Dice, Minis, Paizo... and Madness?

Howdy, folks... or those few of you who take the time to stop by... I thought I would take some time myself today to link to a few things that I found of interest.

First off, take a look to the left there. See those? Call of Cthulhu dice! How neat is that? "Very neat, Steve" you'd better say. Chaosium is bringing the Halloween season with some cool stuff, but what mainly stole my immortal soul were these babies. And only $18 (US) plus shipping. Not bad when you think about it. Click on that purty picture for a direct link to some more information on this awesome aberration of an unspeakable thing.

Another thing I saw in my travels through the mess that is the World Wide Web was Erik Mona of Paizo talking about the possibility of Paizo not jumping on the D&D 4th edition bandwagon, or at least not right away. He talks some good points concerning his company and WotC / Hasbro. Then, being the good sport he is, asks people to chime in. Read it in all of it's glory here. Personally, I'm hoping Paizo continues to become an independent gaming power. I'd love to see them do some more 3.5 stuff and also join ranks with the Castles & Crusades crew. We'll see what happens.

Hirst Arts creates molds for you to make blocks in order to build neat minis terrain. Sure, it's some work, but I've found stuff like this to be very rewarding. Anyways, they have a gallery that shows off what some people have done. It all caught my eye nicely, but what REALLY caught my eye was this bridge scene. Wow, I say. Wow.

Alrighty, that's all the time I have right now to do an update. As usual, here is me saying that I'll try to do more in less time. Always a hollow promise, I know.

Mappy Warhammery Goodness

I've been meaning to post this for awhile. In fact, I've had it noted on my desktop for quite some time. This is a map of Praag from the upcoming Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay Kislev supplement, Realm of the Ice Queen. I came across it by way of Steve Darlington's Livejournal. Click on the image for it's full and glorious size.


Yummy.

And while poking around the Black Industries site, I came across the map for Erengrad, too!


I love maps. I love Warhammer. This is kinda like pr0n to me, truth be told. More maps can be found here.

I'll be picking this supplement up. I've been waiting for a WFRP Kislev book that's awesome for quite some time. At least I know it will LOOK great. Let's hope there's more to it than just pretty dressing (I'm very hopeful it is; I'm willing to bet it is). Even if I don't play WFRP for a long while, I'll still be getting my grubby mitts on this bit of tasty warpstone. It seems that the end of October isn't just Hellgate: London time (which comes out the 31st, whereas the Kislev book emerges the 30th).

TV Time with Steve

I don't get to watch television often, and when I do it's normally on DVD, or through iTunes or something like that. There's always more nefarious means of watching TV programs that I missed when they aired, but I would never be a party to that. Oh, never ever.

Anyway, I'd like to take a moment to talk about my latest TV watching habits, especially the shows that pertain to Geekdom. Fortunately (and probably sadly to many), almost all of the boob tubage I enjoy is of the "Class A Dork" variety. So, without further pre-ramble, here are my thoughts on what I've been watching...

Note: Follow the links if you need an explanation of the program mentioned. Saves me a lot of typing, thanks.

Update Note on the, erm, Update Notes: I started writing this and then got sidetracked. Now we're onto further eps with some of the new series and seasons I yammer about. I'll be sure to note the updates... Not that it matters to you, as this is the first time anyone other than me is reading this entry. I'm just to damned lazy to re-write the whole thing. So there.

Heroes: Yeah, Heroes is everyone's favourite show it would seem. Some folks watch it and say "I don't get it" or that "it's stupid". It's my XP that these folks just say that because they don't want to be a part of the herd. Use your imagination to place more snarky comments here. Fun. huh? Look, Heroes is a good show. But it isn't perfect, as the Season 2 opener demonstrates. To me it felt like something airing mid-season. Maybe that was the intention? Aside from some stunning revelations (which is the usual fare), this ep felt a bit... boring? Can I use that word? It wasn't bad, not by any stretch. And I'm sure that by the time the Season 2 DVDs come out, it will play out much better. Kinda like a trade-paperback these days and how single issues are geared toward that. *sigh* Figures. 7.5/10

Second Ep Update: Looks like Heroes is back to kicking ass, taking names, then setting them on fire. I wonder if Kensei turns out to be the big bad guy OR turns out to be the guy who organised the "older" heroes. Maybe both? What? What spoilers. Shut up, you. 9/10

Bionic Woman: Talk about overhyped. Am I the only person who thinks this show is dead average? At least as far as the pilot goes, I mean. Katee Sackhoff is kinda good, as are all the other BSG cast people who pop up so that BSG fans watch. Or something. But sadly, our fave female Starbuck fatale can't save the show from the sub-par writing and dialogue. Not only that, but the main character is pretty forgettable. What's her name? I can't remember. Not the actresses' fault, mind. This falls on the producers and writers. Really, this show is no better than Painkiller Jane in my eyes. So far, anyways. Not a bad pilot, but it could have been much better, like in a way that I could recall more that 10% of it. And I have a good memory. Here's to hoping it will improve... but I doubt it. Still, I'd love to be wrong. And before I forget, I'd like for these guys to stop fucking with this show and get back to Battlestar Galactica, which has been fucked with so much that 7 children around the world just cried. 5/10

Flash Gordon: This is the worst show in the history of television. I'm sure you've read all those bad reviews, right? Well, they fucking LIE. This show is WORSE. It could be handed to Uwe Boll on a meth binge with a case of Coors under his belt and it would end up 314983526486324739 times better. This show fucking sucks. If I had a time machine, I would go back to SDCC and punch that dude out who is/was with this show and said it would rock. FUCK YOU, DUDE. I HATE YOU. This is one of the rare instances where I would actually lose respect for someone for even remotely liking this show. Painkiller Jane and Dresden Files were canceled for THIS? Seriously? There are no redeeming qualities to this show and all the negative things could fill a blog for 677 years straight with entries posted every hour. To the cast, crew, and writers of this show: die in a fire. Okay, I take that back-- it's not the actors' fault for sucking. Nor is it the technical crew's fault. But you producers, writers and the like? Fuck yerselves. I'm embarrassed I watched the first few episodes of this fucking travesty. Flash Gordon doesn't even try. It's just a lazy, terrible 3rd season of Sliders rip-off. I've seen better Junior High School plays, which had a higher budget and superior direction. They'd be better off if they just hired some monkeys, mentally handicapped people, some insane homeless people and they would have a better show. Wait, wait-- Sorry. I just totally insulted the mentally challenged, monkeys, and crazy bums. Big time apologies to them even joking that they should be with this show. Same goes for Uwe Boll. Sorry about that, man. But please note that Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne are Oscar winning material compared to Flash Gordon. Avoid this TV show at all costs, or you WILL fail your SAN check. Badly. -4657/10 (Worst Show Ever Award! Way to go, douchebags.)

Update: Still not watching this piece of shit. I don't think I was serious enough before when I said I hate this show. This show would be in better standing with me if it raped my children. Yeah. It's that bad.

Journeyman: Based on the pilot for this show, it ain't half bad. Plus, it has Kevin McKidd (Rome, Trainspotting) which is ALWAYS a major plus. Sadly, I fear this show isn't as awesome as critics are saying it is. I suppose that just proves these critics don't watch much TV? That can't be. Maybe they're just drunk? Desperate? Simply not me? Who knows. Look, Journeyman is well written, has good direction, some nice dialogue, AND great acting; but all of that can't save this show from looking like a de/mal/semi-formed Quantum Leap clone to me. That's exactly what it is, so far anyway. The good thing is that the pilot was put together well enough to snag my interest and warrant further viewing from my awesome eyes. I don't expect shows to be original; in fact, I don't really want them to be. However, this show lacks a lot of that originality that made hokey but sweet shows like Quantum Leap fun and interesting. Many of those critics out there also reference Early Edition. Hey, I remember that show. I guess they do watch a lot of TV, as they probably make up 80% of the folks that watched that show (no offence to the bunch that did that show or liked it... I liked it, too). But yeah, Journeyman has even less sci-fi elements than Quantum Leap did (that is, if you count QL's Duran Duran liner notes sci-fi to be science fiction). There IS one thing that makes this show REALLY intriguing, and that's the ex-ghoulfiend (Olivia, I believe). Her story is gonna be neat, or so I hope. This show is off to a solid start, even if it's all been done before. Often. Oh, and for the love of tacos: STOP IT WITH THE SHITTY RADIO MUSIC DURING A "MOVING" SCENE. Or just in general. Jesus, it blows, and ruins part of the show for me. 7/10

Second Ep Update: This is so far proving to be a solid and entertaining show. Nothing wholly awesome, mind; but certainly enjoyable enough to warrant further viewing. As my buddy Ryan Speck says: "It's Touched By an Angel meets Quantum Leap". Except, and I'm sure he'd agree, it's not nearly as lame as Touched by an Angel. Another note: The Actress that plays Livia is named Moon Bloodgood. Dude. That's like a way neat-o and yet massively cliche D&D character name. Plus she's hawt. But not as hawt as... Well, just read the next show bit. 7.8/10

Chuck: Highly entertaining fluffy show about a "regular nerd dude" who ends up with all these government sekrits zapped into his noggin. Two agents are assigned to him. One is probably the hottest woman on TV bar none and the other is Adam Baldwin, who's hot in his own special way. But seriously, the Sarah character is played by a fucking gorgeous woman. I really hope I never have to meet her with my wife around (or my wife NOT around, if you know what I mean... hubba hubba). Oh, here she is. Dayum. Anyhow, the main character is well handled, too. If you enjoy quirky spy-comedies where dialogue is it's strongest element, you can't miss with this show. Two eps in and I'm hooked. I even looked up the Nerd Herd. You should too. 8.7/10

Reaper: Some folks are saying that this show is similar to Chuck in the way that it also has a protagonist who is a slacker/nerd type who works in a Best Buy or someplace like that except it's more like Home Depot. Reaper's main character is more of a slacker, though, and he's some poor sop who's family made a deal with the devil and now Mr. O Come All Ye Faithful has come to collect. And so Sam, the aforementioned protagonist, has to go take on baddies and suck 'em up with a Dirt Devil (for now). Honestly, even with the mighty Kevin Smith directing the pilot, I didn't have high expectations for this series. Now I'm pissed because I missed the second episode! (I'm sure I'll update this soon with my thoughts on that) Like Chuck, this is also a rather lighthearted show with even more of an emphasis on comedy. I suppose there are a lot of similarities after all, but since both show are so well written, acted, and chock full of witty banter, I don't give a crap how alike they are. Reaper FTW. 8.9/10 (extra points for having Teh Devil)

Second Ep Update: The second ep is a lot of fun... I've noticed that this show is basically Dead Like Me meets Brimstone and The Collector (which is a Canadian show-- think Brimstone meets Forever Knight). Nothing wholly original (just like Chuck, unsurprisingly), but it's still a lot of fun. The version of the pilot I watched had a different actress playing the love interest, but I have to admit that this gal from Heroes is a good choice. For one she's not a cardboard cut-out (sorry, but the last actress was rather stiff in the role). Reaper looks like it's going to be a pretty neat show. Here's to hoping it goes beyond the 1st season. Also, Sock is probably one of the best characters on TV right these days. 8.6/10

That's enough yabbling about TV for now... I suppose if I went on I would ramble about how I miss Burn Notice, that the 2006 Robin Hood BBC series kicks ass on DVD, and that Sarah Connor Chronicles is going to rawk and rawk hard (I just wish they'd stop pushing it back... air it already!). You just wait. There's also another show called Moonlight that I've heard about. I'll try to give my thoughts on it when I come across it. At some point I might rant about how BSG has turned into a partial lump of shit, and even if it hasn't it gets fucked with so much that I'm beginning to so not care.

Life has been busy for me lately, but I will try to update more often.

A quick and FATAL update...

Hey, remember that game that everyone likes to say is one of the most messed up games EVAR? Remember FATAL? Well, it seems some nice person dug up a link to it for an RPGnet thread. Huzzah! It's been so hard to find as of late.

Now you can see what all the fuss is about.
Yes! The full game! Fo' frees, even.

Be warned, it's some delightfully crude stuff. If encountering the immortal Anal Circumference table or finding out how heavily detailed rape should go down in a medieval fantasy setting bothers you, then this might not be your cup of goatse tea (goatstea?). If you are like me and howl with laughter when reading things of this nature, then by all means please give it a look. Oooo! And the spell mishaps are awesome. Pure awesome.


Of course, it would be downright criminal if I don't talk more about FATAL sometime. I know many others have... but I haven't. Should be fun.

Now that I have Synnibar and FATAL in my collection, my life is fulfilled.

My work here today is complete.

Play and Read Like a Pirate

National Talk Like a Pirate Day, huh? That's cool. Y'all have fun with that.

What you can have more fun with are the following...

First, a pirate RPG you may not have heard of. Called Poison'd, here's the bit about it from an older blog entry on the game:

"In this, the Year of Our Lord 1683, did end the bloody career of the pirate Captain Jonathan Abraham Pallor, called Brimstone Jack. He did not die on the gallows, nor by the sword, nor shot in two by cannon. He died of poison, administered to him by his cook, an assassin under the King’s orders. This is what happened next."

More info can be found here.

Then there's the huge RPGnet thread that sparked all sorts of angry and passionate responses. Read it here.

You see, the game is for adults and can be very messed up. It all depends on how far the group wants to go, and there is all sorts of opportunity for ghoulish fun. Basically, I get the impression that Poison'd is one of those RPGs that is fucked up; and if fucked up things bother you-- you should steer clear, matey.

Personally, I will give this game a shot and see if it's worth boarding. Fellow interested parties should purchase it here.

If you get it, drop me a line and give me your thoughts. If you want.


The other thing that you should be aware of is BOOM! Studio's Talk Like a Pirate Day Sale. Here's some of the copy on that:

"Is your Jolly Roger flying at half mast? Is your rudder covered in barnacles? Are your timbers in need of shivering? Well fret no more, mateys, because BOOM! has the grog you need to satisfy your piratical thirst. International Talk Like A Pirate Day has come and BOOM! is celebrating with a big sale. From now until the end of September, PIRATE TALES will be offered at BOOM!'s web store for 35% off cover price, which saves you some serious doubloons.



And because the Ninja is the natural adversary of the Pirate, NINJA TALES has also been sliced and diced to 35% off cover price. So celebrate this year's Talk Like A Pirate Day by indulging in two of BOOM!'s award winning anthologies, PIRATE TALES and NINJA TALES."

The data continues here. Looks like it lasts until the end of September. Ninja Tales isn't bad a'tall and I reviewed Pirate Tales for Silver Bullet Comic Books back in November. I gave it a 4/5. Pirate Tales quite enjoyable and I heartily recommend it.


There is a lot other other piratey goodness (and ninja goodness, I'm sure) going on out there, but here are a couple of things to walk your plank. I haven't played Poison'd yet, but from what I hear It sounds great. And you can read what I said about Pirate Tales in the review.



And if you are looking for a good pirate book, I cannot recommend the novel Fell Cargo by Dan Abnett enough! Even if you don't know or like the Warhammer Fantasy universe, you can still jump right in and enjoy this book. It's got pirates, zombies, daemons, mystery, action, a whole ship's worth of awesome. Do yourself a favour and read this book, dammit. Or suffer a curse most foul!

(Read a sample extract here, you blackhearts!)






YeeARRRRRRRRRRR!

What's new in this part of Nerdistan

Just thought I would make a quick update about a few things that I recently received. Some thoughts and first impressions... Hopefully I can follow-up in the future with something more in-depth on these products (specifically the gaming ones). But, uhm, don't hold your breath; just in case.

I should point out that these are NOT very detailed reviews and are based more on my gut reaction and personal preference than any kind of High Reviewist Fare. If you need some good reviews, I recommend heading on over to RPGnet and looking the gaming material up (C&C can be found both with "Castles & Crusades" and "Castles and Crusades"). The other stuff mentioned can always be found through your pal: Google.



Castles & Crusades Player's Handbook, and Monsters & Treasure (both 3rd Printing)

I ordered these fine books directly from the Troll Lords. First off, let me say that the service was excellent and the Trolls are very friendly, helpful, and informative. The fact that C&C has good product and fan support was one of the determining factors in my getting into C&C. It took awhile for the books to get here (thanks customs!) but I was elated when they did. My first impressions are as follows... Thin but thick. By this I mean the books are thin (128 pages each) but they are jam-packed with gaming goodness. In fact, at $20 USD each you are getting a great deal. Sure, they don't have the same kind of art standards as, say, the Warhammer and WotC books, but they make up for it in data and a decent layout (art is black & white, by the way; looks very classy). And did I mention the price? I think I did. Anyhow, yeah, the art is okay and even brilliant in some places; but it tends to be small. By that I mean there are no big pictures, really, in these books. That's okay because Troll Lord makes up for this in sheer word power. The words themselves are obviously written by someone who enjoyed working on this game and really love the whole Castles & Crusades thing. There are a few typos and some terrific run-on sentences that the more stodgy of us might turn their English-degree noses up at, but we shouldn't care what they think. this game read well, and should appeal to old school gaming grognards as well as neophyte n00bs. And what of the rules? I'm not big into dissecting the rules right away, as I'm not really a "crunch" guy. I'll leave that stuff to the math dorks and PnP faux-videogamers. Nothing wrong with that, mind, just not my deal.

Anyway, the rules will appeal to those of you who (like me) tried to take AD&D back up again after doing the big 3.x switch and went "Huh... huuuuhhhhh... I dunno". I love AD&D, make no mistake. I see nothing criminal about nostalgia. Those who do think it's criminal just want to justify disliking something. Goody for them, I say. But for those of you like me that have been looking for a good variation on AD&D that's a little less generic than the excellent OSRIC and Basic Fantasy Roleplay systems or less mind-numbingly complicated as Hackmaster, then C&C is for you. Oh, and hey, I LOVE Hackmaster. It just takes a few hours to make a character and several weeks to resolve critical hits. Speaking of Hackmaster and those other "old skool" systems, Castles and Crusades can have all the other D&D products kit-bashed into it. C&C is made for house ruling. Everything you need is in the two main books, but if you can't help but tinker and mess with stuff, you'll be pleased to find that all the other AD&D and Dungeons & Dragons rules books can be incorporated with little to no trouble.

For instance, if you love those HackMaster character creation background tables like I do, you can use them (minus the Honour factor, unless you integrate that aspect into your C&C game, too). Have a 3.5 pre-fab adventure you wanna run? Sweet. Very little converting will have to be done. I'm still not quite sure how to exactly bring over the skills and feats, but it doesn't look all that complicated. The Castle Keeper's Guide (GM's book) will be coming out around Xmas (hopefully) and that should have more rules variations and other things; details can be found at the Troll Lords site.

In short, if you are looking for a non-complicated AD&D-esque game that has great support and a terrifically friendly fan community, then you simply cannot go wrong with Castles & Cruades. my only complaint is that the SIEGE Engine is mentioned a lot on the boards and on the covers, but is hard to find referenced in the books. Also, there are no indexes; but the table of contents works alright. It's really not that big of a deal. Another teeny gripe is that I'm beginning to see the same curvy "archaic" font being used a lot and I wish the section headers were a bit bigger. These whinings are very, very minor and so far I feel my money was WELL spent and I am positive that I have acquired one of the best RPGs on the market right now.

First impression Score: 9/10



Castle Zagyg Vol. 1: Yggsburgh

This is something that will have to wait for an in-depth review in the future... If I ever get around to it. In brief I can say that after flipping through this, I get the impression that Gary Gygax's creation, the town of Yggsburgh, is incredibly detailed. There are even sections telling you how folks dress. In detail. Of course, Gygax is known for this, and that's why I love him. My penchant for lists, maps, and charts come from this man. As well as my sense of wordplay (well, EGG and UK movies and TV). Initially, I have much to be excited about!

Yggsburgh is a hefty tome and it comes with a double sided map with a layout of the town on one and East Mark (local area) on the other. It's intended to be dropped into any fantasy setting, or you can use the one that Gygax provides. Either way works. The book's design is simple and a model of efficiency... except that there is no Gord-damned index! This is something that could have really used one, too. However, don't let that detract you from picking this up. Everything is organised well, with the only thing being that font that Troll Lord likes to use popping up again and again. Hey, it's not like I hate the font or anything... I just think that if they are going to font-bomb us that they should use something less curvy maybe. This sound like I'm hating on them. Not at all. I really dig Troll Lord. But I have to complain about something... And if it's the font, then that's awesome. The pages aren't glossy like the C&C core books, but I kinda like the "matte" approach much better anyway. I can make notes with my pencil and light doesn't reflect off of the pages (which makes books a bitch to read outside or under a lamp like the one above me right now). Some might complain about how simple everything is in Yggsburgh. It's definitely not mind-blowing in visual style. I do have to point out that this doesn't mean the art sucks. Far from it! The B&W art pieces inside are excellent (albeit sparse). Not only that, but the map, though also non-complicated, is quite serviceable and nicely done. Of course, you have to dig hexes. I have my pro and anti-hex days, myself. at the time of this writing I am pro-hex.

I can't wait to go through this and read it cover to cover. I'm eager to know what thing Mr. Gygax has in store for greedy little gamer-nerds everywhere. from what I've seen so far, this is worth every penny.

First Impression Score: 8.4/10


Bard's Gate

I love getting books on cities and areas; as you may guess, considering I preceded this bit with Yggsburgh. I usually mutate them into my own thing; or I might just read these tomes and never use them, mainly mining them for ideas. Bard's Gate is no exception, and for this I am glad. Yet another great product from Necromancer Games, Bard's Gate is a fully fleshed out fantasy city that is a "bastion of art". The interior is black and white and very, very expertly laid out. The rules involved are 3.5 d20, but really this city can be worked into any system, especially Castles & Crusades or any other variation of D&D. The art isn't all that bad, either. I wish the fold-out map was in colour, though. It's nice enough, it being a rather simple city map that looks like it was designed in Campaign Cartographer with City Designer. Not a bad thing, if you ask me. Still, the map isn't anything TOO special. I guess I got spoiled on all of those maps from the old TSR days. But I'm happy there is a map nonetheless, as it's not less-than-good or anything. Everything else look awesome, from the way things are explained, to the city's secrets, to overall design. Some folks have said that this city is stock-fantasy average and that Bard's Gate is rather generic. Well, if this was average and generic, I would be happy with things of this nature being mediocre all the time, then! A very good supplement for any GM or group. Once again, I may write about this more in the future.

First Impression Score: 8.6/10


And now for a couple comic mini-reviews!


Knights of the Dinner Table #130

Things heat up in BA's game and it's the usual lollercaust experience for me. Noah's Gamer's Rant on the Movies provides a excellent and funny razing of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. Whether I agree with him or not on anything, this is one of the first features I flip to. Lookin' at Comics provides some more interesting comics to check out, like Rogues of Clywyd-Rhan and Yet Another Fantasy Gamer Comic. Good, Bad, and Ugly provides 3 great GURPS characters. There's some Aces & Eights stuff, Rustlers of the Night gives me a Hackmaster monster I would like to throw at my players, and a write up on Twilight 2000. And there's more! KoDT is more than a comic, it's a frickin' awesome magazine for gamers everywhere. I don't know why I even bother reviewing this, because unless these guys start to really, REALLY cock up, I'm going to give it a high score every damned time. Hoody Hoo! 9/10



The Mice Templar #1

Mike Oeming's long worked on project finally bears mousy fruit! Written by his pal Bryan J.L. Glass, Mice Templar delivers. Essentially, this is Conan meets Watership Down with some Star Wars Jedi thrown in. Except with mice. And not be Mouse Guard. In fact, this bears little semblance to Mouse Guard, as it's more visceral and gritty. Mice Templar is pretty violent, too. Not something for the little kiddies. The basic plot is a coming of age story, and a quest that demands a boy becomes a hero. With a mentor. Sound familiar? I didn't say this was all that original. Even with that, this comic kicked ass. It was also nice to see that there were no ads! Just cover to cover comic goodness for a measly 4 bones. If you are into sword & sorcery, fantasy, and adventure, I cannot recommend this highly enough. There were a couple moments where I felt the story seemed disjointed, but this is a minor nitpick. It could have also just been me being tired. So, no worries. This title is everything I hoped it would be, with Glass and Oeming demonstrating what artistic vision is all about. Glass is someone who should write more books, and Oeming's art is in top form, with every nuance and quirk of his style enhancing his overall strengths. This is a stylistic book in the vein of Mignola somewhat, and that's high praise indeed coming from the likes of my. It doesn't look like Hellboy, it just reminds me of that particular style. Mike Oeming's art has been hit or miss with me over the years (though more hit than miss, I will happily claim), but this may be the best thing he has done so far in his career. It looks like he poured himself into it. It also reads that way, too. All in all, a great book and big rat-free kudos go out to these guys for getting this out there. Click on the heading link for a whole bunch of great information on Mice Templar. 9.1/10


Whew! That's it for today, kids. Man, this is like a love-fest! Do I ever really bitch about anything? Sure I do. It just so happens that I've been lucky, lately. Just wait until I'm not so lucky. Then you'll see... Muahahaha-- Uh, yeah.

Thanks for reading! Always feel free to drop me a line.

Conan and the Midnight God

Best comic of the year? Maybe. After picking up and reading the mini-series Conan and the Midnight God, I feel that it stands to reason that it is unlikely another comic will come along before year's end to topple this Hyborian juggernaut. So really, that "maybe" to me is a "Crom, YES". Not only did I read the series, but I re-read it, and read it again. I made my wife read it. I'm making my friends read it. I contacted Dark Horse to let them know they rule for putting stuff like this out for the slavering geek hordes to consume. I even made sure to mention it in my weekly column, All The Rage. I love this comic. Saying it's a 10 outta 10 is a damned crime. It's an 11 out of 10 at the very least. Conan and the Midnight God is what all comics should strive to be. It will be difficult to read other comics and not compare it to this kind of perfection.


Of course, your mileage may vary. I'm sure someone out there read this and decided it was a pile of steaming dung. I'm sure someone bought it and said "It's okay... Yeah, okay". I am not those people. I am the guy who climbed to the roof of his house and screamed for more. I'm the guy who wondered why all comics can't floor me like this.


Damn. So, uh, am I fanboy seizuring enough for you?




To be completely frank and as dispassionate as possible, Conan and the Midnight God is an excellent yarn, one set in the older years of Conan, 40-something King of Aquilonia. Conan seems a bit bored with being king, even though he is quite pleased to be expecting a child with his wife. Then a Stygian emissary shows up and the tale kicks into high gear. From that point on you will experience all of the trademarks of life in Hyboria; including tonnes of action, zombies, naked brutality, and surprising compassion. There are even a couple tear-jerker moments. I laughed, I cried, I cheered. It became a part of me.



Yeah, that last bit is an inside joke with a friend, but it's still quite true. I'll never forget this story. It's probably the best Conan story I have read in comics, one of the best Conan stories ever, and is certainly one of the better things you will read this side of Vanaheim. Perhaps I have become bored or jaded with what I usually read and this series totally ninjaed up on me and whomped me good. It's possible that this series is exactly what I needed to read during a really shitty month. One thing's for sure, though, this comic is quality. Pure quality. From Josh Dysart's terrific writing to Will Conrad's immersive pencils. Not to mention the great colour job by Juan Ferreyra, which adds some excellent visual depth. Oh, and the Jason Alexander covers. Can't forget those. Drool worthy (as you can no doubt see; unless you are blind, then, um, sorry) they are. Seriously, it's like being transported to the lands and time of our favourite Cimmerian. If only Conan the Destroyer had done that. Sigh.



Still not convinced to rush out and pre-order the trade paperback or just buy all five of the single issues? No worries. Here, take a look through issue #1. This is pretty neat because not only can see what the issue has to offer, but you can build it up from script through the final lettering stage. Really cool site feature, DH.


In conclusion, this is a great comic book series, any way you slice it-- be it with axe, sword, or knife. Dark Horse has a great track record with the Conan comics and this is absolutely no exception. Do yourself a favour: pick this story up, go home, and crush your enemies.

Steve's Dynamite Reviews 09/15/07

For those not in the know, Dynamite Entertainment makes comics. Well, okay, Dynamic Forces makes comics and Dynamite is their imprint. But, whatever. Same company, really, so I'll just call them "Dynamite". And a fine bunch they are! If someone were to ask me who one of my fave publishers are, these guys would be at the top of my list.

Since packages containing Dynamite's products mysteriously show up on my doorstep almost regularly, I feel it is my duty to at least mini-review them. That's why I call this "Steve's Dynamite Reviews". Get it? Oh, I kill me. If I get a load of comics from Dark Horse, then I'll call it "Steve Rides a Dark Horse"... No? Then "Steve's Dark Horse Reviews" it shall be. We're not there yet, so let's forge ahead with what we've got.

I added a date in the title for easier reference. Awesome, I know.

This time around I have four comics to yammer about. Sure, I'll add a score. Let's say 1-10, with 10 being the highest, of course. 1 = Unspeakably Bad, 10 = Orgasmically Good.

You get it, I'll wager.

These reviews are not meant to be in-depth or very detailed. Some may be longer or deeper than others. Just please keep in mind that it's whatever I think of off the top of my head. I read lots of comics and other nefarious materials. I wish I had the time to be Tolstoy of Reviews, but I simply cannot. Sorry.

Don't forget that even though I'm completely open about liking Dynamite, I won't hesitate to point out rubbish.

Let's start...




Painkiller Jane #3

You know, I really thought I would hate this series. It has all the trappings of standard boob-action schlock. Hot female leads, girl-on-girl make out sessions, edgy situations-- you get the picture. However, I'm pleased to say that this isn't a bad comic at all. The story is tight and the action is frantic yet easy to follow. It's also dialogue heavy, which is a plus to me; but I know that many of you may go "ehhhh". That said, the talky bits are the best part. My only gripe is that characters say the word "shit" and other similar words often, but they never say "fuck" or any variation thereof. It doesn't seem like a "PG-13" comic to me, more like "R". But the language thing does... Oh, well, not a biggie. I just like more swearing, I guess. Jimmy Palmiotti delivers an exciting and entertaining script, to be sure. Lee Moder's art is easy on the eyes and handles the action stuff nicely.The colours by Chris Garcia are eye-grabbing and vibrant, too. #3 wraps up the first story-arc in a neat and tidy fashion and also in a way as to, I'm guessing, please PKJ fans. This issue has plenty of stuff that goes bang and boom, and Jane is always a bit of a laugh as a lead character. The serious moments work, fitting in seamlessly. In the end: though I'm not a Painkiller Jane fan, if I keep reading more issues like this one, I could very well become one real quick-like.

8.3/10 (Good solid read and well scripted; Should please fans and entice new readers, though I recommend starting from issue #0 or #1)



Eva: Daughter of the Dragon (One-Shot)

I should preface this by stating that the writer, Brandon Jerwa, is a friend of mine; so I may be a tad biased. It's hard to slag a freind's work, you know? Not that Eva is bad or anything, but I've seen and heard that some reviewers were... rather unkind. Don't worry, I'm not going to cut Brandon that much slack. If I think it's terrible I'm going to say so... And it's not. Eva was pretty fun, actually. A rather large story is fit into one $5 issues, and it seems to work well. It focuses on Eva, who happens to be the daughter of Dracula (you know, The Dragon) who grows up to be a god-fearing ass-kicker, and Frankenstein and his patchwork dude fit in there, too. So do werewolves, but not as much as I would have liked. Eh, personal nitpick, so no worries. Anyhow, the story is also told from an amusing narration perspective that, though very cliche, does a serviceable job. It sort of reminded me of Tales from the Crypt meets Night Gallery, directed by Robert Rodriguez. Or something like that. Pacing in this one-shot is handled superbly, and is one of Jerwa's greatest strengths. Even if a plot and characters are kinda weak as we see in Eva, Brandon makes up for it in pacing and style; as well as excellent exposition. There's a lot of it. In fact, all four issues I'm reviewing are meaty with exposition. Good thing it doesn't bother me. Basically, it seems to me that the writer here was handed a pretty cheesy idea and he ran with it, with a mixed bag of results, but still erring on the side of fun. One thing, if I may point out, that bugged me is how quickly in the story Eva reveals herself to be Dracula's daughter to him; it should be noted that this is a one-shot and if it were a series then it probably would have been stretched out a bit. But enough about that windbag. I'd like to talk about the art. It's pretty damn good, although not all that consistent. By that I mean, there are some panels which are gorgeous and them some that are just pretty good. So, not really a complaint. Edgar Salazar is always welcome in my long-boxy home if he keeps doing art like this. Honestly, his illustrative style reminds me of stuff I would see in mighty comics like 2000 AD. I look forward to seeing more of his work. All in all, Eva isn't awesome by any stretch of the imagination. If you want Jerwa being awesome, pick up Battlestar Galactica: Zarek or BSG: Season Zero. Even if Eva isn't awesome, it's one heck of a fun ride and I wouldn't mind reading a follow-up; especially since there were a few things left unresolved.

6.8/10 (Not a bad one-shot to spend your money on, especially if you like Dracula and FrankenMonster and kick ass religious gals, well, kicking ass-- then you can't go wrong picking this up; It's not totally great, though, so expect fun, not The Death of Captain Marvel).



Dark Xena #4

There's really no better way to start this bit other than saying "John Layman needs more work, dammit". Although Dark Xena is not something that is going to win any awards, it should win something simply for the fact that Layman expertly inserts the quirky humour of the show into the script to great effect. If you haven't been following this story, go get issue #1. What's going on? It's a simple tale of "Careful what you wish for, Gabrielle". My only beef is that this should have been longer than 4 issues. It all seemed to wrap up very quickly, which added to herky-jerky pacing issues in this, er, issue. Regardless, I really enjoyed it. Once again, perhaps I'm biased as Layman is my sworn enemy and hates it when people say nice things about his books. I really liked this series. I like how Layman handled it. I love how it's presented, both in narration and art. Noah Salonga has a simple, yet elegant way of literally drawing you into a story. Wait. Did I just say that? Look, as corny as it sounds, it's true. The art is quite good. This series is quite good, and I don't care what anyone else says. Layman must suffer.

7.3/10 (Certainly for Xena fans; great translation from show to comic; characters are handled with care; Keep in mind that it can still be pretty cheesy and/or wacky, though)



The Boys #10

I'm a huge fanboy of this series. At least I was... (and quite probably still am, now that I think about it). Like any new series that starts out strong, it will plateau at some point and all that initial excitement will fade somewhat. It doesn't help if the story can lose focus a tad from time to time and if the plot-devices alway have dildoes and the words "faggot" and "cunt" attached to them in order to gain adult-worthy shock value. That said, I still really enjoy this title. It has its harsh moments where I wonder if Garth Ennis is just recycling ideas over and over and over (he does do it form time to time, I cannot lie) but its good moments more than make up for its bad. Also, the overall message, though coated occasionally in semen, blood, feces, urine, or some combination thereof, isn't usually completely lost. As opposed to that sentence. Damn. Anyhoo, this book still has my attention. And why does it? Because the characters are compelling. Because I want to know more. Because Ennis has weaved a terrific story that despite its flaws manages to shine like... well, a shiny thing. Darick Robertson also manages to bring the joy with his impressive art. It does seem to be wonky a teeny bit from time to time. I don't know if this is because Darick is experimenting with new styles, or I'm just tired, that I have a fist-sized tumour in my head, or something else. It still wows me any way it's cut. He's good. Damn good. And still remains one of my favourite illustrators in the business. Okay, enough cock-smoking... what about the story in this issue? Well, the Get Some arc reaches it's rather anti-climatic conclusion. I was hoping for something more exciting. I suppose this is where The Boys may fail some people. Not every issue-- fuck, not every ARC is going to be packed with fisticuffs and epic battles. Normally, I'm cool with this... But I wish there could have been something more "fisticuffy" or "epic battley" at the end here. Even saying all of that, I was still pretty satisfied with the conclusion. The best part in the whole story is the end, which reveals the fate of Tek-Knight. The last page is one of the best last pages ever in the history of comics. Genius, I tell you. Worth the price of admission alone. Whole lot of talking in this issue, too, and of course Ennis doesn't fail to bring it home. Not perfect, but nothing is. Except maybe the pairing of Ennis and Robertson. --What? It couldn't be helped, alright?! I just think they rule as a team, is all. Move along.

7.9/10 (Decent conclusion to the arc; nice dialogue and some excellent scenes; I just wish it had more oomph--- And best closing page ever... if not ever, then in a long, long time)



And there you have it. Not a bad bunch this time around. I like getting comics that I don't want to throw away or set on fire. Seeing as Dynamite produces many titles, another Steve's Dynamite Reviews should be up soon. In the meantime, I'm sure I can find other things to ramble about.

Oh, and Painkiller Jane #4 is having the Terminator show up. Interesting? Usually I would say "um, no", but considering how well Terminator 2: Infinity is being handled, I'm more curious than I would expect.

Roll Initiative

So... I have decided to start yet another blog. Well, I don't write a lot of blogs or anything; I just have started a couple, only to let the fall to the wayside. Now, I do have a primary place I post my thoughts, trials, tribulations, and taco-love-- my Livejournal. You are welcome to swing by, check it out, add me, all that fun stuff. I suppose I could have done all of this there, but I feel that having a blog (how many times can I say that damned word?) of this nature will help alleviate those LJ friends of mine who have little to now interest in reading about this crap. Besides, their scrolling fingers could use a break.

Then there's MediaGauntlet.com, a site that I write for now and then, and I'm even told I co-run it in a way (all lies; my buddy Ryan Speck does most, if not all of the work). Originally, this was going to be a feature over there. However, I wanted all these tidbits under "one roof" and at MG I would have had to split things up according to subject article-wise. This is not to say that I won't write about this stuff over at MG (or my LJ). Oh, no. I like to write stuff at MediaGauntlet when I can. It's a great site.

That leaves Silver Bullet Comic Books. I love that site. So much so that I tirelessly write a weekly column over there called ALL THE RAGE. But that concerns comic books... and though I love comics, I want to talk about other things. I also don't want to have to write long reviews or anything. That's what this blog is for.

What should you expect with Diary of a Grognerd? A few things, really. I'm going to yap about comics, roleplaying games, videogames, books, and all the other stuff that falls into those realms. And maybe other stuff, too (such as, say, boardgames). Don't expect me to be all that frequent. I'm notorious for starting shit and never finishing it. I get all excited and then -fump-, something new and shiny item distracts me. That's why I want this to be about a wide array of "nerdy" things. Hopefully, it can be of some use to you. If you have a suggestion or comment, please don't hesitate to leave one. I like hearing from people.

Let's see if this lasts more then a couple weeks, shall we?