. Thing is, while it's absurd, it's also totally not for kids. Like, if, <i>Red Dwarf</i>, <i>The Human Centipede</i> and <i>Caligula</i> all had a baby. I strive to be funny, but you may not find it funny. And that's cool. I will not mock your "delicate sensibilities". It's your life, after all, and I respect that.<br />
<br />
I suppose if "rape gnomes" bothers you for any reason, stop reading right now. Check out my reviews or whatever, maybe. Avoid anything that says "Ognark". I write these prefaces (pre-feces? Hmmm) for you, dear readers. I know that some of you can be touchy about some things. Like I said: I respect that.<br />
<br />
For the rest of you terribly twisted sick fucks: Enjoy?<br />
<br />
As always, I love feedback. Let me know what you think of this terrible shit.<br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>THE RAGE OF OGNARK:
Part II<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Narkpunk<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By S.G. Saunders</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[<i>The excerpt continues
following a chunk that appears to be missing. Information as to what cataclysm
befell LZ-486c is still under investigation</i>-- Perseus Fractalthorpe Benzene
IV, associate professor <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placetype w:st="on">University</st1:placetype>
of <st1:placename w:st="on">Doron</st1:placename></st1:place>, Nova Texum]</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
--to which Mighty Ognark Thistlespoon of Yonder Waystes
said, “I have no squirrel testicle sacks to trade, good madam. This here Ognark
can go on no further unless he caresses one boob, at least.”<br />
<br />
The Head Mistress of the Vorhees Haus of Pleasures simply sighed. She had dealt
with this type before. Large, brutish barbarian types, who had nothing more to
offer than a very large member. Most wielded said member like an unwieldy club.<br />
<br />
“Fine. I’ll tell you what: You get me the venom-sacs from a poison goat, and I
will accept that in Lay-Trade. Understand?”<br />
<br />
Ognark understood.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It meant that he, of some tribe of he’s from Yonder Hills
and Plains, would have his Lay-Quota filled for hours. Perhaps days. Okay, two
days—but that’s not bad, really.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“May I feel boob for goodish luck?”<br />
<br />
“Sure.”<br />
<br />
Minutes later, after a goodish boob-rubbing, Ognark rejoined his life into
Yonder Waystes and began trudging. And trudge he did… north… where the poison
goat pickings were best.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ognark HAD to remember not to eat the poison goats. Last
time he had poison goats he fucked up and ate the beasts before he could turn
them in for Better Food. This time it’s even more important. This time Ognark
needed more boobies. This time Ognark needed a young woman—one who is willing—to
spread her legs around his face and—</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How long had Ognark been walking?, Ognark wondered. His
thoughts had wandered, and thinking of women always made him think long and
very hard. These things are tough, you see, as Ognark is a very visual thinker
and he must make sure every detail is perfect.<br />
<br />
Ognark is nothing if not a perfectionist.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ognark was wondering what perfection tasted like when
something had caught his attention. This was no mean feat, as hunting poison
goats and blocking out things like deep thoughts was supposed to be hard or
time consuming or something. But anyways, something was making noises further
to the north. Banging noises. Evening was approaching, and Ognark, while not
wanting to waste all these hours wasted in the Waystes, was curious to know
about the banging noises and where they were coming from.<br />
<br />
What was Ognark thinking about?<br />
<br />
It doesn't matter. He’d figure that shit out as soon as he got to where he
think he was going or needed to be… if he needed to be someplace. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Eventually, Ognark saw something. It was a large carriage
thing that looked like it was attached to a huge squishy egg. That huge squishy
egg looked like it might have been full of air—or farts!—it certainly smelled
like farts, Ognark mentally noted.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By this Thing was some man dressed all funny-like in
leathers and wearing stupid things over his eyes tinkering around on it. The
man reminded Ognark of the Rape Gnomes of Zurnch, so now Ognark was a little
wary.<br />
<br />
Rape Gnomes are badass and they rape you. <br />
<br />
You probably know this already.<br />
<br />
Before Ognark could fully decide how he was going to kill the funny-like man,
the funny-like man spotted the hulking brute who is the hero of our story. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hoy, yew there! Come on over, then, I’s won’t hurt ye—I
means no ‘arm.”<br />
<br />
What the fuck was this ponce saying? Well, Ognark approached, regardless.<br />
<br />
“Who are you? And have you seen any poison goats? Answer me, for Ognark’s need
is great.”<br />
<br />
The man smiled, “I see. Uh, no poison goats here, mate. My name is Doctor
Steelstormface Esquire,” he started walking towards Ognark, “and it’s a
pleasure to make your acquaintance.” He extended his right hand when he got to
our hero.<br />
<br />
It took Ognark a moment or three before he realized that this… Face Doctor?
Wasn’t offering himself up to Ognark as a meal.<br />
<br />
Disappointing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ognark took the Face Doctor’s hand.<br />
<br />
“So,” Ognark slowly started, “You are a doctor of faces… and you… sing in a
choir?”<br />
<br />
“Wot? No, no, no, mate. I’m an airship cap’n. I ride the skies in search of
ahvencha.”<br />
<br />
“What?”<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Avencha… er, adventure.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The funny looking man smiled.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are you a Rape Gnome, sir?”<br />
<br />
The funny looking man coughed, “Uhm, wot? No, I believe I am not a gnome, my
friend.”<br />
<br />
“A Rape… Gnome. And friend? Rape Gnomes like to say that sort of thing. That
they are your friend. Or wife. Or overly promiscuous friend of an old war
buddy. Rape Gnomes are very decep—decep—very tricky.”<br />
<br />
“Look, mate, I am not one of these ‘Rape Gnomes’ you keep jawing on about--
alright? You haven’t suffered from too much sun? A head wound I can’t see,
perhaps?”<br />
<br />
Ognark exhaled satisfactorily. There was no raping from terrible Rape Gnomes
tonight, then. <br />
<br />
“What are those weirdish things on your face, Singing Face Doctor?”<br />
<br />
The man just sighed, “Singing Face… Right, so these are called goggles.”<br />
<br />
“…I…see… and what do they do?”<br />
<br />
“They allow me to see things without getting dust or bugs in my eyes whilst I
pilot the Big Bird, ye ken?”<br />
<br />
“Who’s Ken? Are you Ken?”<br />
<br />
“No, I mean, do you understand… what is you name, by the by?”<br />
<br />
Ognark beamed. “Please excuse my manners, Doctor. I am Ognark Thistlespoon,
Mighty Marauder of the Yonder Waystes,” Ognark was pleased he had learned to
introduce himself so well. Of course, Ognark still wondered if this Doctor
Steelstormface was actually a Rape Gnome and just what the hell “esquiring”
something could mean.<br />
<br />
Was to esquire something to… bugger it like a Rape Gnome would? Those beasts
were tricky. Oh, sure, at first they would be all fine and nice with
compliments, and apologize for their kind—you know, the ones who end up raping
people—but then they would lure you into a false sense of security. Usually
with candy. Ognark loved candy. <br />
<br />
Candy will never taste as sweet as it once did to poor Ognark.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“’Scuse me, guv, you somewhere else?”<br />
<br />
Ognark had been staring at the Doctor. For how long? Ognark did not know. All
he knew was that he should have deep suspicions concerning this man. While the
Doctor was probably not a Rape Gnome, he could be in their employ. Those
Gnomes: Tricky.<br />
<br />
The whole “tricky” thing cannot be stressed enough.<br />
<br />
“So,” Steelstormface said, “Would you like a ride in me airship?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ognark thought for a minute. Hmmm… To ride in this… airship…
It would be fun. A lark. A hoot. A… an airship.<br />
<br />
“I am scared of heights.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I see,” said the Doctor, “Well it’s quite safe, boyo.”<br />
<br />
“Safer than a Vergontorpatersaur? Because one of those threw me. Hurt me bad.
Been afraid of heights ever since.”<br />
<br />
Doctor Steelstormface Esquire blinked. He took in a deep breath, “Look, Ognark,
this is not a living animal. I can control it. It is perfectly airworthy,
airsafe, and you will be rather comfy as we glide along the air at fast, but
safe, speeds. Ye ken?”<br />
<br />
Ognark furrowed his brow, “It’s not living?”<br />
<br />
“No.”<br />
<br />
The large barbarian of Yonder Waystes heartily laughed as he started toward the
craft, patting Steelstormface on the shoulder.<br />
<br />
The Doctor sighed relief, “There ye go, lad, that’s not so bad, eh?”<br />
<br />
“No. Ognark is safe from being raped by a large flying animal.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our hero boarded the strange craft, noting that the
fart-smell was coming from Steelstormface and not the airship…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
***</div>Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-44814588902135847812012-07-27T14:39:00.000-07:002012-07-27T14:46:19.256-07:00The Rage of Ognark: Part OneHello there! It's been a while, but I've been soooo soooo busy. I really should be getting back to this project I'm working on, actually, before I am beaten with sticks. But I figured I'd post this first. See, a couple years ago I wrote a very, very short bit called "The Rage of Ognark", which was intended to be the start of stories parodying Conan, Thrud, and stuff like that... However, I lost interest, got distracted, etc etc, and I never followed up on the 600+ word piece. Flash forward to recently. I have started getting more interested in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bizarro_fiction">bizarro fiction</a>, so I thought I'd write Ognark bits in that style (and rewrite the first bit a little, expanding it to 1000+ words). If you know anything-- anything at all-- about bizarro fiction, you will know that Ognark stories just may not be for you. It's supposed to be silly, but "The Rage of Ognark" will be no doubt offensive and squicky to some. Perhaps many. Then again, if you know who I am and read my things on occasion, then you will know that while I'm a pretty nice guy, I have a really bleak sense of gallows humor and enjoy nasty jokes. So, yeah, this story is not for kids. And you may not want people reading it over your shoulder at work.<br />
<br />
Anyway, your feedback is appreciated. Keep in mind that this is all done on a lark, and when I feel like it. I would love critical feedback, but I'm also not very serious about this stuff (so, feel free to let the love/hate/tacos flow).<br />
<br />
And 'ere we go, 'ere we go! (Part II will be up soon, as it's already done. Yay?)<br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
<b>THE RAGE OF OGNARK: Part I</b><br />
<i>The Fruits of One's Labors</i><br />
By S. G. Saunders<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA">[<i>This
excerpt of something probably most horrible was found by Imperial
archaeologists studying the now-dead world LZ-486c. Numerous translations have
yielded only this result. More research is currently underway. As for the
terrible fate that befell LZ-486c… that information is unknown at this time.</i>
– Perseus Fractalthorpe Benzene IV, associate professor <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placetype w:st="on">University</st1:placetype> of <st1:placename w:st="on">Doron</st1:placename></st1:place>,
Nova Texum]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA">Ognark viewed the scene before him. <br />
<br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA">Carnage. <br />
<br />
Absolute carnage. <br />
<br />
Ognark thought of what he’d had to do to survive, he thought of his family and
friends-- he thought of home. But not his home, nor his friends, nor his family
could help him. No, all they would be is a carnage ridden mess if they'd been
there. Ognark Thistlespoon let loose a low whistle. He was actually rather
impressed with himself. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA">Ognark was impressed that he then
remembered that any friends and family he once had were dead, many by his own
hand.<br />
<br />
Normally, it was unfortunate tavern patrons across the <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placetype w:st="on">land</st1:placetype> of <st1:placename w:st="on">Evarmoore</st1:placename></st1:place>
who would fall to Ognark’s mighty blade, wielded by his mighty arms which ended
in mighty fists. Normally, there would be a maiden or two left over-- bar
wenches, perhaps-- who would yell things like "ra-pree-shus swine!" at
him, expecting a child of Yonder Waystes to understand any of that nonsense.
But this time... this time was different. <br />
<br />
<i>What</i> was different, exactly? <br />
<br />
Ognark thought for a moment. Well, for one thing, the gentlemen at his feet had
been killed with one of those stick things that held up a kiosk awning thing.
Ognark had not expected some random person in the <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placename w:st="on">Market</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st="on">Plaza</st1:placetype></st1:place>
to be so daft-- or was it deft?-- at removing his mighty blade from his
mighty fists. That fellow probably didn't expect the blade to instantly kill a
near-by mule, but Ognark was digressing a bit. He was then distracted by the
cobblestones and how all the blood--so much blood-- flowed between them. <br />
<br />
So much beautiful blood.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA">The mighty bipedal mass of meat thought
again. How many people had he killed? He tried counting a few times.
One, two, three... fifteen, sixteen... twenty, twenty-one?-- it had to be
scores. Ognark had trouble counting past the twenties, anyway. He didn't know
what a score was, really, or how many victims that could represent; but Ognark
was quite sure scores of foes littered the plaza. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA">At this moment, the morose silence was
abruptly shattered.<br />
<br />
"Hoy! What is the Seven Hells has happened here? By Flurgstein's enormous
balls, this is madness!! You! You there! What has transpired here?"<br />
<br />
Ognark saw a man dressed in what he believed to be the city’s garish colors
yelling to him. The man had black hair, dark eyes and lots of facial hair,
which was also black. Ognark decided to quit noticing him, because unless he
was slaying him or loving him, he cared not for such trivial details.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA">Or entrails. Entrails are tasty if fried up
right.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA">Ognark felt hungry all of a sudden.<br />
<br />
"Trans... pired?" Ognark let the words flow slowly from his mighty
jaws, "I don't think weather has much to do with this, friend."<br />
<br />
The man screwed his face into an expression of sincere confusion. "WHAT?
Who are you, sir? From whence do you hail? And what manner of creature was
responsible for this slaughter?"<br />
<br />
Ognark took in a deep breath. He then spied another dead body, this one covered
in pieces of various fruits. <i>Ah, that's
right</i>, he mulled (or is it <i>muled</i>?).
He had killed that particular fellow with the contents of a fruit cart.<br />
<br />
His voice now a proud growl, Ognark spoke. "I would be that port-icular manner
of creature, sirrah. 'Tis me who purpose-trated this righteous fury."<br />
<br />
The man looked ill. He seemed to be trying to catch his breath.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA">Men who looked like this, Ognark thought,
should be put to death for the good of the women who will avoid them anyway.<br />
<br />
Ognark continued. "I pray fear you are next, for mighty Ognark
Thistlespoon of Yonder Waystes will suffer no fools... uh, fool."<br />
<br />
The man whimpered. "But... but why?"<br />
<br />
"Because ‘fool’ is all I can think of—Oh, uh, prices," Ognark huffed,
moving his long, jet black hair from his mighty face with a mighty hand,
"Now be a nice man and fetch me my axe. It's over there... in that rather
portly fellow's chest."<br />
<br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA">The man dressed in the city’s garish colors
promptly fainted.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA">“Useless,” Ognark muttered. People dressed
as guards, or watchmen, or guards usually tended to be useless. Bribeable,
sure, which made them slightly more useful when he needed to get in to places
unnoticed, or hide in whorehouses, or to pay them to look the other way…<br />
<br />
Ognark placed some coins in the trousers of the city guard (if that’s what he
was). It was time to get going, and Ognark grabbed a nearby cart and started
filling it with corpses. Finally, after a few minutes, locals began to show
their faces, feeling safer in the fact that they could see what’s going on
without losing said faces.<br />
<br />
The barbarian looked around, made eye-contact with a few of those horrified
faces and he smiled. He couldn’t really recall why he murdered all of those
people. Was it a price issue? Did one of them aggress him? Hmmm… think to think
about.<br />
<br />
One thing was for sure. It was best to just slit the guard’s throat. The gold
was left in his trousers… for the man’s family, if he had one. That was the
right thing to do. Now Ognark had to leave this city, whatever it was called…
he counted his blessings that everything occurred just outside the walls in the
open market. He hated it when things got complicated and lead to putting yet
another settlement on the list of places to avoid for awhile.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA">His mighty face let loose a mighty grin…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA"><br />
Once a mercenary captain he worked with, and eventually decapitated, told him
that “it’s always best to look on the bright side of things”. Of course, the
captain had said it when his head was still attached. His head didn’t say much
after it was cut off, but once it was placed into a small burlap sack, local
children seemed to enjoy playing games with it. <br />
<br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA">Our hero, heeding this dead decapitated
mercenary captain’s words, continued to grin as he ventured back into the
Wilderness. The cart creaked and the captured mules made unhappy noises. But
Ognark didn’t care.<br />
<br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA">He now had meals and trade goods for his long
and hunger-inducing journey. <br /><br />***<br />
<br />
</span></div>
<br />Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-51711388103495124042012-05-05T13:00:00.000-07:002012-05-05T15:08:04.456-07:00Valiant Returns!! X-O Manowar #1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WRSGAw9fIyg/T6WDeIDhmfI/AAAAAAAAAkk/fuGeEMFWX8E/s1600/XO_Manowar_cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WRSGAw9fIyg/T6WDeIDhmfI/AAAAAAAAAkk/fuGeEMFWX8E/s200/XO_Manowar_cover.jpg" width="129" /></a></div>
Important Details to get out of the way first--<br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://valiantuniverse.com/comics/x-o-manowar/x-o-manowar-1/">X-O Manowar #1</a></b><br />
Publisher: <b><a href="http://valiantuniverse.com/">Valiant Entertainment</a></b><br />
Writing: <b>Robert Venditti
</b><br />
Pencils: <b>Cary Nord</b><br />
Inks: <b>Stefano Gaudiano</b><br />
Colors: <b>Moose Baumann</b><br />
Cover Art By: <b>Esad Ribic</b>, <b>Cary Nord</b>, <b>David Aja</b>, and <b>Jelena Kevic-Djurdjevic</b><br />
Editing (he's <i>essential</i>): <b>Warren Simons</b><br />
<br />
There we go.<br />
<br />
Due to a variety of reasons, I can't make it to the Free Comic Book Day festivities today. So I figure I might as well post a comic book "review". That should cover for my long Grognerdy absence, eh?<br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valiant_Comics">Valiant Comics</a></b> was an important part of my latter youth. They and the <b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epic_comics">Epic</a></b> imprint really did a lot to change my perspective on how comics are made, marketed, and enjoyed. There's more to be said there, and there are many more comic book obsessed people who are infinitely more qualified than I am to get into it. But Valiant hasn't been around for a long, long time...<br />
<br />
...And they return with an epic smash-fist of a goddamned great comic. Just insert a whole bunch of needless hyperbole right here, alright? The truth is that this is an excellent tale of the sequential art persuasion. <b>Cary Nord</b>'s art is only magnified by <b>Gaudiano</b> and <b>Baumann</b>'s efforts, and Nord knocks it out of the park. So, yeah, the art is awesome. I loved it. I think there's a panel or two where I was, like, "Hmmm", but it doesn't matter. I can't take art THAT seriously. All I really give a fuck about is "Is it rad?"; and the answer to that, my friends, is "CROM, YES". Nord brings the same game he brought to Conan, and it really shows and shows hard.<br />
<br />
Then there's the writing and story. Right, so <b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X-O_Manowar">X-O Manowar back in the 90s can be looked up here</a></b>. Read that? No? Well, the main character is a Visigoth* dude named Aric. He's from 5th century <b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dacia">Dacia</a></b>. I cannot tell you how many history boners I have seeing "Dacia" in comic books. There's Romans, too, and Aric fucks their shit up hardcore. But all is for naught, as the Romans are a murderlicious beat-down machine. Don't worry, though, <b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alaric_I">Alaric</a></b>, who makes an appearance (perhaps there to increase the enormity of my nerd -boner zeppelin fleet), will beat the fucking hell out of Rome and even sack their ass.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(*Think a people comprised of angry historical <b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goths">Goths</a></b>, not an army of arthouse types who look like Robert Smith or Christian Death. Or Lycia and the Virgin Prunes. See? I know my goth shit, yo.) </span><br />
<br />
Take <i>that</i>, you Roman dicks.<br />
<br />
Anyways, Aric bumps into these aliens who call themselves The Vine and gets abducted. There's this suit of armor that they have and no one can wear, but then Aric shows up and plans his escape right away... and you can see where this is all going. It's Spartacus meets Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon. Except instead of some raging pussy* from America (or Britain, for you fellow Dan Dare fans), he's a Dacian Visigoth Asshander. Space Spartacus is gonna fight the Space Romans. It's pretty freaking sweet, actually. This first issue is all set-up and leaves things ready to jam into high gear come #2. I'm already excited for it.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(*Comparatively. And apologies to any women's groups offended.) </span><br />
<br />
Now, for you fellow History Geeks, don't expect the history shown to be perfect, but kudos to <b>Robert Venditti</b> for going the extra mile for verisimilitude's sake (onagers!). Also, it's a rip-roaring tale which makes me fall in love with comics all over again. This is why I read comic books, goddammit. I just hope they can keep the awesome up as the story progresses. Massive high-fives and salutants to Mr. Venditti.<br />
<br />
To the crew of <i><b>X-O Manowar</b></i>: <i><b>VICTORIA! VICTORIA! Per aspera ad astra!</b></i><br />
<br />
One final note: I hope Valiant doesn't mind, but I had to find an image of this and post it in this write-up. It is my favorite part of the comic and shows just how committed these guys are to telling a great story.<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9ZjAC6q0Q8s/T6WEFThj-yI/AAAAAAAAAkw/b9Gp2M39BAw/s1600/XO_manowar_pg1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9ZjAC6q0Q8s/T6WEFThj-yI/AAAAAAAAAkw/b9Gp2M39BAw/s320/XO_manowar_pg1.jpg" width="208" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just click on it already!!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Dude. I about crapped myself with glee.<br />
<br />
Nutshell: If you love pulp action, history, sci-fi laser stuff, aliens, and an overall epic feel to things, buy the hell out of <i><b>X-O Manowar</b></i>. Lovers of European historical fantasy, <i>Heavy Metal</i>, <i>2000 AD</i>, Marvel and DC's cosmic material (that's you, Jim Starlin and Abnett & Lanning fanbeings), and role-playing nerds will all find this right up their respective tears-of-joy alleys.<br />
<br />
<b>Lethality</b>: TOTALIS LEGIO MORTEM.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Wow, I really gushed, didn't I? I suppose it's been awhile since I read a comic I enjoyed this much. Other may not be so forgiving or kind, but I don't care. I will read this comic as long as it remains this cool.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-56535432530541510702012-02-09T00:21:00.000-08:002012-02-09T01:08:11.478-08:00Midnight Mini pr0n: Beautiful Warfare, IndeedHowdy, folks! I've been recovering from <b><a href="http://www.gottacon.com/">GottaCon</a></b>, and am finally going through pictures and such, fighting the dreaded Confluenza Convergiftung (in other words, con-crud). The first thing I wanted to do is a slightly past <b>Midnight Mini pr0n</b> featuring a young gentleman who is one of the most kick-ass miniature painters I've seen in quite a while.<br />
<br />
Now, my pictures were taken with my Blackberry Playbook, which means they're not the greatest pics-- so I may be doing Kurt a disservice here. If so, I'm terribly sorry, man.<br />
<br />
Anyhow, let's feast our eyes on what I'm sure is the first video I've posted on <b>Diary of a Grognerd</b>. And you know what? This is the only video I thought of to take at GottaCon. Funny that.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/dwvXTnR6N5w?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
Hey, I'm a writer, not a videographer, okay?<br />
(Update: I think that YouTube provides a better video thing than Blogspot... so I switched them oot.)<br />
<br />
And here's a few pictures...<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wXRnjQMYWyA/TzN9r9_it2I/AAAAAAAAAiM/9iv35T0j0Nc/s1600/LotD_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wXRnjQMYWyA/TzN9r9_it2I/AAAAAAAAAiM/9iv35T0j0Nc/s320/LotD_1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I sharpened it a little. Should be a bit less horrible a pic...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
As you can see, these are <b><a href="http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Legion_of_the_Damned#.TzN8kcVAbgU">Legion of the Damned</a></b> space marines from <b>Warhammer 40k</b>. Probably my fave space marines. I mean, who can dislike evil looking rockabilly Adeptus Astartes who are like undead Angels of Death?<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-h2QcXGKMpEI/TzN9PHN_ukI/AAAAAAAAAiE/173K-Q3-6E8/s1600/lotd_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-h2QcXGKMpEI/TzN9PHN_ukI/AAAAAAAAAiE/173K-Q3-6E8/s320/lotd_2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Those guys? Badasses painted by a badass.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-03SY7eK_B18/TzN-mTz9CjI/AAAAAAAAAiU/_Rp5pvDbf5o/s1600/lotd_3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-03SY7eK_B18/TzN-mTz9CjI/AAAAAAAAAiU/_Rp5pvDbf5o/s320/lotd_3.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I really wish I could catch the badassness better.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
As you can no doubt tell, I took the pictures at the t-shirt booth I was working. Oh, the humanity.<br />
<br />
In case you didn't pick it up from the video, Kurt and a buddy have started a mini-painting outfit called <b>BEAUTIFUL WARFARE</b>. If you live in or around the Vancouver, BC area, they would be happy to help you with your miniature painting needs. I believe Kurt told me they charge around $12 an hour. Trust me when I say it's worth every penny.<br />
<br />
This brings me to: Should you get people to paint your dudes for you? Well, when I was waaay younger, I would let people pay me to paint their figs*. I was no where near the level of Kurt, but it did help me pay for more cultists, daemons and Imperial Guard. I personally encourage Wargamer <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strategos">Stategoi</a> to paint their own troops, but sometimes you want to have an awesome looking squad or personality figure. And let's face it: Few of us are astounding painters like Archmagos deGraaf. There is absolutely no shame in paying someone skilled and talented to make your dudes look badass. It's your money and miniatures, after all.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(*Not a euphemism.)</span>
<br />
<br />
If you are in need of the services of BEAUTIFUL WARFARE, <strike>I'm afraid you'll have to contact Kurt through Facebook for right now. It's a really good thing he has a distinct name, eh? I'll update this entry when he has a website to direct you to</strike>. Ah here we go. <b><a href="http://www.beautifulwarfare.ca/">Information for contacting them is here</a></b>.<br />
<br />
I sincerely hope you've enjoyed this installment of the pr0n! I should be slowly posting GottaCon posts starting tomorrow. I may even have a goal to put something in this blog at least once a day. We'll see how that goes.<br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
Feel free to comment below! <a href="mailto:synabetic@gmail.com">Or email me</a>.Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-49718094682416339162012-02-05T00:33:00.000-08:002012-02-05T00:34:40.937-08:00Midnight Mini pr0n: Metzner's Magnificent Madness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Okay, I'm going to be short, to the point, and assailing you with many pictures. See, <a href="http://www.gottacon.com/"><b>GottaCon</b></a> is going on right now, and I need to get up to work a booth and be on a panel concerning GMing in the morning. But I just HAD to post about what HAS to be my fave drool-worthy booth at the con-- and it concerns terrain.</div>
<br />
I mean, I was so impressed that I'm putting off going to bed right now. In fact, this will be going up a bit after midnight because I'm working on this actual-time for a change.<br />
<br />
Usually I'll tell fellow dork-nerds to get paper terrain, or make their own, because pre-made terrain for minis is usually very expensive. Especially if you want it to look good.<br />
<br />
Well, look at this real quick:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1PXct21uV80/Ty40VH3i9fI/AAAAAAAAAfU/chMXzR4Jkl0/s1600/spider_webs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1PXct21uV80/Ty40VH3i9fI/AAAAAAAAAfU/chMXzR4Jkl0/s320/spider_webs.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It even comes with little spiders!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Neat, eh? How much do you think they would cost? They're decent size, keep in mind. Like the size of a large fist. Maybe bigger.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MzP62wNIOaw/Ty41BVZ_hRI/AAAAAAAAAfc/ocfT59BsUHI/s1600/spider_webs_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MzP62wNIOaw/Ty41BVZ_hRI/AAAAAAAAAfc/ocfT59BsUHI/s320/spider_webs_2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yup.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
In case you can't make that out, it says they're $7.50 a piece. Seven dollars and fifty cents. Holy. Shit.<br />
<br />
Let's continue with more pictures and the information you'll need to order some after the jump, shall we?</div>
<div>
<br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Now, let the eye-feasting continue!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M38mqt1zZcM/Ty41uX3465I/AAAAAAAAAfk/2kPNGraFdbQ/s1600/metzner_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M38mqt1zZcM/Ty41uX3465I/AAAAAAAAAfk/2kPNGraFdbQ/s320/metzner_1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The first things I saw...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div>
So, there's this guy named <b>Robert Metzner</b>, and he lives in Vancouver B.C...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_GSheLTma1Y/Ty42IOVgaJI/AAAAAAAAAfs/CppAduycyUM/s1600/metzner_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_GSheLTma1Y/Ty42IOVgaJI/AAAAAAAAAfs/CppAduycyUM/s320/metzner_2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And when he isn't being a wonderfully jovial dude, he's busy kicking massive ass building terrain.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WHNAJM5EQss/Ty43EAZgndI/AAAAAAAAAf0/cNWTjenx9j4/s1600/metzner_3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WHNAJM5EQss/Ty43EAZgndI/AAAAAAAAAf0/cNWTjenx9j4/s320/metzner_3.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Trees have never looked so sexy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
He has the help of family and friends, and this is all a huge labour of love for them.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iHUH1IRZbLI/Ty43XngT2BI/AAAAAAAAAf8/MAbyM8msWsA/s1600/metzner_4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iHUH1IRZbLI/Ty43XngT2BI/AAAAAAAAAf8/MAbyM8msWsA/s320/metzner_4.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Those Coke cans don't have a chance!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YoV72aCrY9A/Ty43lbrdwkI/AAAAAAAAAgM/WM5VI4Xd01I/s1600/metzner_5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YoV72aCrY9A/Ty43lbrdwkI/AAAAAAAAAgM/WM5VI4Xd01I/s320/metzner_5.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I am actually drooling on my keyboard.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Kw4bmQcneh0/Ty431Yi-VoI/AAAAAAAAAgU/VYlLWfG3Moo/s1600/metzner_6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Kw4bmQcneh0/Ty431Yi-VoI/AAAAAAAAAgU/VYlLWfG3Moo/s320/metzner_6.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wow.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
When I was talking to Mr. Metzner, I could totally tell he is consumed with a passion for model-making. It was inspiring, honestly.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5KTA0Xvja_o/Ty44UvFKmEI/AAAAAAAAAgc/oZolLYyImzE/s1600/metzner_7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5KTA0Xvja_o/Ty44UvFKmEI/AAAAAAAAAgc/oZolLYyImzE/s320/metzner_7.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes. Those are some fine looking rocks. I'll take 14.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-x9yoRikKL88/Ty44qqOPR6I/AAAAAAAAAgs/HFWk43LYBsg/s1600/metzner_9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-x9yoRikKL88/Ty44qqOPR6I/AAAAAAAAAgs/HFWk43LYBsg/s320/metzner_9.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh, hey! Great plants! I wonder if--</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AWjufxqY-HI/Ty44448xeyI/AAAAAAAAAg0/vWk8KRL6FEY/s1600/metzner_10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AWjufxqY-HI/Ty44448xeyI/AAAAAAAAAg0/vWk8KRL6FEY/s320/metzner_10.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">--OH HAI DOODZ!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
I just love those last two. When I was shown the hidden troops in the plant, I was, like "DAMN!". That would be an epic dick move in any wargame. I love it.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Y9KAE6wYSVw/Ty45UA3bASI/AAAAAAAAAg8/uHgK6KwKMKQ/s1600/metzner_11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Y9KAE6wYSVw/Ty45UA3bASI/AAAAAAAAAg8/uHgK6KwKMKQ/s320/metzner_11.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sigh. Love it, too.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kavxX9NzpBk/Ty45c5jr44I/AAAAAAAAAhE/m3zmwMjhY4I/s1600/metzner_12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kavxX9NzpBk/Ty45c5jr44I/AAAAAAAAAhE/m3zmwMjhY4I/s320/metzner_12.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I call this one "METAL Mountain".</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iph1zaDAy_c/Ty45tX6h2TI/AAAAAAAAAhM/4j3auaPquRU/s1600/metzner_13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iph1zaDAy_c/Ty45tX6h2TI/AAAAAAAAAhM/4j3auaPquRU/s320/metzner_13.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"If we wait here, Pete, we'll get Dude-ka-bobs!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Now for one of the things that really made me giddy. I have a feeling that these guys showing of their terrain had no idea just how excited I was.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Okay, well, maybe they did.</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SpBjkKgXA98/Ty46NJt3oqI/AAAAAAAAAhU/NdPvQP2mE-o/s1600/pillbox_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SpBjkKgXA98/Ty46NJt3oqI/AAAAAAAAAhU/NdPvQP2mE-o/s320/pillbox_1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">*swoon*</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DqRSghnkLrI/Ty46ar5IMQI/AAAAAAAAAhc/aTBCp7ZWkgk/s1600/pillbox_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DqRSghnkLrI/Ty46ar5IMQI/AAAAAAAAAhc/aTBCp7ZWkgk/s320/pillbox_2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gorgeous. I will marry this pillbox, please.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And for all you <b>Warhammer</b> fans...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-97kSiiuPqps/Ty46oqMmWvI/AAAAAAAAAhk/sFMgPyj6OYg/s1600/rhino.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-97kSiiuPqps/Ty46oqMmWvI/AAAAAAAAAhk/sFMgPyj6OYg/s320/rhino.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Driveway Victory</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The Emperor is mighty pleased, that's for sure.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Here's the truly inspired and mindblowingly <i>awesome</i> part:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XdOeKvjn2oI/Ty44nwZ4RxI/AAAAAAAAAgk/ErZ8BCLOAL0/s1600/metzner_8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XdOeKvjn2oI/Ty44nwZ4RxI/AAAAAAAAAgk/ErZ8BCLOAL0/s320/metzner_8.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Enlarge. Yes, that's FO' REALS.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
You can't beat those prices. I don't think you can, anyway. Not with the quality they are throwing at us. This stuff looks and feels great without you leaving financially murdered. I was told that they will take orders, but larger items might be tricky shipping price-wise. However, since Robert was extrordinarily friendly, and seemed to keep as-friendly company, I'm sure y'all can come to some sort of arrangement. Myself, I'll be ordering fairly regularly, I'm sure.<br />
<br />
Why?<br />
<br />
Just look, man:<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ydg6a8gwvEc/Ty48TKcogKI/AAAAAAAAAhs/nEEwZfdDNNc/s1600/burial_mounds_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ydg6a8gwvEc/Ty48TKcogKI/AAAAAAAAAhs/nEEwZfdDNNc/s320/burial_mounds_1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">eeeeeeeeeeee!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-izYgENoh3dk/Ty49Oa6he0I/AAAAAAAAAh0/dKjZLmsrYGM/s1600/burial_mounds_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-izYgENoh3dk/Ty49Oa6he0I/AAAAAAAAAh0/dKjZLmsrYGM/s320/burial_mounds_2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">$17.50? I'll freaking live in it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br />
<br />
The burial mounds win. They just... win. Seriously, I loved them so, so much. The way I figure it, my girlfriend wants a hobbit house one day, and this would be a good compromise.<br />
<br />
You think I'm kidding when I say I would live in a life-sized version of those burial mounds. Shows what <i>you</i> know.<br />
<br />
You may be thinking right now "HOW CAN I GET MY FILTHY HANDS ON THESE AMAZINGSOME THINGS?", and I certainly cannot blame you.<br />
<br />
I was told the website is still being out together; and when it is, I will be sure to post the link right here in this blog (and linking back to this post, of course). In the meantime, you can contact Robert Metzner <b><a href="mailto:robert@tabletopscenery.com">via email</a></b> or phone him at <b>(604) 942-9686</b>.</div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
That's all for now. I need to sleep.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Please comment and let me know what you think of tonight's pr0n!</div>Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-74737304348859102882012-02-03T09:00:00.000-08:002012-02-03T13:27:43.907-08:00Total Party Kill 2/3/12: Now with More ButtermentHowdy! For those few of you out there who keep up with this blog, you may have noticed I barely did anything here over the last week. Well, I've been more busy than usual, especially with <b><a href="http://www.gottacon.com/">GOTTACON</a></b> coming up... in fact, <b>GOTTACON</b> starts today!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.gottacon.com/images/gc2012logowebfinal.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="217" src="http://www.gottacon.com/images/gc2012logowebfinal.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I look forward to <b>GOTTACON</b> every year, and not just because they invite me to come do things. If you are too damned lazy to look up <b>GOTTACON</b>, the nutshell version is that its a gaming convention that happens every year right here in Victoria, BC, Canada. All kinds of cool games and such can be found there. Panels with special guests, too. Seriously, check it out. <b><a href="http://www.gottacon.com/">Here's another link to their site</a></b>.<br />
<br />
At this GOTTACON, I will be excessively busy, it seems. The convention organizers have me on two panels: "So You Want To Write A..." with other writers more awesome at writing than I am, I'm sure, and "DM Roundtable" where I sit around with other consummate DMs and talking DMing and such.<br />
<br />
I will also be working my part-time job's booth, <b><a href="http://www.stylenprint.com/">Style N Print</a></b>, selling shirts-- including the official <b>GOTTACON</b> shirts. We'll also be able to show off our Direct To Garment thing, where we can create shirts for you in minutes.<br />
<br />
And finally, I will be running a <i><b>Warhammer 40,000: Dark Hersey</b></i> RPG game tonight, from 7 to 11 PM. I call it "Logan's World Run", and the PCs are Adeptus Arbites personnel, sent to the wild place that is Hellsreach on Logan's World... a planet that only fans of the original Warhammer 40k <b><i>Rogue Trader</i></b> will know about.<br />
<br />
Anyhowitzer, here's a link to the two posts (two??? wow) I've done this week:<br />
<br />
<b><i><a href="http://grognerd.blogspot.com/2012/01/traveller-ogl-alienist-rpg-peek-review.html">Traveller OGL: Alienist [RPG Review]</a></i></b><br />
This is covering a short and inexpensive PDF supplement for the new Traveller rules. Review material courtesy of <b><a href="http://postmortemstudios.wordpress.com/">Postmortem Studios</a></b>.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eesrGInT9Ig/TyOXg6fK5GI/AAAAAAAAAd0/E1tM49p9fPg/s1600/alienist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eesrGInT9Ig/TyOXg6fK5GI/AAAAAAAAAd0/E1tM49p9fPg/s200/alienist.jpg" width="141" /></a></div>
<br />
<b><a href="http://grognerd.blogspot.com/2012/02/hardcore-book-pr0n-first-edition-timez.html"><i>Hardcore Book pr0n: First Edition Timez</i></a></b><br />
Figuring I have to use "pr0n" in another feature name, this one is about books I find or rediscover. And I found a <b>Spelljammer</b> novel and a couple other nice treats.<br />
<br />
And that's it for posts...<br />
<br />
As far as other things going on, author <b><a href="http://www.ryanspeck.com/">Ryan Speck</a></b> and I finally recorded the podcast thing we've been talking about for years. We called our evil worm-baby <b><a href="http://www.mediagauntlet.com/podcasts/mouthfist/">MouthFist</a></b>. As with nearly all first ventures into podcasting, we had a few massive technical difficulties and we almost scrapped this episode. But Ryan, who's producing it, didn't want to re-record... so, out of sheer lethargy, I suppose, he edited the hell out of it... and aside from the weird static bursts, it turned out okay. Please, check it oot at yer leisure:<br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://www.mediagauntlet.com/podcasts/mouthfist/293-mouthfist-ep000">MouthFist Podcast, Episode 0: Fudginating with Hitler</a></b><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LVIwqMLSvAA/TyriqxuxvMI/AAAAAAAAAek/GEG_P2FKlzc/s1600/mouthfist_podcast.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LVIwqMLSvAA/TyriqxuxvMI/AAAAAAAAAek/GEG_P2FKlzc/s200/mouthfist_podcast.jpg" width="176" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Using our mouth-fists for the butterment of mankind. </i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Master Nerd points will be handed out to anyone who can tell me where we shamelessly stole our logo from. Please be a good sport and try to answer BEFORE you look it up on ze Googles!<br />
<br />
Now let's get to some links really quick-like...<br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://it-sparkles.blogspot.com/2012/02/no-fun.html">A great take</a></b> on the whole "<i><b>Before Watchmen</b></i>" <b>Watchmen</b> comics coming out...<br />
<br />
...And <b>Markosia</b>'s <b>Ian Sharman</b> offering <b><a href="http://iandsharman.tumblr.com/post/16932531415/you-know">a different viewpoint</a></b> on the whole affair.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sUlseHxyfFc/TysCo-JZ6yI/AAAAAAAAAes/bNjHZh-oNlk/s1600/dunwich_horror_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sUlseHxyfFc/TysCo-JZ6yI/AAAAAAAAAes/bNjHZh-oNlk/s320/dunwich_horror_1.jpg" width="205" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Looking for a great artist to drool over? <b><a href="http://www.bergting.com/">How about one of my favourite Swedes, Peter Bergting</a></b>? His art rocks, folks. A few years he gave me a copy of <i><b>Gangkrig 145</b></i> (<i>Gangwar 145</i>), which I enjoyed (despite me not knowing Swedish). Recently he masterfully crafted the art for <b>Joe Lansdale</b>'s <a href="http://www.idwpublishing.com/news/article/2070">The Dunwich Horror comics from <b>IDW</b></a>. Lovecraft fans, take serious note here. I'll cover the comics, soon, but you must pick these issues up. Now.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8cUT9XWrq30/TysCtndiyqI/AAAAAAAAAe0/q4_dARPgQL0/s1600/dunwich_preview.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8cUT9XWrq30/TysCtndiyqI/AAAAAAAAAe0/q4_dARPgQL0/s320/dunwich_preview.jpg" width="202" /></a></div>
<br />
For the full preview from IDW, <b><a href="http://issuu.com/idwpublishing/docs/hplovecraft_thedunwichhorror_01_preview?mode=window&viewMode=doublePage">go here</a></b>.<br />
<br />
Here's an interesting site where I saw this blog listed. Its called <b><a href="http://6d6fireball.com/">6D6 Fireball</a></b>, and it's worth perusing. And it's not just a cool site with interesting things, but it also has the <a href="http://6d6rpg.com/wiki/doku.php?id=open:mechanics:core:start">6D6 rules system</a>.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-K3bnxF-coFY/TyuBZDfxNGI/AAAAAAAAAe8/otnBeyIq5fo/s1600/6d6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-K3bnxF-coFY/TyuBZDfxNGI/AAAAAAAAAe8/otnBeyIq5fo/s320/6d6.jpg" width="226" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
I'll have to check it out more in-depth sometime-- but it does look quite good.<br />
<br />
<br />
I really wish I could keep going, but I need to get out the door for GOTTACON. It's going to be an action-packed weekend, folks. Hope to see a few of you there!<br />
<br />
And I promise to do a <b>Midnight Mini pr0n</b> soon.<br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
<i>Questions? Comments? Hit me. <a href="mailto:synabetic@gmail.com">Or email me</a>. </i>Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-5483866157790317572012-02-02T23:38:00.000-08:002012-02-02T23:47:26.012-08:00Hardcore Book pr0n: First Edition TimezBearing <b>Midnight Mini pr0n</b> in mind, I was thinking...<br />
<span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="text-align: center;">I enjoy buying used books. In fact, I love finding rare gems of nerdy goodness that I have--HAVEHAVEHAVE-- to buy. And the cheaper and thiftstore-ier the better. So, earlier today, I was looking through the local </span><b style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.beaconcs.ca/pages/thriftshops.html">Beacon Community Services Thrift Shop</a></b><span style="text-align: center;"> with my lovely better half and lo and behold, I found some books.</span><br />
<br />
Now, many of you don't know that shopping for used books in Victoria, BC can be rather irritating. It's not for lack of bookstores. Oh, no, we have a veritable anti-dearth of them. Bookstores are everywhere here. But used books are still kinda pricey.<br />
<br />
Too pricey, usually.<br />
<br />
Enter thrift stores. Especially thrift stores outside of the tourist areas. What you see pictured is what I picked up for 75 cents a pop.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XR2uq2amBC8/TyuLnM7M2BI/AAAAAAAAAfM/7AMG5yMf698/s1600/P1100662.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="178" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XR2uq2amBC8/TyuLnM7M2BI/AAAAAAAAAfM/7AMG5yMf698/s320/P1100662.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My god, they're full of... <i>words</i>.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Starting form left to right...<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Friends-Like-These-Alan-Foster/dp/0345323904/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1328253945&sr=1-1"><b><i>With Friends Like These...</i></b></a> by <b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Dean_Foster">Alan Dean Foster</a></b><br />
Stories from one of my all-time fave writers. Awesomesauce +5.<br />
<br />
<b><i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Friends-Like-These-Alan-Foster/dp/0345323904/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1328253945&sr=1-1">The Radiant Dragon</a></i></b> by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elaine_Cunningham"><b>Elaine Cunningham</b></a><br />
Part 4 in the <i>Cloakmaster Cycle</i>... Which I may have read long ago. Look, I love Spelljammer. Love it to pieces. This book was an excellent find.<br />
<br />
<i><b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Kaduna-Memories-Jack-McKinney/dp/0345365798/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1328254124&sr=1-1">Kaduna Memories</a></b></i> by <b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_McKinney_(writer)">Jack McKinney</a></b><br />
You know, I never knew that the writing team (Jack is two dudes) of the Robotech novels (I read all of them--ALL) was behind something non-Robotech. Fantastic! I look forward to reading this First Contact story. I should hunt down the <i><b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Event-Horizon-Black-Travel-Agency/dp/0345370538/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1328254352&sr=1-2">Black Hole Travel Agency</a></b></i> books, too.<br />
<br />
At some point I will get around to reading them. When I do, you'll be the first to know my thoughts.<br />
<br />
Just so you know, <b>Hardcore Book pr0n</b> will feature my amazing book finds, or me talking about a "re-find", where I rediscover a book I've had for a while.<br />
<br />
Fun Fact: The books you see pictured have a cool drawing my girlfriend did for something were working on as a background. I know you can't see it... just thought I'd point that out.<br />
<br />Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-30222984773410769112012-01-28T00:08:00.000-08:002012-01-28T00:13:08.110-08:00Traveller OGL: Alienist [RPG Peek-a-Review]<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eesrGInT9Ig/TyOXg6fK5GI/AAAAAAAAAd0/E1tM49p9fPg/s1600/alienist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eesrGInT9Ig/TyOXg6fK5GI/AAAAAAAAAd0/E1tM49p9fPg/s200/alienist.jpg" width="141" /></a></div>
Considering I haven't been doing a lot of roleplaying game coverage in my blog, I figured it's about time I did. And what better than to start off with one of my fave indie RPG publishers? <b><a href="http://www.postmort.demon.co.uk/">Postmortem Studios</a></b> is the small-but-mighty ship <b><a href="http://postmortemstudios.wordpress.com/about/">James "Grim" Desborough</a></b> calls his own, and he always gets very talented folks to work with him. This has culminated into a steady stream of numerous releases for the RPG market, most, if not all, being carried by one of the best places to find e-versions of an incredible variety of RPG products: <b><a href="http://www.rpgnow.com/">RPG NOW</a></b>.<br />
<br />
One thing first, though. You may notice I have earmarked this entry "Peek-a-Review". What the hell does that mean, anyway? Simple: I don't usually like doing super long and comprehensive reviews. Or maybe I haven't playtested them (as is the case here). I guess I'm, um, sorry if that bothers you. What I prefer is talking about the item, maybe whine about it if it offends my delicate sensibilities, or maybe I unleash the hyperbolese and go gibber-faced insane. Who knows. But if you want a review that reads like a badass Homeric poem, I simply cannot recommend <b><a href="http://rpg.net/">RPG.net</a></b> enough.<br />
<br />
Anyway, on to <i>Alienist</i>, dammit.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">The Copy</span></b><br />
<i>"A full career path for the <b>Traveller OGL</b>
Many people are fascinated by alien cultures but for some it becomes an obsession and for a few, exceptional people they become a part of the culture that fascinates them. Accepted in a way that most never could be.
Caught between their own people and their obsession, the Alienist is a bridge between disparate cultures separated by light years, psychology and even biology."</i><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What You Get</span></b><br />
The<i> Alienist </i>PDF is a rather short affair, and is pretty no-frills. There isn't even a credits page. It clocks in at nine pages, six of which are what I call "Meat Pages"; as in, ones with rules and aren't OGL licence stuff or the cover. The Meat Pages are breviloquent* concerning the description of the Alienist class, and it still manages to be well-written. Then you get a few pages of charts which are laid out in a way that almost made me go cross-eyed at first... However, when I look at the specific part of the chart I need to read, it's not so bad. Charts and tables are available for Skills & Training, Career Progress, Ranks and Benefits, Mustering Out Benefits, Mishaps, and Events. You probably won't be surprised when I say the Mishaps and Events ones are my favourites. And, indeed, reading through them was interesting, but not as entertaining as I had hoped. Then again, <b>Postmortem</b> most likely made the right decision in that case. There are some new rules and new equipment, too, with the new skill "Integration" making perfect sense when an Alienist is immersing themselves in an alien culture (I hear this becomes problematic for those Alienists visiting LV-426). The major standout in the equipment section is "Bodyswap" (TL 14, by the way), in which someone who feels they are born to the wrong species-- called "xenodismorphia"-- can, well, you know, <i>fully</i> integrate themselves. Pretty neat, really. There are a few more items and then that's it... roll License Agreement. To me, everything looks fairly balanced and it's excessively unlikely it will break anything.<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(*Yes, this is a word. I find it friendlier sounding than "laconic".)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Art und Layout</span></b><br />
Overall, the art and layout remain cost-effective without looking too cheap. The cover art is decent enough, and doesn't make me want to kill myself. Always a good thing, I suppose. It's really not bad, man. In fact, I dig it. Have you <i>seen</i> some of the art in indie games out there? Yee-ikes. There is not much more art to be had aside from the cool cyberspacepunky border bits; which I love, honestly. The layout is simple, single column style, which you should be able to read with ease. There is the aforementioned problem with the tables and the like, which look a bit crammed to me. But once you need to find a particular listing, you should have no problem. As for the editing? It's good. Being the nitpicking editor bastard (and obvious hypocrite) I am, I like the cut of this product's editing jib.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Bang For Your Buck</b></span><br />
There is no other way to say it: This mofo be fiddy cents, dawg. That's right: 50 <i>cents</i>. Bang/Buck-wise, this is rockin' and rockin' hard.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">The Bottom Line</span></b><br />
Look, I promise that next time I'll have something cooler for my "in conclusion" title thing... But the bottom line is that if you play Mongoose's <i>Traveller</i>, you should totally check this out. It's cheap, it's informative and to the point, and I really don't know when the last time I saw something so cool and nifty that's dropped right into any <i>Traveller</i> game for the price of making a crazy homeless dude leave you alone. Personally, I'd put it in my <i>Traveller</i> game if I were running one. And that reminds me: I need to run one. I am dying to do a <i>Judge Dredd</i> or <i>Strontium Dog</i> game. The <i>Alienist</i> class would work well with them, too. I'll let y'all know how that works out when I get there.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Lethality</b>: The vessel had a crew of six brave souls who went to go check out that alien world and ended up on the dead and/or bugshit poopers side of things. One man made it back. He was carrying two arms, one of which still clutched a ray gun. Or maybe it was a newer model hairdryer.<br />
<br />
If you play <i>Traveller</i> you would be doing yourself a disfavour not buying this.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.rpgnow.com/product_info.php?products_id=98859">You can purchase it here.</a></span><br />
<br />
<br />
Wow, this was MUCH longer than I anticipated. I would like to thank <b><a href="http://www.postmort.demon.co.uk/">Postmortum Studios</a> </b>for sending review material my way. I will be featuring and reviewing more of their products in the near future, including talking about one of them on the upcoming <b>MouthFist Podcast</b>.<br />
<br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
<br />
Comments are always welcome. Except from you. Yeah, you. You know I'm talking about you-- yeah, over there. And, of course, <a href="mailto:synabetic@gmail.com">there's the email option</a>.Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-24751462074843669212012-01-27T09:30:00.000-08:002012-01-27T18:43:58.675-08:00Total Party Kill 1/27/12: Mouthfisting the Zombie Dickheads for ScienceFirst, the banner:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gelWpiCRnTo/TxnBuEBnMoI/AAAAAAAAAa8/dMkcduuJq8g/s1600/Total_Party_Kill_banner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="123" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gelWpiCRnTo/TxnBuEBnMoI/AAAAAAAAAa8/dMkcduuJq8g/s320/Total_Party_Kill_banner.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ta-DAHHHH!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">
And hey, how about another banner I found in the images dead elephant graveyard for this blog?</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HhaR4cNe_tQ/SKuSmGPxcfI/AAAAAAAAAIw/tOgaWJraTbs/s1600/TPKbanner1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="123" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HhaR4cNe_tQ/SKuSmGPxcfI/AAAAAAAAAIw/tOgaWJraTbs/s320/TPKbanner1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just gaming, though? Shame.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Anyhow, welcome to another Friday here at <b><a href="http://grognerd.blogspot.com/">Diary of a Grognerd</a></b>. After the jump, you will find links to everything that went up here since last Friday, links to neat things around the intardnets and ultrawebs, and a couple featured "X of the Week!" items.<br />
<br />
And... get ready... get ready... steady... <b><i><span style="font-size: large;">JUMP</span></i></b><br />
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></b><br />
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;"></span></i></b><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
Here's what's been goin' on...<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Flashback Montage With Your Mom Theatre</b></div>
<br />
<i><b><a href="http://grognerd.blogspot.com/2012/01/mini-profile-epic-wargaming.html">Mini Profile: Epic Wargaming</a></b></i><br />
Paper minis and terrain? Hell, yes. And this new outfit has some free stuff for you to check out, including some sweet, sweet rules (also FREE).<br />
<br />
<i><b><a href="http://grognerd.blogspot.com/2012/01/pimpstarter-flying-fortress-volume-1.html">Pimpstarter: Flying Fortress Volume 1</a></b></i><br />
A new feature thing where I will try to find <b>Kickstarter</b> projects that look interesting to me... and maybe you'll find them interesting, too.<br />
<i><br /></i><br />
<i><b><a href="http://grognerd.blogspot.com/2012/01/daken-dark-wolverine-20-comic-review.html">Daken: Dark Wolverine #20 [Comic Review]</a></b></i><br />
I review a Marvel comic which involves-- I think-- Wolverine's son.<br />
<br />
<b><i><a href="http://grognerd.blogspot.com/2012/01/behold-enemy-of-all-mini-kind.html">Behold! The Enemy of All Mini-Kind</a></i></b><br />
Minis and cats will never get along...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oFFvQF-e_28/TyDB948EVAI/AAAAAAAAAcM/gpAt6hiqhHg/s1600/cat_minis_3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oFFvQF-e_28/TyDB948EVAI/AAAAAAAAAcM/gpAt6hiqhHg/s320/cat_minis_3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<b><a href="http://grognerd.blogspot.com/2012/01/midnight-mini-pr0n-reaper-012312-go.html"><i>Midnight Mini pr0n: Reaper 012312--GO!</i></a></b><br />
Wherein I show off some sexy new Reaper minis.<br />
<br />
I know, I know. Not much on The Posting for me. And yes, Kelvin, I will be going through <i><b>Dredd vs Death</b></i> this next week and posting about that.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b><br />
<b>Look! Linky Logs of Love</b></div>
<br />
<b>MINIS</b>: Whilst searching around, I found <b><a href="http://exponentwargames.blogspot.com/2010/01/paints-review.html">this decent review on some popular paints</a></b>. Sadly missing <b>Reaper</b>, however.<br />
<br />
<b>MINIS</b>/<b>HISTORY</b>/<b>ETC</b>: Via <b><a href="http://www.miniaturewargaming.com/">these guy</a></b>s, I found <a href="http://listverse.com/2011/12/16/top-10-bizarre-wars/">this post on the <b>Top 10 Most Bizarre War</b><b>s</b></a>.<br />
<b><br /></b><br />
<b>COMICS</b>/<b>INTERNET</b>: A <b><a href="http://www.thefialkov.com/?p=2412">really good thought-provoking post</a></b> on piracy, SOPA
and such from comic writer <b>Josh Fialkov</b>.<br />
<br />
<b>COMICS</b>: A <b><a href="http://thrillpoweredthursday.blogspot.com/">totally zarjaz 2000 AD themed blog</a></b>, <b><a href="http://thrillpoweredthursday.blogspot.com/">Thrill Powered Thursday</a></b>, from the supreme and most amazing <b>Hipster Dad</b>.<br />
<br />
<b>COMICS</b>: Speaking of Zarjaz, <a href="http://pyeparr.blogspot.com/2012/01/death-planet-plus-avert-disaster-today.html?m=1">here's some art for <b>DEATH PLANET</b></a> (it needs to be written in caps), coming with an issue of <b>Judge Dredd Megazine</b> soon. Also read DEATH PLANET's cover artist Pye Parr's blog. Dude-Droid is scary talented and stuff.<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jlf7RrVbojw/TyIePCorEDI/AAAAAAAAAc8/ztpJQ4hlT34/s1600/deathplanet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jlf7RrVbojw/TyIePCorEDI/AAAAAAAAAc8/ztpJQ4hlT34/s320/deathplanet.jpg" width="244" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"What do you mean DEATH PLANET is dangerous??"</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<b>RANDOM</b>: <b><a href="http://www.flamingunicornskeleton.com/">Coolest name for a freelance art person's web presence ever</a></b>? I like to think so. From the site: "<b>Flaming Unicorn Skeleton</b> is the freelance practice of Joel Tellier, a compulsive artist who has a keen eye for detail, simplicity and relevance within the work he produces."<br />
<br />
<b>COMICS</b>: Artist <b>Chris Moreno</b>'s mind and body has thrown up some of the coolest shit since <b><i>Gymkata</i></b> aired in Albanian: <b><a href="http://zombiedickheads.blogspot.com/">ZOMBIE DICKHEADS</a></b> (also needs to be in caps). I will be buying this, as I know already that it rules, and rules hard. You should probably pick it up, too.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-al7kWcNOOZ4/TyIhvlGZstI/AAAAAAAAAdE/5VbuOixhF0w/s1600/zombiedickheads.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-al7kWcNOOZ4/TyIhvlGZstI/AAAAAAAAAdE/5VbuOixhF0w/s320/zombiedickheads.jpg" width="207" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pictured: Not <i>Gymkata</i>. Thank GOD.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div>
<b>RPGS</b>: Are you keeping up with <b>Paizo's RPG Superstar</b>? <a href="http://paizo.com/rpgsuperstar"><b>You should be</b></a>.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>COMICS</b>: Writer <b>Jamie Gambell </b>and friends have released the comic <b>OMNITARIUM</b> (caps!) for free. It's worth checking out, <b><a href="http://www.jamiegambell.com/2012/01/lets-see-how-this-goes.html?spref=tw">so get it here</a></b>. It's around <i>100 pages</i> of terrifically crafted horror, kids. Be sure to tip the hardworking talent, mmmkay? <b><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.jamiegambell.com/2012/01/lets-see-how-this-goes.html?spref=tw">GET IT</a></span></b>.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_vfHjyolQTo/TyIjEY6BkRI/AAAAAAAAAdM/gTcr4I9H-SM/s1600/omnitarium.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_vfHjyolQTo/TyIjEY6BkRI/AAAAAAAAAdM/gTcr4I9H-SM/s320/omnitarium.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sing it now: "Om-ni-tarium... it... be... free!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br />
<b>WEBCOMICS</b>: And finally for links, the <b>TPK Webcomic of the Week</b> is... <b><a href="http://chanceofdoom.com/">OVERCAST WITH A CHANCE OF DOOM</a></b>. If you're like me and enjoy dark, gothy humour, go enjoy the poop out of this. Brought to you by Robert Tritthardt, the diseased mind behind the most excellent <i><b><a href="http://writheandshine.com/">Writhe and Shine</a></b></i>.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="101" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gmxvi4iGEuQ/TyIlo2j-gUI/AAAAAAAAAdU/xzC_LpRthpk/s320/overcast.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://chanceofdoom.com/">Read it HERE, dammit.</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div>
<br />
There are tons of other things I would love to link to, but there simply isn't time. That was a pretty comics heavy links-debut, wasn't it? Next time I'll be sure to do more concerning video games and rpgs.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
***<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Mini pr0n!</b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
This week, I would like to further prove I have a thing for Ze Germans in Spaaaaaace (<a href="http://grognerd.blogspot.com/2012/01/midnight-mini-pr0n-sexy-sexy-shock.html">Example 4-57b</a>). Just gaze upon these dudes:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vQYxsE4WM28/TyIoVfIkAEI/AAAAAAAAAdc/LMC2SkX1rBU/s1600/pigiron_kolony_militia.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vQYxsE4WM28/TyIoVfIkAEI/AAAAAAAAAdc/LMC2SkX1rBU/s320/pigiron_kolony_militia.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yup. That robot is BOSS, man.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><a href="http://www.pig-iron-productions.com/kl6-kolony-militia-hq-p-5.html">Pig Iron Productions' Kolony Militia HQ (KL.6)</a></b> is really, really, nice. In fact, all of Pig Iron's minis are breathtaking little fellas. Sometime in the near future, I will have to do a Midnight Mini pr0n focused on them. I need to save my hard earned gold-pressed latinum so I can order these babies.<br />
<br />
***</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>That's It?</b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
For this week, yeah. I've had a lot going on, but I wanted to get a <b>Friday TPK</b> in there, y'know? TPKs will always be different, and will only have a loose format to follow... as you can no doubt see. I didn't even give anything a lethality score in the Official TPK Post this time around. Weird.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
But, since you've been so good, I will leave you with this...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-v-Ebk2aHvWQ/TyIqlJcUCZI/AAAAAAAAAdk/Znj8KCIjHCY/s1600/orcus_screenshot.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-v-Ebk2aHvWQ/TyIqlJcUCZI/AAAAAAAAAdk/Znj8KCIjHCY/s400/orcus_screenshot.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You are going to have to touch it to make it bigger.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
The above screenshot from the <b>Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic</b> MMO is courtesy of Mr. Andrew Brown, a true gentleman and scholar. It's also a strange, esoteric hint of something destined to rear its ugly head in the hallowed halls of <b>Diary of a Grognerd</b>.<br />
<br />
Fine. I'll leave you with something else, too; another teaser of something else in the works:<br />
<br />
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mediagauntlet.com/mfp-logo.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.mediagauntlet.com/mfp-logo.png" width="282" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Object Shown may be closer than it appears.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
Hope to see you lot throughout the week! Until next time, take care of yourself... and those bodies you need to bury.<br />
<br />
--</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I always love comments, requests and suggestions... so, go crazy down below. Or, if you would rather keep it private, <a href="mailto:synabetic@gmail.com">email me</a>.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Please note: All images belong to their proper owners. If an image owner has any issues over any images here, please contact me to let me know)</span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div>
<br />
<br /></div>
</div>Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-70272403159475625292012-01-27T00:00:00.000-08:002012-01-28T00:20:28.085-08:00Midnight Mini pr0n: Reaper 012312--GO!Hello, you magnificent creatures of bastarddom--<br />
<br />
Wait. Is there two d's in "bastarddom"? That's gonna bug me.<br />
<br />
Welcome to another <b>Midnight Mini pr0n</b>! Tonight's pr0n features an old favourite of mine and many of yours': <b><a href="http://www.reapermini.com/">Reaper Minatures</a></b>.<br />
<br />
<b>Reaper</b> is one of those outfits who produce consistently awesome and affordable minis. They have an incredible selection to pick from and they even have very nice paints. Just go and poke around their site for a while. You'll spend hours there... and then? And then you'll want to order stuff.<br />
<br />
And then?<br />
<br />
And then you'll notice they give free shipping on orders of $25 or more for the USA... and CANADA! This means a lot to me, as I complain a lot about shipping from the US to here.<br />
<br />
This Midnight, I invite you to take a look at what new treats <b>Reaper</b> has to offer today (or, technically, yesterday, but whatevs).<br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://www.reapermini.com/#678">CLICK ON THIS LINK AND BEHOLD, SON (OR DAUGHTER).</a></b><br />
<br />
Now I will show you what I love. Now, I'm no miniatures racist. I love them all... but there ARE ones I prefer more than others.<br />
<br />
You know, kinda like how I am with my kids*.<br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(*Obvious joke is<i> obvious</i>. Right? Pleasedon'thurtme.)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9JJu5mzPZaU/TyG-vwGCtYI/AAAAAAAAAcc/OM5QhBDEnkA/s1600/Reaper_Intergalactic_Marine_Proudfoot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9JJu5mzPZaU/TyG-vwGCtYI/AAAAAAAAAcc/OM5QhBDEnkA/s320/Reaper_Intergalactic_Marine_Proudfoot.jpg" width="295" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"Damn your hammers of war! I said GO THAT WAY!!"</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Looking above this text, you may instantly understand why the combination of <b>Reaper Miniatures</b> and designer <b>Bobby Jackson</b> are a match made in heaven. You can go directly to <a href="http://www.reapermini.com/OnlineStore/50263/latest/50263">the listing for <b>"Erik Proudfoot, Intergalactic Marine"</b> <b>here</b></a>. You will also want to see more of Mr. Jackson's Intergalactic Marines-- and don't worry, I got yor back. <b><a href="http://www.reapermini.com/OnlineStore/bobby%20marine">Just GO HERE</a></b>.<br />
<br />
Moving right along, another standout new fig for me from <b>Reaper</b> is <b><a href="http://www.reapermini.com/OnlineStore/14639/latest/14639">"Shadowguard, DkRch"</a></b>, also by-- wait for it... waaaait-- Bobby Jackson! Check it:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WZ9YK1v5_Pk/TyHBN8sNVzI/AAAAAAAAAck/v7H2ozjEaeQ/s1600/Reaper_Shadowguard.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WZ9YK1v5_Pk/TyHBN8sNVzI/AAAAAAAAAck/v7H2ozjEaeQ/s320/Reaper_Shadowguard.jpg" width="249" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"Yep. I'm totally badass, yo."</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
But all minis can't be swaggering badass mofos created by Bobby Jackson (who, I bet, has laser shooting eyes and a chainsaw fist). This next one is nicely crafted by one <b>Patrick Keith</b>. It is very badass in its own subtle way.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j0MQnDViTOw/TyHCgRSylNI/AAAAAAAAAc0/oOpfHcCoeKY/s1600/Reaper_trinia.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j0MQnDViTOw/TyHCgRSylNI/AAAAAAAAAc0/oOpfHcCoeKY/s320/Reaper_trinia.jpg" width="188" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"Bitch, where my shoes at?"</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It's hard to find a great female miniature these days, you know? Well done, Mr. Keith. Quite elegant. The <a href="http://www.reapermini.com/OnlineStore/60102/latest/60102">entry for <b>"Trinia Sabor"</b> is <b>HERE</b></a>.<br />
<br />
While all the new minis Reaper are offering as of today [ed: <i>yesterday</i>-- okay, well <i>technically</i> technically, this week] are, in fact, freaking neat-o, these three really grabbed me.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
My thanks to <a href="https://twitter.com/#!/reapermini"><b>@minireaper</b></a>, which is where you find <b>Reaper Miniatures</b> on ze Twitter. They are a most-follow for minis-fans, by the by, as they are incredibly helpful and communicative. I'm assuming they also must love tacos, too.<br />
<br />
I hope you've enjoyed this latest dose of <b>pr0n</b>! I do have one question to leave you with:<br />
<br />
Midnight Mini pr0n will always happen at Midnight when I post it-- but which timezone should I use for the posting time? Right now it's posted with my timezone, PST, in mind. Thoughts? Go ahead and sound off your vote in the comments. <a href="mailto:synabetic@gmail.com">Or email me if yer shy</a>.</div>Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-87953715662038997812012-01-25T19:07:00.000-08:002012-01-25T20:53:35.439-08:00Behold! The Enemy of All Mini-KindRecently, I've gotten into painting miniatures again. While I have loved minis since a very young age, I do go through periods where I don't feel like painting them. Oh, I'll buy them. Then they'll sit in a box while I wish very, very hard for them to paint themselves, or "Why can't I get these pre-painted", which all leads to the fact that I'm too damned cheap to pay someone to paint them for me.<br />
<br />
Well, like I said already: Recently, I've gotten into painting miniatures again... And I will be happy to show my terrible painting skills off soon, but in the meantime I would like to show you some photos depicting one of the greatest threats to minis and mini supplies out there.<br />
<br />
Many of you can feel the dread because you already know what I'm talking about...<br />
<br />
What am I talking about?<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uT1lf6vZl3E/TyDA23JA38I/AAAAAAAAAb8/IYfUxTf5mLY/s1600/cat-Minis_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uT1lf6vZl3E/TyDA23JA38I/AAAAAAAAAb8/IYfUxTf5mLY/s400/cat-Minis_1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>What.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<b>CATS.</b><br />
<br />
Behold their frightening power... the way they move around a modelling workspace with such predatory grace. They are also REALLY VERY TOTALLY curious... of anything breakable, natch.<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lSfq9F2t1JU/TyDBX1hZGuI/AAAAAAAAAcE/fvP69glbJ04/s1600/cat_minis_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lSfq9F2t1JU/TyDBX1hZGuI/AAAAAAAAAcE/fvP69glbJ04/s400/cat_minis_2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Ooooooo!</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
The way they poke around and then, when you catch them in the act, they just... they just...<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oFFvQF-e_28/TyDB948EVAI/AAAAAAAAAcM/gpAt6hiqhHg/s1600/cat_minis_3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oFFvQF-e_28/TyDB948EVAI/AAAAAAAAAcM/gpAt6hiqhHg/s400/cat_minis_3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Whaaaaaat...</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<i><b>They just look at you.</b></i><br />
<i><b><br /></b></i><br />
But then, how can we get mad at them, like, ever?<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mvmRcxl_Ik0/TyDCllajGrI/AAAAAAAAAcU/zpBeSyO3_S0/s1600/cat_minis_4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mvmRcxl_Ik0/TyDCllajGrI/AAAAAAAAAcU/zpBeSyO3_S0/s400/cat_minis_4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They blur before they pounce.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
They're SO CUTE. Gah, I can't <i>stand</i> it.<br />
<br />
Also, you'll be pleased to know that Luna also bats at me to get my attention when I'm writing. It's just adorable. She's very distracting and fuzzy, you know.<br />
<br />
Incidentally, my lovely girlfriend also does her art things right next to me. It's probably sickeningly sweet, with her drawing and me painting. Awww, nerd love. But, more importantly, she is vastly more talented than I at Art. I will show off some of her Art soon here in Ze Blog.<br />
<br />Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-236649212302703882012-01-25T18:00:00.000-08:002012-01-25T23:19:51.863-08:00Daken: Dark Wolverine #20 [Comic Review]<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_QBlBvzxF64/TyCQogoHIZI/AAAAAAAAAb0/vA2mXuCKlhY/s1600/daken_20_cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_QBlBvzxF64/TyCQogoHIZI/AAAAAAAAAb0/vA2mXuCKlhY/s200/daken_20_cover.jpg" width="131" /></a></div>
"<i>These men? They are meat simply waiting to stop moving</i>."<br />
<br />
Rather than waiting until the end of the week to post a clump of comic book reviews ("reviews", really), I figure I can just post them individually and such. This also means it looks like I have more content and I'm doing more than trying to figure out the exact rules for a <b>FATAL RPG LARP</b>.<br />
<br />
(That's right-- big, big <i>letters</i>.)<br />
<br />
Today, let's look at the <a href="http://marvel.com/comic_books/issue/40524/daken_dark_wolverine_0000_20">latest issue of <b>Daken: Dark Wolverine</b></a>, shall we? Beginning the near-senseless ramblings... NOW!<br />
<br />
I was never much interested in reading <i><b>Daken</b></i>. Nope. The very thought of reading anything Wolverine related bores the shit out of me. And this is hilarious when you take into account that I'm 1) wearing a Wolverine t-shit, and 2) it's John Byrne's Wolverine on my t-shirt (this will be REALLY funny to those of you who know me as "the guy who murdered <i>All The Rage</i>"). Indeed, I didn't even know who the hell Daken is, exactly, until I <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daken">looked him up on <b>The Mighty Wikipedia</b></a>.<br />
<br />
Let's see... ah, yes, I knew he was Wolverine's son already... uh-huh... Oh, his name is Akihiro and Daken is his codename. Well, that makes perfect sense. Uh-huh... reading some more... I see. I see. So, Daken is Wolverine as a young man without re-booting Wolverine, maybe? It doesn't matter. From my quick research I can conclude that he is Wolverine, but younger and more interesting. And not Canadian.<br />
<br />
There's a window here for me to crack a "And making him not-Canadian increases the interesting-factor of Daken three-fold", but I'll refrain. Don't worry, though, I also picked up the latest issue of <i><b>Alpha Flight</b></i> to check it out.<br />
<br />
You may be asking yourself "But <i>why</i> did you buy <i>Daken</i>, Steve?" That's a very good question! Truth be told, I read the new <b><i>Ghost Rider</i></b> series on a whim, noticed that I still really enjoy Rob Williams' writing (he's a true gem from the <i><b>2000 AD</b></i> stable-- also known as Great Britain), and saw him mention <i>Daken</i> on Twitter. I was, like, "Well, shit, I'll buy a copy and check it out, especially since it's a standalone."<br />
<br />
Yes, this issue is a standalone; which means you don't need too much back story to know what's going on. It's also a love story, billed as a "love story of two psychopaths" or something like that. I suppose it is, too, and I also suppose that my idea of a "psychopath" deviates heavily from the vanilla bedsheets of mainstream superhero comics, but Williams does an excellent job with what he has. The art, headed up by Alessandro Vitti, is incredibly well done, as well as incredibly fitting for the book. I should also mention the colour-job by Cris Peter and Rachelle Rosenberg; it's excellent and totally enhances the mood of the overall story.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=preview&id=11205&disp=table">For more look-sees, I recommend heading over to Comic Book Resources for a preview</a>.<br />
<br />
If I may be honest, I would read more superhero comics if they were written like this. There's just enough edge to the story to appeal to my rather askew and violent tastes, and the dialog is consistent and interesting enough to draw me in. Your mileage may vary, of course, and I know a couple people out there that would find this comic to be offensive. It's certainly not for small children. But then again, if your 5 year old is reading this, a) nice to see your kid is as good a reader as I was at that age-- don't let them get a History degree or something just as useless, and b) you probably have other parent/child issues to worry over.<br />
<br />
Oh, the story? Uh, Daken and this woman named Donna Kiel (she's FBI) deal with their feelings for each other... and they're kinda messed up and violent. And something about redemption. It reminds me a bit of my last relationship, actually. Too bad I don't have cool claws, a saner partner for that whole ordeal, or Wolverine for a dad.<br />
<br />
It's a bit of a problem, you know? Growing up and telling my father "Dad, why can't you be Wolverine? I mean, the military thing is cool and all, but NATO didn't issue you an adamantium skeleton. I suppose the flight suits are cool, yeah" kinda got old after a while.<br />
<br />
No, my father doesn't hate me. He probably should, though.<br />
<br />
Nutshell version: This is one heck of a great standalone comic. Even if you don't read <i>Daken</i>, it's worth some ducats dropped down on it. No, it won't cure cancer or even make one bit prettier*, but you can be rest assured that this comic is in good hands.<br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(*chances are nothing would help in that department; sorry)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>Also, am I to understand that <i><b>Daken: Dark Wolverine #21</b></i> is the last issue? I should probably find that out and update. Oh, wait, just Googled that noise... <a href="http://ifanboy.com/articles/cancelpocalypse-whos-next/">Poop, looks like it</a>. <a href="http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=35553">More confirmation here</a>. It also looks like the trend of "Marvel always cancels the titles I read" soldiers on. Remember <i><b>Irredeemable Ant-Man</b></i>? One of my fave comics EVAR. And what happened to it? Murdered hardcore by cancellation.<br /><br />UPDATE: #23 is the last issue of <i><b>Daken: Dark Wolverine</b></i>. Upside is I have some back issues and/or trades to purchase and read.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Lethality</b>: While armed with only the best in vorpal weaponry, five out of six of the stalwart adventures were brutally killed. One crazed survivor came back to tell everyone "Goddammit, I might have to read <i>Daken</i> now."<br />
<br />
Epilogue: I can't be the only one out there who envisions a group of orks chanting "DAKEN DAKEN DAKEN". And is it "Day-ken" or "Dack-en"? Hmmm...<br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
<i>Questions? Comments? You know the drill. Say something. SAY SOMETHING. <a href="mailto:synabetic@gmail.com">Or email me</a>.</i>Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-30206966340305117232012-01-23T22:15:00.000-08:002012-01-23T22:15:19.500-08:00Pimpstarter: Flying Fortress Volume 1Here's a feature I'd like to do regularly: Showcase neat things to back through <b><a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/">Kickstarter</a></b>. I'll call it... "Pimpstarter", which feeds into my my nearly psychotic need to be funny, as well as making a terrible play on words.<br />
<br />
Now, if you don't know what <b>Kickstarter</b> is, you may need to sit down, take a deep breath, and muse about what century you live in.<br />
<br />
Oh, I kid, I kid. I'll forgive you if you don't know. The best place to get all the info you need is <a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/">the<b> Kickstarter</b> website</a>. But, in a nutshell, <b>Kickstarter</b> allows for people to pitch in pledges of money in order to fund a project. If the project meets its funding goal, the people who pledged are charged (through <b>Amazon Payments</b>) the amount they pledged. There are rewards for different amounts pledged, varying in coolness, type and-- no doubt-- size.<br />
<br />
Anyway.<br />
<br />
I would like to recommend you throw money-pledges towards <b><a href="http://kck.st/z3Abls">Flying Fortress Volume 1</a></b>.<br />
<br />
What is it? A weird war WWII comic book. However, it's best that the creators tell you (from the Kickstarter site):<br />
<br />
<b>"It's 1943 and a top World War Two B-17 Bomber crew is given a secret mission to destroy Hitler’s Eagles Nest compound in the German Black Forest. Unimaginable terrors await them as the operation unravels and the crew discovers a hidden land of medieval knights and undead monsters dislodged in time..."</b><br />
<b><br /></b><br />
Yup. Pretty similar to something I would come up with. Certainly something I'd love to read.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J2bdDB1XtvU/Tx5K289Y-fI/AAAAAAAAAbk/lGizBGx358E/s1600/flyingfortress.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J2bdDB1XtvU/Tx5K289Y-fI/AAAAAAAAAbk/lGizBGx358E/s1600/flyingfortress.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image from the Flying Fortress Kickstarter site</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
And pledging can get you all kinds of cool stuff, yeah, like a neat-o polyvinyl replica bomber jacket. But what you are REALLY doing it for is to see the creators get this baby off the ground.<br />
<br />
See what I did there? Well, the point still stands, dammit. Check it out, pledge 'em your hard earned money and help get this project funded. Also: It's a weird war comic for gawd's sake.<br /><br /><b>WE ALWAYS NEED MORE WEIRD WAR COMICS.</b><br /><br />It's allcaps like that.<br /><br />As it should be.<br /><br />--<br /><br />Questions? Comments? Leave a comment, then, or <a href="mailto:synabetic@gmail.com">drop me a goddamned email</a>.Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-20731766662030516932012-01-23T21:12:00.000-08:002012-01-23T21:25:01.639-08:00Mini Profile: Epic Wargaming<br />
Once in a while, I'm going to want to profile certain companies and people. It's good to get the Good Word out there, right? To kick this off, I would like to start with paper miniatures and wargaming rules outfit <b><a href="http://epicwargaming.com/">Epic Wargaming</a></b> and the very likable guy behind it, Dave...<br />
<br />
...and Dave was nice enough to send me the following, explaining what <b><a href="http://epicwargaming.com/">Epic Wargaming</a></b> is all about:
<br />
<br />
"I started <b>Epic</b> because I love wargaming, but I’m not a fan of painting and the cost of it. So, that left me with print-and-play wargaming, but I soon found there isn't that much of it out there and thus decided to write my own game: <b>Three Plains</b>."
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zzc9pF2TdWs/Tx40FOa5gEI/AAAAAAAAAbE/M481HcxQf20/s1600/Three-Plains-Rule-Book.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zzc9pF2TdWs/Tx40FOa5gEI/AAAAAAAAAbE/M481HcxQf20/s1600/Three-Plains-Rule-Book.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Read this fir-- No! Don't do THAT first!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="background-color: black;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;">"<b>Three Plains</b> is an old-world fantasy setting with Orcs, Elves and Goblins all fighting it out. Why? Because that’s my thing, simply."
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-image: initial; font-family: Tahoma; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span style="background-color: black; color: #444444;"><br /></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uBjVNmmk5gs/Tx40fv76QbI/AAAAAAAAAbM/ROQCNH2Ps_s/s1600/Three-Plains-Orcs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uBjVNmmk5gs/Tx40fv76QbI/AAAAAAAAAbM/ROQCNH2Ps_s/s320/Three-Plains-Orcs.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And what's a fantasy game without Orcs, I ask?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-image: initial; font-family: Tahoma; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span style="background-color: black; color: #444444;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-image: initial; font-family: Tahoma; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-image: initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black;">"<b>Three Plains</b> is game not too different from <i><b>Warhammer Fantasy Battles</b></i>, but has more depth and realism than WFB, or so I believe. Characters and elite troops in Warhammer just dominated the field and as I got older I wanted to see more realistic games, where troops get tired and characters can be slain by the hands of commoners, and that’s what <b>Three Plains</b> is all about really. I know that mixing the words realistic and fantasy together sounds silly, but that's what <b>Three Plains</b> is. For instance, take the 'March Over Rule': it means you can march straight over characters which would otherwise hold up entire units of men."</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-image: initial; font-family: Tahoma; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span style="background-color: black; color: #444444;"><br /></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WP8KkbN4sA8/Tx40mqpQZkI/AAAAAAAAAbU/kTaMIsxoYGg/s1600/MM-Spearmen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WP8KkbN4sA8/Tx40mqpQZkI/AAAAAAAAAbU/kTaMIsxoYGg/s320/MM-Spearmen.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look at all those spearmen!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-image: initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important; text-align: justify;">
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: black;">"Reading this you might think it’s all my own work, but you
would be wrong, as many people have put something in the game over the years
now; far too many to mention. Then again, the game testers Tom, Alex, Matty and
Trish have really shaped the game and brought it on more recently. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: black;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: black;">"At the moment I would say the game is half finished, as I
have some massive plans for it next year, like adding 3 more armies and adding
a siege game on to it as well. So, we have our work cut out for us and, eh,
better get back to it..."</span></div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-imazUMAHVvs/Tx40sj3dxII/AAAAAAAAAbc/9XwMgyhJCBo/s1600/Imperial-Elf-Knight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-imazUMAHVvs/Tx40sj3dxII/AAAAAAAAAbc/9XwMgyhJCBo/s1600/Imperial-Elf-Knight.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I really dig this Imperial Elf dude a lot.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As you can no doubt see, <b><a href="http://epicwargaming.com/">Epic Wargaming</a></b> and <b>Three
Plains</b> are labors of love. Did you know "labor of love"
abbreviates to "LOL"? It does. And no, I haven't gotten sick of that
joke. But my point here is, it's nice to see that while Dave and his comrades
are having oodles of fun with this, it's still not a laughing matter.<br />
<br />
Because wargaming is deadly serious.<br />
<br />
Well, okay, more like deadly <i>expensive</i>. And I know, I know-- there are those of
you saying "Paper minis? PAH. Poop to that, I proclaim!". Think about
it, though... </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1) They're cheap. Sometimes free. And the look pretty darned
good. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2) They are crazy easy to transport.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3) If you bash them up, you can always print out new ones.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4) If you aren't using paper terrain at all you are either
insane or rich and insane. Or both.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5) They save you tons of time, because you don't have to paint or assemble them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
6) They also save you time.<br />
7) Have I mentioned the time-saving measures?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
8) Oh, and they're cheap.<br />
8b) In the case of <b>Epic Wargaming</b>, they're FREE.<br />
<br />
Just because they're inexpensive doesn't mean they have to suck, though. <b>Epic
Wargaming</b> shows that you can get good looking little dudes on the cheap AND not
be pointed and laughed at. Be sure to check out their terrain, too.<br />
<br />
You can always use more terrain.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So there you go. Now, be off with you, as you are itching to get to the <b><a href="http://epicwargaming.com/">EPIC WARGAMING SITE</a></b>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
When I get a little time I'll set some of these neat paper minis and terrain up and take some pics.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
--</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Big thanks to Dave for sending me his thoughts and images. As per usual, if you have any questions for me, drop me a comment or <a href="mailto:synabetic@gmail.com">an email</a>.</i></div>
</div>Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-48109054521510390722012-01-20T09:30:00.000-08:002012-01-20T14:33:57.978-08:00Total Party Kill 1/20/12: Necromancing the Bones<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gelWpiCRnTo/TxnBuEBnMoI/AAAAAAAAAa8/dMkcduuJq8g/s1600/Total_Party_Kill_banner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="153" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gelWpiCRnTo/TxnBuEBnMoI/AAAAAAAAAa8/dMkcduuJq8g/s400/Total_Party_Kill_banner.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ahhh, the old banner. Thanks to Elliot (I think) for this one.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Happy Friday, you glorious band of brother, sister and brother/sister nerds.<br />
<br />
Look, I have no idea if I will do this every Friday, but I did want to do two things concerning this blog:<br />
<br />
1) Have an end-of-the-week roundup post, compiling my posts throughout the week, complete with short descriptors so you can peruse at your leisure.<br />
2) Bring back <b>Total Party Kill</b>, an occasional column I did in the past some people seemed to dig.<br />
<br />
So. Here I am, wondering what to do... Ah! I know: I'll make <b>Total Party Kill</b> (TPK) the roundup <i>with</i> some new material.<br />
<br />
Genius.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kMcTQrO-wE4/TxjUhULuqcI/AAAAAAAAAac/Q67qz7EqGIs/s1600/Me_Genius_Motivational_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kMcTQrO-wE4/TxjUhULuqcI/AAAAAAAAAac/Q67qz7EqGIs/s320/Me_Genius_Motivational_poster.jpg" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yup. <i>GENIUS.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div>
<b>More after ze jump!!</b> Comics, minis (well A mini), games and links, oh my! /takeivoice<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Here's the rundown of what has gone on in the last week or so, basically covering the necromancing this blog... in... order:<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>Flashback Montage with Your Mom Time</u></b><br />
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<br />
<i><b><a href="http://grognerd.blogspot.com/2012/01/and-were-back-sort-of.html">And We're Back. Sort of.</a></b></i><br />
This is a very quick announcement about coming back to <b>Diary of a Grognerd</b>. Dunno why you would want to read it... but there you go.<br />
<br />
<b><i><a href="http://grognerd.blogspot.com/2012/01/midnight-mini-pr0n-back-for-space-sn.html">Midnight Mini pr0n: Back for the Space S****n Attack!</a></i></b><br />
Getting back into the swing of things real proper-like, I throw y'all a new chunky-style installment of the beloved* <b>Midnight Mini pr0n</b>! Featured is <b>Mega Miniatures</b> from the USA.<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(*beloved by 34.3 people!)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
<i><b><a href="http://grognerd.blogspot.com/2012/01/ultramarines-well-it-coulda-been.html">ULTRAMARINES: Well, it coulda been Dragonlance</a></b></i><br />
In which I "review" <i><b>Ultramarines: A Warhammer 40,000 Movie</b></i>. I also mention the almost indescribable horror that is the <i><b>Dragonlance</b></i> movie, which I plan to review soon. I hope. Or don't hope.<br />
<br />
<i><b><a href="http://grognerd.blogspot.com/2012/01/midnight-mini-pr0n-crudely-cute-crooked.html">Midnight Mini pr0n: Crudely Cute Crooked Corn Dolls</a></b></i><br />
In which I do a quickie-showy of <b>Crooked Dice</b>'s Cord Doll minis. Corn Dolls in this case are like Scarecrows. Just so you know.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://grognerd.blogspot.com/2012/01/midnight-mini-pr0n-sexy-sexy-shock.html"><b><i>Midnight Mini pr0n: Sexy Sexy Shock Troopers</i></b></a><br />
Bam! Greatcoat Shock Troopers, who look like Future Space Germans from the awesome folks over at <b>Wargames Factory</b>. These plastic-sprue minis are totally worth the look!<br />
<br />
<b><i><a href="http://grognerd.blogspot.com/2012/01/retro-game-safari-fallout-tactics.html">Retro Game Safari: Fallout Tactics</a></i></b><br />
I dive right into my RGS idea and tackle one of the least liked games of the <i><b>Fallout</b></i> franchise-- but I love it! Not so much a review as more of a ramble.<br />
<br />
<b><i><a href="http://grognerd.blogspot.com/2012/01/my-dream-car.html">My Dream Car</a></i></b><br />
Yup. My dream car. In a motivational poster. Yaaaaay!<br />
<br />
And now for the Party Killing...<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>Some Stuff Real Quick...</u></b></div>
<br />
<a href="http://t.co/Sg20bqzr"><b>Here's the Unofficial HackMaster Quick Start Guide</b></a>. (RPG)<br />
<i><b><a href="http://www.kenzerco.com/hackmaster/">HackMaster</a></b></i>. It's an awesome game you should play with your friends and stuff. Especially if you love old school AD&D (and if you have friends), but want something a little more beefed up than the usual retro-clone-- but also don't want to relive their Chartmaster days. Remember Chartmaster? If you don't, you are a lucky bastard. Then again, I miss playing it. Sigh.<br />
<br />
(I don't need to tell anyone what things like "(RPG)" after them implies, right? Good.)<br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://www.raphkoster.com/2012/01/13/is-immersion-a-core-game-virtue/">Here's a good write-up asking "Is Immersion a Core Game Virtue?"</a> </b>(Videogames)<br />
Seriously. Check it out. Several people I know linked to this. Totally worth a read!<br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://www.newvegasnexus.com/">I spent way too much time at this site the last couple of weeks</a> </b>(Fallout / Videogames)<br />
The <b>New Vegas Nexus</b>... ah, what a great place to get mods as well as read and participate in a lot of shop talk regarding <i><b>Fallout New Vegas</b></i>.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_lo6vKnyA24/TxkL7HKhbKI/AAAAAAAAAak/VivLGpeOwN4/s1600/Fallout_NV_Comic_Panel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="204" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_lo6vKnyA24/TxkL7HKhbKI/AAAAAAAAAak/VivLGpeOwN4/s320/Fallout_NV_Comic_Panel.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Shut up, dude! I know that contact is here <i>somewhere</i>..."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<b><a href="http://www.rebellion.co.uk/judgedreddvszombies">Get this for your iThingy</a> </b>(Judge Dredd / Videogames)<br />
I hear good things about it... Judge Dredd AND killing zombies? Sign me up. I don't have an iPad or iPhone, but... I do hear good things about this. Maybe you have something Apple to play it on, perhaps? If you do, let me know how it is. <span style="font-size: xx-small;">Please?</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gEunoJcpCEc/TxkyESUcJzI/AAAAAAAAAa0/P0rmg1qQjGQ/s1600/dreddvszombiebanner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="47" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gEunoJcpCEc/TxkyESUcJzI/AAAAAAAAAa0/P0rmg1qQjGQ/s400/dreddvszombiebanner.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I would give my funting left nut to play this on my drokking devices.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>...annnd Comic Fists of Fury and Doom!</u></b></div>
<br />
What we got here are some comics I've read I'd like to briefly mention. Naturally, my age old lethality scale for rating still applies. Don't worry, it's easy to figure out. I wish I could cover all the comics I read, but I hope these do for now. I'll be covering comics here and there anyway in blog posts, and then collating said mini-review (or, if I'm feeling crazy, full reviews) in the TPK posts. As for these sorta-reviews, don't expect a lot of detail. Click on those links and see what details are to be had, kids.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2ReZayae-AQ/TxesIcXOoeI/AAAAAAAAAaU/oHrvcrgK6R0/s1600/ghost_rider_8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2ReZayae-AQ/TxesIcXOoeI/AAAAAAAAAaU/oHrvcrgK6R0/s1600/ghost_rider_8.jpg" /></a></div>
<b><a href="http://marvel.com/comic_books/issue/39924/ghost_rider_2011_8">Ghost Rider #8</a></b><br />
I am HIGHLY enjoying Rob Williams' run on <i>Ghost Rider</i> so far. After Jason Aaron's amazing run, I was worried good ol' GR would start to suck again. But hey, all things comic book can be approved by throwing a great <i>2000 AD</i> writer at 'em, right? This seems to be the case. It's just the right balance of silly, spooky and downright screwed up that I enjoy. Some other people out there may say "The new Ghost Rider is a rip-roaring ride etc etc" and throw in "rollicking kick-ass adventure", too-- which would be completely on the mark. But to me? To me my pullquote that will never be pulled it: "Rob's new Ghost Rider will make you cry 'FUCKNOODLES' and beg for more. It's always at fever pitch, even when there's an advertisement-- Ghost Rider even make <i>those</i> better! After yer done readin' you'll immolate yourself just trying to get over the good time you just had and you may never have again if you read his <i><b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Low_Life_(comics)">Low Life</a></b></i> or other such materials. The artists have varied, and I was happy to see Matthew Clark on a few issues... but this latest issue doesn't have him on it. **I should probably talk a little about the latest issue, eh?** Well, the new Ghost Rider-- who's a woman who's 18-- is adventure-questing around and in this issue she faces Hawkeye. Two things spring immediately to mind: Primus) I like this Hawkeye. And there I thought I was stuck only liking Ultimate Hawkeye. Yay! and Secundus) If Ghost Rider is basically fiery bones with clothes on, does this mean the new Ghost Rider has flame breasts? Seriously, I want to know. I mean, you can see that she has boobs, looking at her from the outside. Unless she's hiding cute little Hedgehogs of Vengeance under there. Completely possible, I suppose. What? Oh, right. So Johnny Blaze and Hawkeye team up-- this is where I should mention that Ghost Rider isn't Johnny Blaze anymore and in the process of the story, girl GR is captured while adventure is being had. Look, it isn't going to cure cancer, but new Ghost Rider run might be just the thing people with cancer need in order to get a very good and very needed laugh. I laughed quite a bit reading this. It's also rather corny. And there's lots of THOOOOOM!!!s and fire happening. Hey, it's Ghost Rider, what did you expect? Uh, you probably still don't know what the issue is about. Tell you what: Go pick it up. Pick up the previous issues. Sit down with a nice cold beverage of your choice. Starting reading and prepare to ruin the shit outta your comics because your going to be spitting that beverage everywhere. Then again, I may have a spitting problem. YMMV.<br />
<b>Lethality</b>: Five brave adventurers left to fight Asmodeus and his dread Nightmare. Now Asmodeus wears two of them as capes, one as a codpiece, and another as a fancy scarf. One of the party returned. She's pretty torn up and still has a sucking chest wound.<br />
<b><br /></b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fMn-8gejjpI/Txen11BM6dI/AAAAAAAAAZs/SBDO7bcDMoo/s1600/deadlands_Blac_Water.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fMn-8gejjpI/Txen11BM6dI/AAAAAAAAAZs/SBDO7bcDMoo/s1600/deadlands_Blac_Water.jpg" /></a></div>
<b><a href="http://www.imagecomics.com/comics/4233/Deadlands-Black-Water-One-Shot-">Deadlands: Black Water</a></b><br />
Like westerns? Like weird westerns? Like horror? Like steamcthulhuetcpunk-type stuff? Like the occult, in the west, with trains and ghosts? If you answered " yellow toaster" to any of these questions, you may have had a stroke recently. If your answered "yes" to any of 'em, then you should pick this one-shot badboy up. I guess this is the "final of four one-shots". Huh. No one telegraphed me about the other three, and I saw this and picked it up. I was just stoked to see the RPG <i>Deadlands</i> in comic book format! For some reason, the story that plays out reminds me of <b><i><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078240/">The Shadow of Chikara</a></i></b> (aka <i>The Curse of Demon Mountain</i>) which scared the shit out of me when I was five. I mean, their not the same story, but my inner five year-old squeed a little bit. He also peed his pants a little, too. Overall, a fun ghost story with monsters that doesn't beat you over the head with tentacles (but there <i>is</i> a giant eel!). The Dime-Store Back-Up story was great, too. This book, overall, is fast-paced, eerie, creepy and exciting-- <span style="font-size: x-small;">which is like just saying eerie and exciting, but anyway</span>-- which is a a hard combination to pull off. The writing is strong, dialog excellent and the art more than passable. It's actually quite nice, in fact. My only beef are the word balloons. They're square. Call that a personal peeve... It shouldn't detract from the wonderful art and stories. Oh, and you can probably guess what the "black water" is. Yeah, it's what you're thinking but much, much darker and spookier. I'll have to pick the other 3 one-shots up now. Thanks "Black Water", you just made me spend 12 more bucks. Which in Canada comes with 16 million dollars in taxes.If you want even more information on the <i>Deadlands</i> comics, please visit the people behind them at <b><a href="http://visionarycomics.com/">Visionary Comics</a></b>. Click, goddamn you--CLICK.<br />
<b>Lethality</b>: Those adventuring pardners saddle up and mosied out to some kinda labyrinth out on the plains, I reckon. Seems that there were six of them, and one came back with the headless corpse of the gunslinger.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WqDXKY9sICE/Txel8ZGbQdI/AAAAAAAAAZU/XmYdObuh5Vs/s1600/deadpool_max_4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WqDXKY9sICE/Txel8ZGbQdI/AAAAAAAAAZU/XmYdObuh5Vs/s1600/deadpool_max_4.jpg" /></a></div>
<b><a href="http://marvel.com/comic_books/issue/32232/deadpool_max_2010_4">Deadpool MAX II #4</a></b><br />
Continuing on with yet another fucking fuckballs fun-crazy run of <i>Deadpool MAX</i>, writer David Lapham and artist Kyle Baker create the anti-shit sandwich and make vulgar, borderline psychotic freaks like myself weep tears of joy. If you've been living in the trunk of a heavily abused Kia sedan for the past few years, the Marvel MAX line is for the comics they make for grownups. Kinda like Marvel's version of Vertigo. Well, there's no "kinda" about it. One company is "latte" and the other is "mocha" (no, no chai, hippies); but in the end they're both just goddamned coffee drinks for whiny overpriv-- well, poop, sorry, I was going off on a tear there. So, yup, this shit is awesome. Deadpool is still on the run with Hydra Bob, who is trying to keep his weight up. Hilarious hijinx ensue and Lapham and Baker get to show off what kind of twisted humans they really are. Now, I must admit, baker's art is hit and miss for me, and I don't always dig it. But when he's on, he's on. And he's doodling one of my favorite comic series I have ever read, so I'm not giving him shit. I do like another artist who has popped up, but I'm too damned lazy to look him-- <i>fine</i>-- Shawn Crystal. He kicked ass on #3. But some part of me can't imagine Baker NOT on Deadpool MAX, sooooo... I'm gonna stop digging that hole. Regardless of all that, if you have a sense of humor that ought to land you in jail half the time, you need to read this title. Like, now. Oh, and what else happens in issue #4? Stuff. And boobies.And Bob lost some weight. But not too much.<br />
<b>Lethality</b>: Five adventurers delved deep into the caves of Kia, and they would have made if it hadn't been for those clockwork dire weasels armed with Pliers +7. What came back was part of a torso of what we <i>think</i> is/was the cleric. Four and a half out of five party members: DEAD.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VtK8Wy1QrRk/TxelWV-XSNI/AAAAAAAAAZM/jR1uh7qut6Q/s1600/prog2012_cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VtK8Wy1QrRk/TxelWV-XSNI/AAAAAAAAAZM/jR1uh7qut6Q/s1600/prog2012_cover.jpg" /></a></div>
<b><a href="http://www.2000adonline.com/news/14-12-2011/the_prog_of_the_year_is_here/">2000 AD: Prog 2012</a></b><br />
EEEEeeee! Pure zarjaz! I was excited to get my eyes on this... <i>Judge Dredd</i>, <i>Nikolai Dante</i>, <i>Absalom</i>, <i>Grey Area</i>, <i>Dandridge</i>, <i>Sinister Dexter</i> and <i>Strontium Dog</i> comics pack this annual issue. A new one, <i>Aquila</i>, is a comic set in ancient Rome and written by one of my fave writers ever, Gordon Rennie. Another Steve-Fave crawling throughout this issue is Dan Abnett. Also: <i>Strontium Dog</i> by John Wagner and Carlos Ezquerra. Sweet. Reading through the thrills (comics), I would say this is not only a treat for lifelong 2000 AD fans but is also a great prog (issue) to make a newbie's starting point. While this whole thing is a delicious treat of nerdsylvania, the stand-outs to me were: Sinister Dexter; because everything is better if you just cross Dredd, Johnny Alpha and Wulf Sternhammer over into it and ensure it's done well, and, of course, Aquila: because I've been waiting for an awesome Roman-era comic (<i>Caligula</i> notwithstanding), and it has fun writing and great "doomgritty" and "grimdark" art. Why go into it any further? It's a bunch of awesome violent British sci-fi/fantasy/weird comics you have to read-- in one affordable volume. And there's Xmas stories. How could it be bad? Science says it can't. Plus it's ONE HUNDRED PAGES.<br />
<b>Lethality</b>: 9 out of 10 party member perish in a gruesome yet amusing manner. That's it, really.<br />
<br />
<br />
I'll be writing more comic book mini-reviews/takes/blabs throughout the week.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>Also: Mini pr0n!</u></b></div>
<b><br /></b><br />
And what would this blog if I didn't unleash some Mini pr0n?? Probably nothing, that's what. Or whatever the hell it is now...<br />
<br />
Please feat your eyes on <b><a href="http://www.rafm.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=RAF&Product_Code=RAF02852&Category_Code=USXMin">Fallout Girl from RAFM Miniatures</a></b>:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eZUFPCSYoC0/TxknK62wU0I/AAAAAAAAAas/bzy4_6Qw9fY/s1600/tpk_fallout_girl_mini.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="273" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eZUFPCSYoC0/TxknK62wU0I/AAAAAAAAAas/bzy4_6Qw9fY/s320/tpk_fallout_girl_mini.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">When she tells you she's washing her hair, don't argue with her.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
30mm of pure gaming awesomeness right there. Not only does she appeal to Fallout fans in general, but she'll work in just about any post-apoc and/or sci-fi minis game or roleplaying game. I can see her in a zombie apocalypse game, as well. Hell, I can see her in a Star Wars game.Very nice mini, RAFM.<br />
<b>Lethality</b>: Four of the five party members are killed. The fifth is left gibbering for the rest of his life.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>Und Finally: The Vorpal Wrap-Up</u></b></div>
<br />
Holy crap, I've written a nice amount of stuff. I planned on writing more, and from the looks of it, a lot more. Well, here's to being inconsistent, then, because I think I'll call it a night (it's last night when I'm writing this-- and knowing is half the battle). You know, one of the things that kept me from doing TPKs more often before was me trying to have a format... which would lead to me trying to fill too much space... which led to me getting stressed. Too stressed. But this is for fun, and I like having fun. Let's say, for now anyway, that every TPK will be different but will include something about games and comics. Cool? It's a deal then.<br />
<br />
Besides, we don't want huuuuge posts you have to read through. Best much of the Grognerd content is broken up into various posts.<br />
<br />
Throughout the next week I'll be playing <i><b>Judge Dredd: Dredd vs. Death</b></i> and then talking about it for the next installment of Retro Game Safari. Big ups and zarjaz high-fives go out to reader Kelvin Green for insisting I re-play that game.<br />
<br />
Your comments are always welcome, <a href="mailto:synabetic@gmail.com">as are you emails</a>. I always need links to new stuff and <i>such </i>sights to be shown to me. I'll even give credit where credit is due, if yer alright with it.<br />
<br />
My ninja-colored d20 has rolled a 19! Critical exiting success.<br />
<br />
<br />
--<br />
Please Note: Many of the images I've lifted belong to their respective owners. They're from the sites of the products discussed. If any owner of an image has a problem with me posting them to this blog, <a href="mailto:synabetic@gmail.com">please drop me a line</a> to let me know. Thanks!<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-82842782038045120782012-01-18T18:54:00.000-08:002012-01-18T19:15:15.238-08:00My Dream CarAs per a conversation with my girlfriend earlier, I had an idea. This is eerily similar to the process in which I came up with my <b><a href="http://depressalin.wordpress.com/2012/01/17/update-complete-with-flowchart/">"Is This Depeche Mode?" Flowchart</a></b>, which <b><a href="http://depressalin.wordpress.com/2012/01/17/update-complete-with-flowchart/">you can find over at my Depressalin Blog</a></b>.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(Do you think two links are enough?)</span><br />
<br />
So, there we were, walking through the snow. Night walks in the snow are the best, aren't they? So, yeah, there we were and this camo-painted VW bug goes rolling by. Then we start talking about what we would do with our fave types of car... And I decided I would get a Mad Max Interceptor-like vehicle and paint it <b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woodland_(camouflage)">woodland camouflage</a></b> or something. Or maybe the camo the Germans wore in <b><a href="http://www.by-the-sword.com/acatalog/M18_German_Helmet_Camouflage_Pattern_WWI_AH-6044Pc.html">WWI</a>.</b><br />
<b><br /></b><br />
But I do need one very important feature covered concerning my dream car.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tA-RKcFKRos/TxeFVBStqWI/AAAAAAAAAY8/WkyXex6iH-U/s1600/Road_Warrior_Motivational_Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tA-RKcFKRos/TxeFVBStqWI/AAAAAAAAAY8/WkyXex6iH-U/s320/Road_Warrior_Motivational_Poster.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://bighugelabs.com/motivator.php"><b><span style="font-size: x-small;">Created using this</span></b></a>.Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-51782496327140660152012-01-18T16:02:00.000-08:002012-01-20T14:37:14.737-08:00Retro Game Safari: Fallout Tactics<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wzC3INLwCYk/TxVKuO4kX6I/AAAAAAAAAWw/po_qetY6iQ0/s1600/Fallout_Tactics_cover_small.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wzC3INLwCYk/TxVKuO4kX6I/AAAAAAAAAWw/po_qetY6iQ0/s1600/Fallout_Tactics_cover_small.jpg" /></a>Howdy! This here is something I like to call <b>Retro Game Safari</b>. I suppose it could apply to whatever games out there that are old, but right now I'm focusing on videogames. The first <b>RGS</b> here will cover my thoughts on <i><b><a href="http://www.gog.com/en/gamecard/fallout_tactics">Fallout Tactics: Brotherhood of Steel</a></b></i>-- but everyone just calls it <i>Fallout Tactics</i> or, more simply, <b>FOT</b>.<br />
<br />
The point here isn't to provide a comprehensive review, like you can find here, here, here, or a zillion other places. Let's be honest, kids: Since its release into the gaming wilds in 2001, this game has been reviewed to death. No, no in depth review from me. The point here is to provide my sentimental thoughts or personal critical take on this particular ancient relic of gaming history.<br />
<br />
What's that you say? Not ancient? Dude, this is from 2001, which in PC gaming terms is, like, forever ago. Luckily it's not TOO forever ago, and is still quite playable. Oh, sure, people will rave about how <i>Ultima IV</i> is the best game ever and that you should totally play the Gold Box SSI AD&D CRPGs (like <i>Pool of Radiance </i>and<i> Secret of the Silver Blades</i>) again. I don't know about you, but I feel those games are best left shrouded in the mists of rose-tinted memories. Have you went back and played any of those titles? Have you? Personally, after I attempted playing through a couple, I quickly backed away and now burn myself with a cigarette every time I think about playing through the original <i>Bard's Tale</i>s and <i>Wasteland</i>...<br />
<br />
...And speaking of <i>Wasteland</i>, let's talk <i>Fallout Tactics</i>!<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><b>VrrrrrrrrrmmmmmMMMMMMM</b>: <i>Time machine</i>, bitches.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><br />
<b>More after ze JUMP!</b><br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /><br />
<br />
It's been quite some time since I've played this game. <i>Fallout</i> and I go way back, as far back as <i><b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wasteland_(video_game)">Wasteland</a></b></i>, actually, which is considered to be the spiritual predecessor for the <i>Fallout</i> series.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VtzrVdcmCY4/TxYlCVlu0oI/AAAAAAAAAXM/5w0XcKXP6ZY/s1600/Wasteland_animated_title.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VtzrVdcmCY4/TxYlCVlu0oI/AAAAAAAAAXM/5w0XcKXP6ZY/s1600/Wasteland_animated_title.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Stolen from ze Wikipedias.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
1988 wasn't THAT long ago, right?<br />
<br />
Um, anyways, yeah, so eventually, Interplay had MicroForte do <i>Fallout Tactics</i>, which is a bit of a departure from <i>Fallout 1</i> and <i>2</i>. See, from what I understand, FOT isn't exactly Fallout "canon", which is NerdSpeak for "not really a part of the accepted fantasy pretend universe I love and cherish; so fuck you". FOT deviates from Fallout Canon in a few ways by not syncing up exactly with timelines someone might have pooped out in a drunken and/or glue-induced stupor, having weapons that aren't "Fallout Cannon" (<b><i>HAW</i></b>. <b>Haw</b>.), and numerous other things I don't think I give a shit about.<br />
<br />
Nope. Not one teeny shit.<br />
<br />
What I care about is fun, and this is coming from a guy who's educated in history and feels The History Channel is the equivalent of a douchey <i><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortean_Times">Fortean Times</a>*</i>. And fun FOT has! If you were ever like "I sure wish <i>Fallout 2</i> had squad level combat and more combat and less RPG elements so my d00ds can shoot more rpgs and things like faces, more faces, and maybe a face or two" then you are in for a fan-<i>fucking</i>-tastic treat. Coated in bacon, even.<br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(*sincere apologies to the people at Fortean Times-- comparing you to THC is probably going to far... heh: THC)</span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bgtc97iu_rU/TxdUncJw7FI/AAAAAAAAAYs/EhVVB2W8IS0/s1600/Fallout_Tactics_GOG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bgtc97iu_rU/TxdUncJw7FI/AAAAAAAAAYs/EhVVB2W8IS0/s320/Fallout_Tactics_GOG.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">BOOM! Borrowed from <b><a href="http://www.gog.com/">GOG</a></b>. I'll give it back, I swear.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
Wheras <i>Fallout 2</i> expanded on <i>Fallout</i> with improved gameplay, an even better story, and even bigger world and an even better even every even thing, FOT says "fuck that" and allows you to live and re-live most violent fantasies you've had. Sadly, it's not in first person, and is a non-zoomable isometric view kinda thing. But, hey: <b>2001</b>. Live with it.<br />
<br />
Playing through FOT again is a real treat. You have your dudes, you go on missions for the Brotherhood of Steel splinter faction you're a part of--<br />
<br />
Oh yeah: SPOILERS! Not like it matters. But just in case, there you go.<br />
<br />
--and eventually the story, which rides the rails like a champ (did I mention it's not very open-ended?), leads you through all kinds of scenarios and cool stuff, like questing for Vault Zero, the Beastlords of St. Louis (proving not much has changed post-apocalypse), slogging through Kansas and Colorado and basically having a good time and eventually maybe sticking it to the Calculator. You know, for Freedom<span style="background-color: black; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">™</span></span>.<br />
<br />
And much-much more is to be had whilst tromping around working for the Chi-Town Bros of Steel. There are zeppelins, too!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9DlKkxULHnU/TxdNt8Iqz8I/AAAAAAAAAYU/EPwIOHB0PWA/s1600/fallout_tactics_zeppelin_art.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="236" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9DlKkxULHnU/TxdNt8Iqz8I/AAAAAAAAAYU/EPwIOHB0PWA/s320/fallout_tactics_zeppelin_art.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thieved from this <b>Fallout Wiki</b> entry <a href="http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Airship">HERE</a>. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Well, okay, fine, crashed zeppelins.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BwSfrVKXO_o/TxdO-ZtEFII/AAAAAAAAAYc/arZBtnYCWUE/s1600/Fallout_tactics_zeppelin_actually_from_arcanum.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="175" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BwSfrVKXO_o/TxdO-ZtEFII/AAAAAAAAAYc/arZBtnYCWUE/s320/Fallout_tactics_zeppelin_actually_from_arcanum.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I suppose I can't blame IGN; even for this one.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Oh, right. That's from <i><b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arcanum:_Of_Steamworks_and_Magick_Obscura">Arcanum</a></b></i>. I'll talk about that amazing game some other time. I have no in-game screenshots of crashed zepps from FOT.<br />
<br />
Moving RIGHT along...<br />
<br />
You can have ghouls, super mutants, dogs, robots and deathclaws in your squad... which can lead to squee-inducing images involving deathclaws like this one:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oLrSsWi3lrw/TxdQoq7rwVI/AAAAAAAAAYk/a-Al0fOUeCg/s1600/Deathclaws_in_UR_base.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oLrSsWi3lrw/TxdQoq7rwVI/AAAAAAAAAYk/a-Al0fOUeCg/s320/Deathclaws_in_UR_base.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stolened from <a href="http://media.photobucket.com/image/fallout%20tactics%20deathclaw/albyhys/iviewcapture_date_26_12_2007_tim-3.jpg">HERE</a>.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Character creation is very similar to the previous<i> Fallout</i>s, except that certain perks are changed for a more tactical game, or simply removed for the same reasons. Naturally, there are a few new perks specifically created for FOT. Still, it's the <b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S.P.E.C.I.A.L.">S.P.E.C.I.A.L.</a></b> system we all know and love...<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-S1ftBqobzwI/TxdWdbN2ZCI/AAAAAAAAAY0/Rj8etBuOqho/s1600/FOT_char_creation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-S1ftBqobzwI/TxdWdbN2ZCI/AAAAAAAAAY0/Rj8etBuOqho/s320/FOT_char_creation.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Also taken from <b><a href="http://www.gog.com/">GOG</a></b>.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
There's also a shitload of weapons and equipment to choose from, find, have fall into your lap by wayward pelicans-- may be lying about that-- and some many kewl little details that I found myself very satisfied.<br />
<br />
I also totally dig how I can change many things about how the game plays. Do I want turn-based, squad-turn based and real-time play? What should the violence level be? Just how much of a wussy am I? Excellent selection.<br />
<br />
Does it replace or even match up to the majesty of <i>Fallout 2</i>? Not really. Will you forsake <i>Fallout 3</i> and <i>Fallout New Vegas</i> for this game? Hell, no. Or, at least I hope you wouldn't. Look, I understand there are serious diehards who not only hate this "non-canon stuff that pooped on my mom's face" game in particular, and they're usually the same ones who think Bethesda created the AIDS virus. But, come on, tis game is a real peach and the new Fallouts are a godsend.<br />
<br />
Naturally, that's just my opinion. Your mileage may vary. I may still think you are <i><b><span style="font-size: large;">CRAZY</span></b></i> for thinking otherwise.<br />
<br />
But hey, some people like scat-porn and donkey shows, too. Who am I to judge?<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">No. I'm not posting an image here. Screw you.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
All nasty-kidding aside, most of you Fallout types should enjoy FOT. Some of you won't. But if you're like me (you poor, poor soul) then you'll get a kick out of this now-oldie-but-goody.<br />
<br />
There's not much more I can say unless I launch into a very in-depth review. I don't think I will do that as I have other things to do currently, like wonder why my bellybutton collects more and more weird crap each passing year. Anyways, <b><a href="http://justfuckinglougleit.com/">Google</a></b> is your friend. Sometimes Google isn't <i>my</i> friend... sometimes Google steals my tacos and brings up painful childhood memories. But, through that dick Google, you can find tons more stuff on <i>Fallout Tactics</i>.<br />
<br />
You want an in-depth review from me? FINE.<br />
<br />
Play it. It rules. The End. Happy?<br />
<br />
Now, I've noticed games like this are VERY popular in Europe, especially Eastern Europe, and especially-<i>especially</i> in Russia. I think that's pretty freaking cool, man. While I was hunting around for images and screenshots for FOT, I came across this neatness:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-VJkmhnc-qG8/TxVPuz7E7II/AAAAAAAAAW4/_eE54O02Jhc/s1600/Fallout_Tactics_Image_from_RPG-Land.ru.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-VJkmhnc-qG8/TxVPuz7E7II/AAAAAAAAAW4/_eE54O02Jhc/s320/Fallout_Tactics_Image_from_RPG-Land.ru.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption">It seems way more badass in Russian.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
This was lifted from <b>RPG Land</b>, and <a href="http://www.rpg-land.ru/review/obzor-fallout-tactics-brotherhood-steel">you can find the specific post here</a>. Oh, why not-- here's another:<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RzAftVA2KaE/TxXlPf0B7EI/AAAAAAAAAXA/Kq-LI_JF_fk/s1600/Fallout_Tactics_image_2_from_rpg_land.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RzAftVA2KaE/TxXlPf0B7EI/AAAAAAAAAXA/Kq-LI_JF_fk/s320/Fallout_Tactics_image_2_from_rpg_land.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Way</i> more badass in Russian. Hey, isn't that Johnny Alpha??</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
So, what are you waiting for, you unwashed, slavering, horrible unrepentant bastards? <b><a href="http://www.gog.com/en/gamecard/fallout_tactics">Head on over to Good Old Games (aka GOG) and buy yourself a copy of FOT</a></b>. Seriously: $5.99. That's it. And it's a small price to pay for such an awesome game. It's like a time-machine that's perfect with the only notable exception being it doesn't give you hand-jobs.<br />
<br />
All games are DRM free, and (most) install on newer machines just fine. I love the GOG installer, honestly.
<br />
<br />
Or, if you're me, reinstall <i>Fallout Tactics</i> and be thankful you'll never have to uninstall it again because it takes up such little space these days. Thanks, technology!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
And did I mention FOT takes place in a post-nuclear world of grim and perilous adventure?<br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
That's all I got for <i>Fallout Tactics</i>. Hope you don't want to stab me <i>too</i> much.<br />
<br />
I must decide what I will play next and do a write-up on... I need suggestions. This is where I force you to comment or <b><a href="mailto:synabetic@gmail.com">email me</a></b>. Right now, the currently installed choices are:<br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arcanum:_Of_Steamworks_and_Magick_Obscura">Arcanum: Of Steamworks and Magick Obscura</a></b><br />
<b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judge_Dredd:_Dredd_Vs._Death">Judge Dredd: Dredd vs Death</a></b><br />
<b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Theft_Auto:_San_Andreas">Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas</a></b><br />
<b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fallout_2">Fallout 2</a></b><br />
<b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MDK_(video_game)">MDK</a></b><br />
<b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaos_gate">Warhammer 40,000: Chaos Gate</a></b><br />
<br />
There's more to choose from on this machine, but let's keep at those for now.<br />
<br />
I'm going to go enjoy the snowpocalypse outside. Cheers!<br />
<br />Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-21257593261075425192012-01-18T00:00:00.000-08:002012-01-18T02:10:03.491-08:00Midnight Mini pr0n: Sexy Sexy Shock Troopers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gwtKO-3bPiw/TxZwpW4t-yI/AAAAAAAAAX8/wOYMhuk4HgM/s1600/shock_troops_w_logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gwtKO-3bPiw/TxZwpW4t-yI/AAAAAAAAAX8/wOYMhuk4HgM/s1600/shock_troops_w_logo.jpg" /></a><span style="text-align: left;"></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="text-align: left;">OOooooYEAH! It's time to get down with another Mini pr0n-- at Midnight, even. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="text-align: left;">Have a short one in store for you (again), but I'd like to keep these short, you know? Cuz... well, cuz I'm kinda busy and lazy and busy being lazy.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://www.wargamesfactory.com/">Wargames Factory</a></b> stormed the market not all that long ago with very decently designed and affordable plastic kits. I've dug what they've thrown at us so far, but the one I really, REALLY geek out over is their <b><a href="http://www.wargamesfactory.com/webstore/alien-suns/shock-troops-sci-fi-greatcoat-troopers">Greatcoat Shock Troopers</a></b>.<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LUKoyfB22RI/TxZs5P162zI/AAAAAAAAAXU/RbGuL30pmYM/s1600/wargames_factory_shock_troopers_box.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="237" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LUKoyfB22RI/TxZs5P162zI/AAAAAAAAAXU/RbGuL30pmYM/s320/wargames_factory_shock_troopers_box.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bring on the SEXY.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Or Shock Troops. Or Greatcoat Troopers-- what<i>evs</i>. It's from their Alien Suns line, which also has...<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mJTPjxrve88/TxZuEJ_h74I/AAAAAAAAAXc/y4qP7x5EWoo/s1600/wargames_factory_heavyweapons_shock_troops.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mJTPjxrve88/TxZuEJ_h74I/AAAAAAAAAXc/y4qP7x5EWoo/s1600/wargames_factory_heavyweapons_shock_troops.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">buh-LAM! Now THAT is Bitch Puddin'.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Anyways, let's keep this about the Greatcoats. Essentially "Ze Germans" of Spaaaaace... And it never gets old.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-96rV5xm84c8/TxZvSjQVi-I/AAAAAAAAAXk/pgn4Mf2IxDA/s1600/wargames_factory_shock_troops.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-96rV5xm84c8/TxZvSjQVi-I/AAAAAAAAAXk/pgn4Mf2IxDA/s320/wargames_factory_shock_troops.jpg" width="247" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Und keep zem up!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
No. I am not being sarcastic. Not being sarcastic <i>there</i>, either. I don't know about you, but I love this shit. And if you're not participating in any official "tourneys" or whatever, and you like like playing something that sounds akin to "Imperial Guard" or "Traitor Guardsmen", then these cheap and well-done plastic minis will do <b>nicely</b>.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-z5ipsedj6B0/TxZvf1SMXLI/AAAAAAAAAXs/Wty8eMb0jZ4/s1600/wargames_factory_shock_troops_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-z5ipsedj6B0/TxZvf1SMXLI/AAAAAAAAAXs/Wty8eMb0jZ4/s320/wargames_factory_shock_troops_2.jpg" width="290" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Und zen I shot Herr Gaunt in ze face."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Personally, I can find all kinds of uses for them. From <i>Weird War</i> type RPG stuff to <i>Dark Heresy</i> and <i>Rogue Trader</i> RPG goodness to<i> Judge Dredd</i> and <i>Traveller</i> and <i>Gamma World</i>. In fact-- well, in fact, I can't help but wonder what mixing up some of these plastic kits with other kits Wargames factory has to offer... Like this:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yk-IIkPpT5w/TxZx5quao0I/AAAAAAAAAYE/KPsr4EGvFP4/s1600/wargames_factory_zombies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yk-IIkPpT5w/TxZx5quao0I/AAAAAAAAAYE/KPsr4EGvFP4/s320/wargames_factory_zombies.jpg" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Sssshocktrooper brainssss..."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Mixed up with a bit of this:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-G2fH-wQgjvY/TxZyVDn32lI/AAAAAAAAAYM/tL33HS7EGHg/s1600/wargames_factory_romans.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-G2fH-wQgjvY/TxZyVDn32lI/AAAAAAAAAYM/tL33HS7EGHg/s320/wargames_factory_romans.jpg" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Vendi, vidi, vici-- time to take Space France!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
All in all, a great selection of stuff. <b><a href="http://www.wargamesfactory.com/webstore">See for yourself</a></b>!<br />
<br />
And the best part? I'm in Canada and ordering one of these sets only costs me just over $25 when shipping is thrown in. Awesome!! I can see myself ordering lots of these in the future.<br />
<br />
I mean, it's important that I construct my Undead Space Roman Shock Troops, right?<br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Quick Update: All pictures pulled from the Wargames Factory's site!)</span></i><br />
<br />Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-86694819154660198602012-01-16T00:00:00.000-08:002012-01-16T00:06:33.908-08:00Midnight Mini pr0n: Crudely Cute Crooked Corn Dolls<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Got a <i>very</i> short installment of The Mini pr0n for you...<br />
<br />
Check these out:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZhF2GKVYCVw/TxPUEtAP0AI/AAAAAAAAAWo/iBgHJeVUBY4/s1600/corndolls_minis_painted.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZhF2GKVYCVw/TxPUEtAP0AI/AAAAAAAAAWo/iBgHJeVUBY4/s320/corndolls_minis_painted.jpg" width="264" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"...and if we hear ANY more 'Thriller in Indiana' jokes..."<br />
<br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Brought to you by the fine, twisted minds of <b><a href="http://www.crooked-dice.co.uk/">Crooked Dice Game Design Studio</a></b>. They not only have minis, but they also do games, as well.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<a href="http://www.crooked-dice.co.uk/store3.html">Read more about their amazing Corn Dolls, dammit</a>.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
You can see more more of what they have to offer, like <i><b><a href="http://www.crooked-dice.co.uk/store/images/lg-eavies.jpg">A Clockwork Orange-ish</a></b></i> minis, in their <a href="http://www.crooked-dice.co.uk/minis.html">miniatures section here</a>. Good prices and decent shipping rates, if you ask me. Hopefully I'll get around to ordering the Corn Dolls when I get a chance.<br />
<br />
I can see a serious What the Fucking Fuck Moment occurring in a Dark Heresy game when I toss these guys at my players...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
That's all the Midnight Mini pr0n you get for now. Sleep tight!<br />
<br />
--</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Questions? Suggestions? Adoring words of love and raccoons? Hit me as hard as you can in the comments or <a href="mailto:synabetic@gmail.com">email me</a>.<br />
<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-71475790180054794252012-01-15T22:33:00.000-08:002012-01-15T22:50:28.238-08:00ULTRAMARINES: Well, it coulda been Dragonlance<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i><br />
<i>Ultramarine? Your mom is an Ultramarine!</i></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DaLs4YiDLSw/TxKj9FybMNI/AAAAAAAAAWA/5-l0gQnwnYU/s1600/Ultramarines_chaplin.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697796748498120914" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DaLs4YiDLSw/TxKj9FybMNI/AAAAAAAAAWA/5-l0gQnwnYU/s400/Ultramarines_chaplin.jpg" style="display: block; height: 225px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"My mother is an Imperial Fist. Dick."</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<br />
<div>
Last night my girlfriend and I watched <a href="http://ultramarinesthemovie.com/index.php"><i><b>Ultramarines: A Warhammer 40,00</b></i> <i><b>Movie</b></i></a>. Now, I've seen it before. I liked it before about as much as I liked it again: "Meh" comes to mind. And truth be told, I hate it when people "meh" things. Have a fucking opinion or don't, but don't be all like "meh".</div>
<br />
Well, I do have an opinion, and aside from whining on Facebook once or twice, I don't think I've said anything on this subject as of yet.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
What exactly is <i>Ultramarines</i>? <b><a href="http://ultramarinesthemovie.com/about.php">Here, read the synopsis</a></b>. My lazy ass will not be bothered to write it out for you. I'll wait.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
zzzzZZZZZ--huh??? Oh, uh, welcome back!<br />
<br />
Now if you plan on seeing it before you're tainted by opinions and such, I recommend the stopping of the readings of this entry right now and go watch the film. Then come back and decide if you think I taste like taint or not. Go. Now.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
As for the rest of you... (or you who has come back-- welcome back, again, blah blah etc)<br />
<br />
Tasting taint-- in <i>Ultramarines</i>, you totally<i> can</i> according to the Apothecary.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
My girlfriend knows nothing about Warhammer 40k and so while she felt some scenes were cool and neat-o, nothing really grabbed her. Also, the animation was jerky, bland and bothersome. Sadly, I have to completely agree. There were moments of "FETH YEAH!", but they were few and far between. If you've had no experience with Warhammer 40,000, then you are better off not watching <i>Ultramarines</i>, as it will leave you confused... and stuck listening to the hyper-jabber of some mouth-fapping rabid fanboy.<br />
<br />
For the record: I'd like to say "I'm sorry" to my girlfriend.<br />
<br />
It has good voice acting and some decent action sequences, but overall it feels shallow and hollow. I have a feeling the script, penned by The Mighty Dan Abnett, was probably stronger-- or was intended to be better-- before we see what we, well, saw. I don't expect award-winning storytelling, mind, just action pulp with a rollicking good shoot 'em up, decapitations and whirring blades of death & dismemberment and such.<br />
<br />
<i>Ultramarines</i> at least has the death and dismemberment down.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Lw562FitZL4/TxPA7taWr5I/AAAAAAAAAWI/U-ksix5FBPc/s1600/Ultramarines_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Lw562FitZL4/TxPA7taWr5I/AAAAAAAAAWI/U-ksix5FBPc/s320/Ultramarines_2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Get some.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
In a nutshell, the story is thus (Spoilers! for you whiners out there):<br />
<br />
-Young Marines go on first combat mission (weren't they Scouts for years first??).<br />
-Said Marines are led by a kick-ass Captain and have a grizzled vet as an Apothecary.<br />
- An "Apothecary" is a medic guy who patches up the wounded and collects a fallen Marine's gene seed.<br />
- No, "gene seed" is not a euphemism.<br />
-They go someplace.<br />
-Someplace where other Marines have been slaughtered.<br />
-Chaos Space Marines fresh from the Chaos Space Marine Factory show up.<br />
-Stuff happens. Boom bang biff pow. Captain dies.<br />
-Also: Violence.<br />
-They try to get back with the MacGuffin they found.<br />
-Big fight happens. Action. Dead Captain shows up to hand out asses like candy corn.<br />
-Surprise! More violence.<br />
-Surviving Marines go back to Homebaseshipplace.<br />
-Surprise! Captain turns out to be the daemon.<br />
-Did I mention the daemon?<br />
-Oh, and have I mentioned Brits spell "demon" as "daemon"?<br />
-But it's pronounced "dee-mon". Go fig.<br />
-You don't see it coming, but lots of more violence stuff happens.<br />
-Daemon Captain is defeated by Sean Pertwee voiced protagonist...<br />
-...With a special-- wait--just--wait--WARHAMMER, foreshadowed earlier.<br />
-Everyone has a good laugh, snorts coke off hookers' tits and enjoys a donkey show*.<br />
-Full circle-- new Marines are sworn in by the two surviving protagonists.<br />
-<b>Surprise! </b>They swear on a WARHAMMER.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(*I may or may not be making this part up.)</span><br />
<br />
Aside from a metric sump-ton of what I perceived to be oversights, errors, and blatant plot-problems (e.g: Why does an entire company of Imperial Fists defend a Shrine World; and <i>just</i> them? Aren't there only 1000 Imperial Fists <i>anywhere</i> to begin with? Can someone help me with this one??), I was also left feeling sad that there's no sense of scale. The Adeptus Astartes-- Space Marines to you non-geeks-- stand, on average, 8 feet tall (and taller), are enormous ass-beating Angels of Death and Dooooom, but we have no sense of scale since they seem to be the only dudes we see. I suppose we also see some tech-servitor dudes, too, but they don't count. Some Guardsmen, say, on the Shrine World, would have been perfect for scale purposes. I will hand it to the production crew for coming up with clever ways to illustrate the heavy power armour and just how nimble Battle Brothers (Space Marines) are when they're wearing it.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-s_tztm8kaWA/TxPB-qvZeDI/AAAAAAAAAWQ/ZY6rezrsoE8/s1600/Ultramarines_3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-s_tztm8kaWA/TxPB-qvZeDI/AAAAAAAAAWQ/ZY6rezrsoE8/s320/Ultramarines_3.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Scale Fail here? Nope. That's a BIG ship, man.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Girlfriend just pointed out "And didn't they die rather easily? Like TOO easily?"<br />
<br />
The simple answer for her is: Yes.<br />
<br />
<i>Ultramarines</i> does have a very important thing going for it: It's not <i><b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Dragonlance-Dragons-Twilight-Lucy-Lawless/dp/B000Y7U996/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1326693580&sr=1-1">Dragonlance</a></b></i>.<br />
<br />
Let me explain.<br />
<br />
<i>Dragonlance</i> was one of the worst animated disasters of several lifetimes. Like <i>Ultramarines</i>, it was one of those animated features with cool celebrity voices you got excited to see. You didn't care if it looked like it was going to be a <i>G.I. JOE</i> cartoon from the 80's, by the looks of it. You don't care that Lucy Lawless and Kiefer Sutherland were probably going to semaphore it in, not really giving a shit.<br />
<br />
Well. I will say the actors actually did a good job on <i>Dragonlance</i>-- with what they had to work with.<br />
<br />
What resulted was something too horrible to ever talk about, but I'm sure I'll suck it up at some point and do a write up on <i>Dragonlance</i>, anyway. To put it as eloquently as possible: <i>Dragonlance</i> sucked so bad that a crack team of physicists were assigned to repairing the damage to our universe that it caused. In other words, it sucked and instantly became the windowless white van of animated adaptations where beloved properties are concerned.<br />
<br />
It made the <i>Dungeons & Dragons</i> movie look like <i>Children of Men</i>.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QE5EmZ-DFVU/TxPCmnH5YDI/AAAAAAAAAWY/Cj1lPMaOtg8/s1600/Bloodrayne_movie_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QE5EmZ-DFVU/TxPCmnH5YDI/AAAAAAAAAWY/Cj1lPMaOtg8/s320/Bloodrayne_movie_poster.jpg" width="247" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pictured: Better than <i>Dragonlance</i>.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Anyways, enough about that steaming pile of shit. I suppose it's my special way of saying "<i>Ultramarines</i> is pretty terribad, but it's not a steaming pile of shit, and you can watch it a second time without ever feeling the need to kill yourself or your loved ones."<br />
<br />
As a hardcore Warhammer (40k and Fantasy) fan since 1987, I have to say I was pretty disappointed. Does that mean I didn't buy it on DVD? No. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Ultramarines-Warhammer-000-Movie-DVD/dp/B005LGU7I8/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1326693822&sr=1-1">In fact, here, order it</a>. Have some fun with it. But only get it if you're okay with it being worse than any Black Library book you've ever read.<br />
<br />
I happily bought the <i>Mutant Chronicles</i> film. I may have a problem. What? WHAT? There's a 2-disc collector's edition???? <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Mutant-Chronicles-2-Disc-Collectors-Thomas/dp/B00277Q2V0/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1326693942&sr=1-1">Yes, I will buy this, no doubt</a>.<br />
<br />
Whoops! Getting really sidetracked here... So, yeah, <i>Ultramarines</i> also offers some excellent voice work all around, and includes epic-awesome talent like Terrance Stamp, John Hurt and Sean Pertwee. In a nutshell, if the animation and story had been tighter, I would have wet myself in complete satisfaction. However, when the opening cutscenes from the <i>Dawn of War</i> videogame kick your rump where action animation is concerned... well... um... yeah.<br />
<br />
But I judge harshly. I still would like to thank the cast and crew of <i>Ultramarines</i> for finally putting a Warhammer 40k feature out.<br />
<br />
I just wish I wasn't so put out by it.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lus7ajit1sw/TxPEPXPU4GI/AAAAAAAAAWg/04ErCeF5NOQ/s1600/Ultramarines_4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lus7ajit1sw/TxPEPXPU4GI/AAAAAAAAAWg/04ErCeF5NOQ/s320/Ultramarines_4.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Kneel before Severus.</b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Images pulled from the <i>Ultramarines</i> movie website*. <b><a href="http://ultramarinesthemovie.com/">Give it a visit!</a></b> Nice site.)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="text-align: center;">(*Except the </span><i style="text-align: center;">BloodRayne</i><span style="text-align: center;"> one, which is yoinked from </span><a href="http://www.wikipedia.org/" style="text-align: center;">Wikipedia</a><span style="text-align: center;">.)</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
<b>Lethality</b>: Six players showed up to play today and only one watched their Halfling acrobat die horribly. The rest of the group had some close calls, and the snooty High Elf lost an ear and part of his upper lip. All told, they still made out like drunken bandits. The DM is fuming and plotting something involving man-eating, intelligent falling rocks to unleash on the party next game session.<br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
Questions? Comments? Rotten fruit or suggestions or suggestions for rotten fruit? <a href="mailto:synabetic@gmail.com"><b>Then drop me a line and such.</b></a> Don't be shy... No, really, I'm starting to really creep my girlfriend out and she's-- <span style="font-size: x-small;">she's looking right at me, isn't she...</span> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">poop.</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-75704803067518206732012-01-15T00:00:00.000-08:002012-01-15T22:50:00.368-08:00Midnight Mini pr0n: Back for the Space S****n Attack!<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AGWGFS5RzjM/TxIqbX7HZkI/AAAAAAAAAVo/8FTO7ySZegk/s1600/megaminis_skeletons.jpg"></a>It's good to be back. And Happy Midnight, everyone in the Pacific Standard Time Zone! Chances are, though, that you're reading this the next morning because you don't live in the same time zone as me and other Awesome People. Chances are that I'm writing this much earlier, updating it piece by piece as I work on other stuff (like your mom--<i>BAM</i>) and then having the damned thing post at Midnight.<br />
<br />
Really, it doesn't matter. I like using the name "<b>Midnight Mini pr0n</b>" and you will like it, too, like it or not.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Tonight I would like to geek out over discovering <b><a href="http://www.megaminis.com/">Mega Miniatures</a></b>. Now, I may have discovered them before, but it's been a while, so give me a break, okay? Let's get to it!<br />
<br />
<i><b>Note</b>: All pictures are pulled from the Mega Miniatures site and eBay store. If anyone over at Mega Miniatures has a problem with this, please contact me: synabetic (at) gmail (dot) com.</i><br />
Part of me dreads saying this, but I hope this company doesn't get nailed by You-Know-Who... I mean-- dare I say it?-- they have Space Skaven-esque figures and Sci-Fi Beastmen available! I guess it should be stated right freaking now that this is my opinion and my opinion only. Period. I am certain Mega Miniatures had no intention of their miniatures looking like or reminding anyone of a particular miniatures line. Got that? Good.<br />
<br />
First, I encourage every goddamned nerd reading this to look through their eBay store and PDF catalogs. There is some <i>epic</i> stuff to be had! I am going to document my wish list. Deep breath. Prepare the sacrificial altar with the requisite baby hearts. I'm gonna freak right the heck out.<br />
<br />
<br />
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697648284042414274" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-x7Mgtwk1Yqk/TxIc7Ul2SMI/AAAAAAAAAT8/ORttbGrggK0/s400/megaminis_space_ratmen_1.jpg" style="color: #0000ee; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 213px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; width: 400px;" /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<u><br /></u></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<u><br /></u></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>(item <a href="http://www.ebay.com/itm/MEM-50002-Goth-Rat-Hordes-x-9-miniatures-25mm-/140460649566?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item20b41b6c5e#ht_500wt_1180">listing can be found here</a>)</b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Looksss, man-thing things! Space Skav-- er Ratmen! I've been kitbashing rodent-doods like this for years, but I was excessively pleased to see this selection. My Rogue Trader RPG players, on the other paw, will most probably be displeased. The sculpts appear decent and I was reading that these are tin minis, and while I used to be pretty resistant to the "tin movement", I'm sure these will be just fine. Oh, and the price. A great price, and they also offer affordable shipping rates. But wait-- there's more!</div>
<div>
<br />
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697649904297077970" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ia6F4an1fJw/TxIeZogqbNI/AAAAAAAAAUI/2NrR9bSCnE4/s400/megaminis_space_ratmen_2.jpg" style="color: #0000ee; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 115px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; width: 400px;" /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>(item <a href="http://www.ebay.com/itm/MEM-50001-Goth-Rat-Heroes-x-4-miniatures-40mm-/360306075961?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item53e3ea6939#ht_500wt_1180">listing can be found here</a>)</b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Man, those rat-dudes look badass! I foresee spending in my future... I'll report on what they're like in person when I finally get around to feeding my habit.<br />
<br />
While you're here, reading, do know that individually these Space Ratmen are running $2.50 a piece for the average sized ones, $4.99 for the large ones and $1.50 for the smaller ones. To save space and time, I have not included the 15mm Ratguys, but you should totally check them out, yo.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Moving on...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
This has to be shown Big Picture style.<br />
<br />
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697652725964358498" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_S6qfjHG_Xw/TxIg94CkQ2I/AAAAAAAAAUU/s1LZPS-h2pw/s400/Megaminis_Deadtech_1.jpg" style="color: #0000ee; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 400px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; width: 379px;" /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>(item <a href="http://www.ebay.com/itm/MEM-50004-DeadTech-set-20-miniatures-32mm-scale-/140473910897?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item20b4e5c671#ht_500wt_1180">listing can be found here</a>)</b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Feast on the Motherfething Awesomeness. What I see here is a miniatures line that will appeal to fans of Undead, <i>The Terminator</i>, Necrons and <i>Westworld</i>. You could even do Galaxy Rangers meets Deadlands in Spaaaace, pardner.<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
In other words: I love them.<br />
<br />
Yeah, sure, some of the sculpts look a little goofy, but overall they're magnificent and give me all kinds of gaming ideas. They also give me ideas on top of already formed Evil Ideas I have for my Rogue Trader RPG group (perhaps you're getting the impression that said group is going to hate-love me-- <i>good</i>).</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
There are many, many more minis to be had by the fine folks over at Mega Miniatures, including classic Grenadier models from Ye Olden Days of Yore. Yeah, a buddy and I nerded it up over them on Facebook last night.<br />
<br />
My girlfriend probably thinks I'm pathetically weird.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I will show you some more things of beauty. Truth be told, I am a man who appreciates devices of execution. Don't judge my violent solutions to society's problems, you bigots. I'm perfectly normal having wanted gallows and headsman playsets since I was seven.<br />
<br />
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697656435317666354" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HHcvwlfDjYs/TxIkVydT8jI/AAAAAAAAAUg/My0Di80-NMo/s400/megaminis_gallows.jpg" style="color: #0000ee; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 354px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; width: 386px;" /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><a href="http://www.ebay.com/itm/MEM-20001-Hangman-Gallows-miniatures-25mm-scenery-/110361967415?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item19b215fb37#ht_500wt_1180">(item listing can be found here)</a></b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Nice. For those of you who don't have the same kind of gallows humour I do: Sorry.</div>
<div>
The dropped shoe is a very, very neat touch, by the way.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697657252530886018" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-txh96VnLMBc/TxIlFW0IFYI/AAAAAAAAAUs/8cYbLYP8Uxc/s400/megaminis_guilllotine.jpg" style="color: #0000ee; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 378px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; width: 301px;" /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><a href="http://www.ebay.com/itm/MEM-20002-Guillotine-headless-corpse-25mm-miniature-/110361968006?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item19b215fd86#ht_500wt_1180">(item listing can be found here)</a></b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I wouldn't recommend this as a way to get a head in life. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Speaking of heads, I think they have mounted ones available through their catalog. Really, this is one of the first places to-- <i>wait for it</i>-- head to when you want something other than paper scenery. By the way, <b><a href="http://www.worldworksgames.com/store/">WorldWorks</a></b> produces some of the best paper terrain stuff on the market, as does <b><a href="http://www.fatdragongames.com/fdgfiles/">Fat Dragon Games</a></b>.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Anyone looking for good tips on some stocks?<br />
<br />
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697659935279613618" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RMnZrweENmU/TxInhg1RBrI/AAAAAAAAAU4/tsBI-q98S2A/s400/megaminis_stocks.jpg" style="color: #0000ee; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 341px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; width: 278px;" /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><a href="http://www.ebay.com/itm/MEM-20003-Woman-Stocks-25mm-miniature-D-D-RPG-/8729100790?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2084b81f6#ht_500wt_1081">(item listing can be found here)</a></b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Oh, I kill me. What's that? You want to do <i>this</i> to me, don't you:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697660292140997010" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tUKxdiSGnIY/TxIn2SPpmZI/AAAAAAAAAVE/3eF0vFX2vf0/s400/megaminis_torture_rack.jpg" style="color: #0000ee; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 400px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; width: 390px;" /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><a href="http://www.ebay.com/itm/MEM-20030-RACK-torture-Set-25mm-miniature-Dungeon-Decor-/140019454725?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2099cf5305#ht_500wt_1081">(item listing can be found here)</a></b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Tempting to make a rack joke about the lady in the stocks, too...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Right, I understand. But when you're all done doing what you do, make sure you get the proper equipment to clean it up:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697660695128187266" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sVwyFgtnzw8/TxIoNvfSIYI/AAAAAAAAAVQ/sK0VdrRqPIA/s400/megaminis_corpse_cart.jpg" style="color: #0000ee; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 274px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; width: 395px;" /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><a href="http://www.ebay.com/itm/MEM-20011-Corpse-Cart-25mm-miniature-D-D-RPG-/8729110185?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2084ba6a9#ht_500wt_1081">(item listing can be found here)</a></b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Hee hee hee...<br />
<br />
I really need to get me these things. Be sure to check out <b><a href="http://stores.ebay.com/MegaMiniatures/FANTASY-Scenery-/_i.html?rt=nc&_fsub=262889011&_sid=2577791&_trksid=p4634.c0.m14.l1513&_pgn=1">the rest of Mega Miniature's scenery</a></b>.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Oh! And for you child haters out there...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697662071382128098" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-epkCyUQ25HA/TxIpd2byteI/AAAAAAAAAVc/N9LruX1Op9M/s400/megaminis_boy_in_legstocks.jpg" style="color: #0000ee; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 321px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; width: 317px;" /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><a href="http://www.ebay.com/itm/DEAL-20003b-Boy-Leg-Stocks-miniatures-25mm-torture-/140374080269?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item20aef27b0d#ht_500wt_1180">(item listing can be found here)</a></b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Yeah, yeah, cry me a river kid. That'll teach you to never steal another man's Veritech fighter again.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
That's all for now, folks, I hope you dug this one. It's a bit long in the exacto-bladed tooth, but I figured I'd throw in a bunch of images. As for an image to leave you on, here's some Skeletons.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Everyone loves Skeletons.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697663128343897666" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AGWGFS5RzjM/TxIqbX7HZkI/AAAAAAAAAVo/8FTO7ySZegk/s400/megaminis_skeletons.jpg" style="color: #0000ee; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 331px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; width: 303px;" /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><a href="http://www.ebay.com/itm/MEM-90002-Skeletons-25mm-miniature-LOT-24-Undead-/8729129675?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2084bf2cb#ht_500wt_1081">(and, of course, item listing can be found here)</a></b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Thanks, <b><a href="http://www.megaminis.com/">Mega Miniatures</a>, </b>for producing some excellent things to choose from! I'll totally blame you when my girlfriend complains I haven't bought her flowers lately or haven't taken her out to the tapas bar in a long, long while.<br />
<br />
Questions? Suggestions? Comments? Leave a comment damn it. Or if you're Intardnets shy, shoot me an email:<b> synabetic(at)gmail(dot)com</b></div>Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-29549343907098676992012-01-14T15:35:00.001-08:002012-01-14T15:42:21.716-08:00And We're Back. Sort of.So, there I was taking a break from reading this wonderful book I'm editing and I was thinking "I really should update my <a href="depressalin.wordpress.com"><b>Depressalin</b></a> blog". Yeah, that's a link. Go and check it out-- not for the faint of heart.<br /><br />Anyways, lately I've been thinking about miniatures a lot. I also linked to this blog recently when talking to someone. And then, when I was thinking about that other, more personal blog I do, I thought about this one. It's been a long time since I updated it... But I should. I mean, where else would I freak out about miniatures and gaming? I could do it over at <b>Depressalin</b>, but then it becomes unfocused nonsense. And there's enough of that.<br /><br />I also think I become more productive when I'm not smoking.<div><br /></div><div>Anyways, again, I think I'll bring this blogthing back, if only for doing <b>Midnight Mini Pr0n</b> again. I really enjoyed wigging out about miniatures and such. I might even do <b>Total Party Kill</b> again... and you probably don't know what that is. I know what it is. I know.<br /><br />I'll see about doing a miniatures post at midnight. Then again, I may forget. Anyways, again again, I hope to entertain at least two or three nerds out there.<br /><br />Maybe four. Dream big, kids... dream big!</div>Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-74852096831648468432010-06-22T14:46:00.000-07:002010-06-22T19:13:30.607-07:00Steve's Geek Primer #1: Star Wars (Original Trilogy)<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-style: italic;">A quick note: I decided to do some Geek Primers after talking to a buddy of mine in one of my game groups who really has little-to-no grasp on geek culture, terms, references and in-jokes. So, this is for you, Ryan! Oh, and anyone else it can help. Please keep in mind that these entries are by no means exhaustive; and if you need more information, please look up stuff in the </span><a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://www.wikipedia.com/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wikipedia</span></a><span style="font-style: italic;"> and the <a href="http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wookieepedia</span></a>, where you will find a mind-boggling array of data regarding these things. Enjoy!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6c/Star_Wars_Logo.svg"><img style="width: 317px; height: 193px;" alt="File:Star Wars Logo.svg" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/6c/Star_Wars_Logo.svg/694px-Star_Wars_Logo.svg.png" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">What You Need To Know... </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_wars"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Star Wars</span></a> is one of the biggest, if not THE biggest, Fantasy / Science Fiction franchises ever to exist. In fact, one could argue that after Star Wars showed up in theaters in 1977, the kids brought up around those times were the first generation to be exposed to massive cross-marketing involving toys, books, comic books, bed-sheets, knick-knacks and a wild assortment of other things. Basically not much tops Star Wars with most geeks. Unless it’s Star Trek, but that’s another story.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">There are six films, three of which were released between 1977 and 1983. Those three, in order, are <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars_Episode_IV:_A_New_Hope"><i style="font-weight: bold;">Star Wars</i></a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empire_Strikes_Back"><i style="font-weight: bold;">The Empire Strikes Back</i></a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Return_of_the_Jedi"><i style="font-weight: bold;">Return of the Jedi</i></a>. Later, much later, three prequels were made… but we don’t really need to get into all that.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/62/LukeSkywalkerROTJV2Wallpaper.jpg"><img style="width: 348px; height: 262px;" alt="File:LukeSkywalkerROTJV2Wallpaper.jpg" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/62/LukeSkywalkerROTJV2Wallpaper.jpg" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The gist of Star Wars is simple: Farm Boy Luke Skywalker discovers he has a destiny and does good by changing the Galaxy, making lots of awesome friends and becoming a bad-ass Jedi Knight along the way. Keep in mind that this all takes place long ago in a far, faraway place, so it’s not <i style="">exactly</i> futuristic or whatever. But if it helps, you can think of it as futuristic since there’re space ships, faster-than-light travel, laser guns, jet-packs, aliens and all sorts of other cool stuff. It’s also very pulpy—if you know what “<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pulp_magazine">pulp</a>” is.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0b/Ben_Kenobi.jpg"><img style="width: 138px; height: 202px;" alt="File:Ben Kenobi.jpg" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0b/Ben_Kenobi.jpg" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Anyways, Luke teams up with two robots (called droids) named C-3PO and R2-D2 on a quest to save Princess Leia, along with an old mentor dude named Obiwan Kenobi. This old dude is a Jedi, a near-extinct form of mystical space knight who fight with these laser swords called “lightsabers”. Before they jet off to the cosmos they are joined by a shifty-but-likable smuggler, Han Solo, and Han’s large, furry pal and co-pilot, Chewbacca. Eventually they find Princess Leia on a large planet-like space station called the Death Star, save her, leave, come back with the Rebel Alliance (who are fighting the evil Empire) and destroy said Death Star. Kenobi is killed at some point and his spirit remains to guide Luke through the young man’s trials and travails. All of this leads to the two other films in the Original Trilogy which leads to all kinds of adventure, Luke becoming a Jedi, and shocking Skywalker family revelations.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">While nearly all Star Wars fans will think the above is quite a crappy summation, people who have never seen Star Wars before and know nothing about it should get a good idea of what’s going on. I won't even go into the Expanded Universe, either. It'll get terribly confusing if I even mention the Star Wars comics...<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Here are some bullet points ( which look like dashes and are in no particular order) to help the non-Fan get on with Fans, should they hear some Star Wars lingo and references dropped.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">“That’s no moon.”</span> This is what Obiwan Kenobi says when they are first made aware of the Death Star. Star Wars fans like to say this when something is revealed to be not what it seems.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Death_star1.png" class="image"><img alt="" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/f/f9/Death_star1.png/200px-Death_star1.png" class="thumbimage" width="200" height="200" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">“It’s a trap!”</span> What fish-guy lookin’ Admiral Ackbar exclaims in the third film, <i style="">Return of the Jedi</i>, when the Rebel Alliance attacks the Second Death Star. This quote is used often, and can even be seen on t-shirts, as well as all over the Internet.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:AckbarStanding.jpg" class="image"><img alt="AckbarStanding.jpg" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/6/6e/AckbarStanding.jpg/250px-AckbarStanding.jpg" width="250" height="205" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">“I love you.” “I know.”</span> What Leia and Han say to each other (respectively) before Han Solo is frozen is a substance known as “carbonite” in the second film, <span style="font-style: italic;">Empire Strikes Back</span>. Star Wars fans consider this the height of romance and a neat fact is that Harrison Ford (who plays Solo) ad-libbed the line… at least as far I know.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hyperspace</span>: What happens when spaceships in Star Wars travel at faster-than-light speeds. The famous effect seen resulting from hyperspace travel is the stars streaking, making everything look very, very fast.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”</span> A line said throughout all six films. It’s like “I’ll be back” with the Terminator movies. Fans love it.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">Jabba the Hutt</span>: A disgustingly large slug-like alien who’s an interstellar (read: across large tracts of the galaxy/space) crime lord. Nowadays many use it as a derogatory way to describe obese persons.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:JabbatheHuttROTJ.jpg" class="image"><img alt="JabbatheHuttROTJ.jpg" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/6/66/JabbatheHuttROTJ.jpg/250px-JabbatheHuttROTJ.jpg" width="250" height="190" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">Slave Leia</span>: When Princess Leia is held captive by Jabba the Hutt, she is forced to dress in a skimpy outfit. Ever since, many lovely young ladies dress as “Slave Leia” at conventions (read: large geek gatherings celebrating games, comics, movies, etc). </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">“Use the Force.” “May the Force be with you.”</span> Common lines throughout the Star Wars movie series. The Jedi knights use a mystical life-energy called The Force. Fans love it, naturally.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stormtroopers</span>: The white-armoured, freaky looking shock troopers of the evil Empire. They hark back to Nazi Stormtroopers in a way, but are more like space goons who can’t shoot straight. Because of Star Wars, when people say “stormtrooper” they usually mean Imperial Stormtroopers from Star Wars—not their various historical counterparts. Stormtroopers are a crowd pleaser at many a convention. Put simply, Fans love to dress up as these guys.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Imperial_Stormtrooper_01.jpg" class="image"><img alt="Imperial Stormtrooper 01.jpg" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/28/Imperial_Stormtrooper_01.jpg/120px-Imperial_Stormtrooper_01.jpg" width="120" height="219" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">AT-AT</span>: Probably pronounced as it looks (“at-at”), though some people say “A-T-A-T”. These are the four-legged Imperial Walkers that assault the ice planet Hoth in <i style="">Empire Strikes Back</i>. Fans love to use them as examples for things.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Battlehothesb.JPG" class="image"><img alt="" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/d7/Battlehothesb.JPG/350px-Battlehothesb.JPG" class="thumbimage" width="350" height="150" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wookiee</span>: The alien race Chewbacca belongs to. They are very tall, largely built and covered in fur. Fans will refer to very hairy people as “wookiees” or “as hairy as a wookiee” and so on.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ewok</span>: Short, furry humanoids from the forest moon of Endor, who appear in <i style="">Return of the Jedi</i>. Many, more cynical fans feel they ruined the Star Wars franchise, but that’s neither here nor there for the purposes of this bit. The primitive Ewoks serve as an example of tenacity over technology when they help defeat the Empire at the <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Battle</st1:place></st1:city> for Endor. Oh, sorry, mild spoiler. Well, the good guys win… not really a surprise, I suppose.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">Darth Vader</span>: The Big Bad Guy of the Original Trilogy. He’s tall, imposing, has black armour and wears a cool cape. He’s as evil-looking as evil looking bad guys get in the Space Fantasy genre. He known for his deep, scary voice (thanks, James Earl Jones) and the breathing noises his cyborg <span style=""> </span>(man + machine) respiratory system makes.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5c/DVader.jpeg"><img style="width: 189px; height: 200px;" alt="File:DVader.jpeg" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5c/DVader.jpeg" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">“No!! That’s impossible!!”</span> [Major Spoiler here, just so you know.] This is the line Luke belts out when he discovers Darth Vader is his father in <i style="">Empire Strikes Back</i>. Fans enjoy saying this when stuff happens, both good and bad.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">Boba Fett</span>: The Manadlorian (not really alien; just a different kind of human person) bounty hunter who is sent after Han Solo. While he was barely in the movies, he is easily the favourite character of a large percentage of Fans—myself included. He has wrist rockets and a f-ing cool jetpack.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:FettbobaJB.png" class="image"><img alt="FettbobaJB.png" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/3/3e/FettbobaJB.png/120px-FettbobaJB.png" width="120" height="151" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">“No disintegrations!”</span> What Darth Vader says to Boba Fett (and some other bounty hunters) in <i style="">Empire Strikes Back</i>. A popular quote.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lando Calrissian</span>: One of the only non-white human characters in the Original Trilogy, Lando is an old smuggler buddy of Han Solo’s who has this place called <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Cloud</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">City</st1:placetype></st1:place>. Lando betrays Han to Darth Vader in <i style="">Empire Strike Back</i> to save his people, and even though it was the right thing to do, being called a “Lando” is still one of the worst insults one can level at someone. You may be pleased to know that Lando then spends the rest of the Trilogy trying to save Han and the Rebel Alliance.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Lando6-2.jpg" class="image"><img alt="Lando6-2.jpg" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/cb/Lando6-2.jpg/250px-Lando6-2.jpg" width="250" height="149" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">“Never tell me the odds.”</span> Han says this to C-3PO before going into a dense asteroid field (read: a lot of large rocks clustered together in space). <span style=""> </span>Also a terrifically popular Fans quote.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">-<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-weight: bold;">Millennium Falcon</span>: The way, way cool near-circular spaceship Han and Chewie (Chewbacca’s nickname) zip around space in. It’s one of the most recognizable items from Star Wars overall, and everyone who loved Star Wars as a kid wanted the toy. “I covet that almost as much as I do my Millennium Falcon” is something I’ve said before. In my 30s.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/27/Millennium_Falcon.jpg"><img alt="File:Millennium Falcon.jpg" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/27/Millennium_Falcon.jpg" width="174" height="108" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;">- <span style="font-weight: bold;">John Williams</span>: The guy who composed the Star Wars soundtrack, which even a lotta Non-Fans will recognise when they hear it.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;">- <span style="font-weight: bold;">George Lucas</span>: The man who made it all happen. Star Wars is his big, big baby. Fans both love and hate him.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;">- <span style="font-weight: bold;">"Han shot first."</span> This is not a line from the movies, but rather something fans say so often that it has appeared on t-shirts, mugs and all sorts of other sundries. You see, in <span style="font-style: italic;">Star Wars</span>, Han Solo is confronted by bounty hunter Greedo (looking to turn his sorry hide in to Jabba the Hutt) and before Greedo can shoot Han, Hano Solo blasts the poor, nasty green alien into an early grave. Later, George Lucas re-released the films and added a bunch of stuff, including Greedo shooting first-- ostensibly to make Han look more like a hero than an anti-hero. Thus, "Han shot first". It should go without saying this is one of the big reasons why many a Fan dislikes Lucas nowadays.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;">There really is an enormous amount of things I could bullet point, talk about, or do interpretive dance about concerning Star Wars. However, I think this entry is daunting enough as it is for a Non-Fan… right? If you want to add more, be my guest and fire away in the comments.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><br /></p><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Images pulled from Wikipedia</span></span>Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861845573519264992.post-30386864964901355012010-06-22T09:40:00.000-07:002010-06-22T09:55:11.075-07:00News: CHIMAERA HERO BATTLES GAME STORMS FACEBOOK<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_GsGgf445Kto/TCDqqpnMIUI/AAAAAAAAASY/pSNABvGj4Po/s1600/ChimaeraHeroBattlesFBImage.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 190px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_GsGgf445Kto/TCDqqpnMIUI/AAAAAAAAASY/pSNABvGj4Po/s400/ChimaeraHeroBattlesFBImage.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5485642364582895938" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family: arial;font-size:100%;" ><a href="http://www.chimaerastudios.com/"><b>Chimaera Studios</b></a> is proud to announce the <a href="http://apps.facebook.com/chimaerabattles"><b>CHIMAERA HERO BATTLES</b></a><span> game for </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com"><b>Facebook</b></a>! For over a decade Chimaera Studios has brought you their own comics filled with all kinds of Chimaera Heroes and Villains… and now you too can be a part of the action through the convenience of <b>Facebook </b>and the services of <a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.signitysolutions.com"><b><span>Signity Solutions</span></b></a> as it's partner in development of the game. Create a Hero or Villain, participate in over 1000 Player Level Missions (with 3000 more in production!), check out more than 100 Special Missions containing dozens of levels worth of missions specific to a Chimaera comic title—with bonus awards, and go toe to toe with Chimaera characters like <b>Silent Ghost</b>, <b>Lonebow</b>, <b>Wargod</b>, <b>Otherman</b>, <b>The American</b>, <b>Samurai Zombie, and many more</b> played by actual <b>Chimaera Comics</b> creators!! That’s right: You can match power and wits with our writers, artists and game designers… Battle them at your own risk, boys and girls!</span> <p style="margin: 0px; font-family: Times New Roman; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></p> <p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 36px; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><b>George T. Singley</b>, the Owner and President of <b>Chimaera Studios</b>, has this to say: “Never before has anyone tried something <b>THIS</b> epic. This is the first true fully functional comic book ultra-experience all in one app! The <b>unique combat system </b>gives <b>quick but immersive battle strategies</b> that become endless— but it’s <b>great for beginner online gamers</b> and <b>fantastic for seasoned online RPG and PVP battle gamers</b>! The full range of playability and quick turn around in game of certain features gives an <b>immersive player experience</b> for a long, long time.” </span></p> <p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 36px; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></p> <p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 36px; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><b>CHIMAERA HERO BATTLES</b> has a lot to offer gamers of all kinds, including engaging battles, a fantastic range of skills, lots of cool enhancements, and an enriched character upgrade system; plus you get near infinite player and income levelling. Casual and hardcore players alike will also be pleased to hear that <b>CHIMAREA HERO BATTLES</b> will constantly be adding new missions, upgrades, enhancements, special items and other features to the game! Not only that, but you can read <b>Chimaera Comics</b> IN GAME—while you PLAY!!</span></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></p> <p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 36px; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Singley adds: “<i>So, let’s say you’re playing me, you can also be reading the comics </i><b><i>Consortium of Justice</i></b><i>, </i><b><i>Hellhounds, Wargod, Titus</i></b><i>, </i><b><i>Blaze Anderson: Cosmonaut!</i></b><i>, </i><b><i>The Kraken</i></b><i>, </i><b><i>Jesus Hates Zombies</i></b><i>, </i><b><i>Her Majesty's Bulldog Brigade</i></b><i>, </i><b><i>Magus The Illusionist</i></b><i>, </i><b><i>Deadmen 6</i></b><i>, </i><b><i>The Secret Cross</i></b><i>, </i><b><i>Robo Death</i></b><i> and much, much more. How awesome is that? Gang, I’m stoked. I could be playing instead of being quoted for this press release… Heck with it, I’m goin’ back to the game...see you there guys and gals!”</i></span></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></p> <p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 36px; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"><span style="font-size:100%;">In his haste to get back to playing, George neglected to mention that there will also be an upcoming <b>Nightmaera Horror Comics </b><b>CHIMAERA HERO BATTLES Action Figures</b> available for pre order (available in 8" and 5") among other things.</span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></p> <p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 36px; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"><span style="font-size:100%;">And what’s a launch without specials or promotions? The first 50,000 users to join <b>CHIMAERA HERO BATTLES</b> get <b>30 Consortium of Justice points </b>if they nobly choose the Hero faction or <b>30 Syndicate of Sorrow points</b> if they decide to play a nefarious Villain! 50,001 to 150,000 of the initial game player sign-ups will receive <b>20 In-Game Points</b> to use for special upgrades and skill boosters! The last (but certainly not least!) group to benefit from initial beta launch sign-up and game play will be users 150,001 to 200,000, and they’ll earn <b>10 Bonus COJ or SOS In-Game Points</b><span> straight out of the gate!!! And don’t worry; there’ll be specific Holiday specials and oh-so-much more to come, guys and gals!!! Hurry up and join the game free now to get your possible bonus COJ/SOS points. <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://apps.facebook.com/chimaerabattles">GO HERE to jump into the action</a>!<a href="http://apps.facebook.com/chimaerabattles" target="_blank"></a></span></span></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"><span style="font-size:100%;">At <b>Chimaera Studios and Chimaera Comics</b>, we endeavour to bring you only the best in entertainment across industry genres. Whether you are a dedicated geek or just passing through for a good time, we’re there for you! We are positive that if you’re looking for a killer <b>Facebook</b> game app to grab your attention, then <a href="http://apps.facebook.com/chimaerabattles"><b>CHIMAERA HERO BATTLES</b></a><span></span> is just the ticket to ride you need.</span></p> <div><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman', helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:12;"><br /></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Steve Saundershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08549563723109424321noreply@blogger.com0